[splitimage]

I'm not sure what I want out of this post except maybe some reasurrance that I'm not out of my mind. I've struggled with major clinical depression all my life and receently went in-patient at a psych hospital to get help and my medications sorted out. I shared at a meeting that when I was in the hospital reading the big book and meditation had really helped me keep calm and that I felt it had streengthend my link with my higher power. But after the meeting was over a woman, who I generally really respect and who goes to almost all of the same meetings as me came up and asked what I'd been in for. I said depression and she launched into a lecture about how when she got down she just went to more meetings and they cleared her mind and was I praying enough because I had to get away from the "poison" of medications from the Dr.'s. this isn't the first time I've run into anti psych messages in AA - just the most overt. I don't want to compare degrees of depression but for me it means planning suicide. That hospitalization helped me more than anythign else has and I probably wouldn't be alive without my meds. but that doesn't mean I'm not committed to AA in my recovery fromm alcohol. I just don't want to feel that they have to be two mutually exclusive parts of my life..

--splitimage

[Raynaadi]

To me, its TOTAL BS when people go off about taking meds for depression in recovery. The bigbook even talks about needing to seek outside help outside of the steps and the program. The steps are great, but for those of us with physical issues, we need doctors and medications.....so I wouldn't let her get to you. She has her opinion, and if she says anything again, you can say, "Thank you for sharing. This is between me, my higher power, my sponsor, and my doctors."

When I first got my MS diagnosis, all kinds of people were coming up to me after meetings saying "So and so I knew had MS and this is what she did....." I finally starting saying to everyone, "Thank you, but my medical care is between my doctor and me."

I recently started taking a medication for my fatigue, called Provigil. My doctor specifically put me on it because of my alcoholism. Its not a stimulant, its like an alertness booster. I told my sponsor before I took it. I'm just waiting for the person who's going to give me sh** for it.

Antidepressants and other medication for depression and other kinds of mental instability, in my opinion, don't make us any less sober than anyone else. I've heard countless stories about people who's sponsor's told them they shouldn't take it, they go off it, and drink or die.

Just keep remembering that everyone in AA is an alcoholic.....and alcoholics love to be right. Take what you want and leave the rest. That woman obviously never had depression like you have.

Stick with the people who understand mental illness AND alcoholism. Not all alcoholics understand a thing about mental illness.

"There are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest." Bigbook pg. 58

You're doing fine. Just keep being honest with your higher power, your sponsor, your fellows, and yourSELF and you'll be fine.

I don't think they have to be two mutually exclusive parts of your life. Its clear that your meds and AA are two huge things in your life that you need. Go over this with your sponsor, let her know what happened. Do an inventory on that woman.

I think you're doing just fine hon. Keep up the good work!!! Oh and what was the last chip you picked up, I know the last time you posted you were coming up on a chip but I spaced which one?

[splitimage]

Thanks a bunch for the reassurance. It sometimes seems like there's all kinds of confusing and contradictory advice out there.

Thanks for asking about the chip - I just got my 3 month! And now that I'm out of hospital it's been great getting back to my regular meetings and seeing everyone.

Lot's of medallions in my home group this month so it's pretty inspiring - not to mention the cake (ok so I'm shallow)

--splitimage

[Raynaadi]

NICE!!!!! A quarter year, one day at a time!!!!

My service commitment at my homegroup is to do the birthday board every month. We have a dry erase board that we write the monthly birthdays on. We've got a lot in July, but they're mostly all towards the end of the month. I don't know why that struck me as funny lol. We've got a total over over 280 years of sobriety just for the month of July.....crazy!!!!

We only have a cake every so often, on the last Saturday of the month for the birthday meeting. The person who does the birthday snacks is a health nut, so we mostly get fruit and stuff. Its a nice change when there's a cake haha!