[La Belle Dame]

So when my boss was onto me for smoking near the building (I was an art teacher for a small private school) I decided to switch to an ecig. I was using an ecig for roughly two months and by then the school year had ended. I was using it more and more now with the open time to just chain smoke it and honestly I felt like I had a break down or an overdose and after reading all the symptoms I realized that I needed to just let it go for good. I quit the ecig 15 days ago and went cold turkey. Since then I’ve been uncontrollably emotional. My anxiety has hit an all time high and along with it I feel just completely broke inside. I cry over basically nothing and I have very few moments of real mental clarity. I’ve read that letting smoking go is like letting someone you love go or someone you love dying. The only thing I can really link this feeling with is when my grandfather died. I just felt a constant physical and emotional sickness mixed with random crying bouts that just in time eventually went away as I healed. I don’t have any obligations for this month and no real responsibilities and while I don’t intend to completely shut myself off from the world I do feel like maybe I need to take a month and just read books watch movies work in my yard outside and take walks rather than push myself to try to feel better. Has anyone else experienced quitting smoking like this? Before when I smoked I was a very organized on time kept my stuff together type person. Is it possible for with drawls to last this long and make you feel like you’ve just completely fallen apart even though you keep telling yourself you haven’t and it will pass? I was never depressed before I stopped smoking so I can’t figure out if this is some type of mourning or if because its persisted for two weeks now that its more than that?