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#1
Sep 06, 2007, 12:27 AM
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What is the sponser thing and how does it work?
thank you chalmette
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So often we dwell on the things that seem impossible rather than on the things that are possible. So often we are depressed by what remains to be done and forget to be thankful for all that has been done.--Marian Wright Edelman |
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#2
Sep 06, 2007, 01:27 AM
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A sponsor is just someone who's worked the 12 steps who is ready to help someone else work the 12 steps and live life sober. For me, it was part of asking for help. I asked a woman at a meeting to be my sponsor and she worked the steps with me. She's since moved away and I've been with my current sponsor for 2 years. Sometimes the relationship doesn't work out for whatever reason, so we can always move on to another. Women usually sponsor women and men usually sponsor men.
My sponsor is a trusted friend who I take the majority of my problems to. Even the smallest little thing can lead me to drink if I'm not careful. Since she knows me so well, she nearly always knows how to get me out of my head. She has 17 years of sobriety, and I'm so grateful to her. Sponsors just make suggestions. They don't tell us what to do. They tell us what they did to get what they have. If we want what they have, we do what they do. It works because I can see that she's made it through anything and everything without taking a drink. Without someone who's walked the road before me, I wouldn't know how to do it. She's my guide. I hope that helps.....  Rayna
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#3
Sep 06, 2007, 03:33 AM
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It does rayna, thank you.
just one more question. Is the only way of doing that by going to AA? thank you
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So often we dwell on the things that seem impossible rather than on the things that are possible. So often we are depressed by what remains to be done and forget to be thankful for all that has been done.--Marian Wright Edelman |
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#4
Sep 06, 2007, 11:49 AM
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Well, as far as sponsor's go, I think so? But its the only way I've ever done it. I know at treatment centers and stuff like that, they have councelors. Those councelors might be kinda like sponsors, but I think you only talk to them when going in for treatment etc. I can call my sponsor at 3am if I think I'm gonna drink. And my sponsee can call me at 3am if she thinks she's gonna drink.
I know for me, by being a sponsor, I'm giving back what was so freely given to me. So it helps me stay sober. This is just the way I've chosen to do it for me, to gain happiness while being sober. I know that for me, if I had done it any other way, I would have made myself miserable. I needed a way to cope with life without picking up a drink, and my sponsor and all my sober friends help me do that. But there are many other ways of getting sober, I just don't know what they are lol. There are people here who've gotten sober without AA. For me, AA literally saved my life. But its different for everybody.
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#5
Sep 06, 2007, 11:52 AM
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Chalmette… welcome.
As to your question, “Is the only way of doing that by going to AA?” No I don’t think so. I think people get sober in all kinds of fashions. There are lots of other recovery paths you can try, do a goggle search on it and you will come up with many options. But, few if any of these other paths utilize the sponsorship model. Like Ray said, a sponsor can truly save your life. There are so many ways we can screw up our sobriety early, and my sponsor has passed successfully through many of the things I struggled with, his insight was invaluable. Do whatever your heart tells you to do as far as your recovery goes, just don’t walk away from AA recovery out of contempt prior to investigation. Richard |
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#6
Sep 06, 2007, 11:58 AM
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Heh, we can screw up later in sobriety too haha. Just the other day, I called my sponsor over a problem with the woman I'm sponsoring, and she told me to hang up and write an inventory and call her back. She hasn't had to that in a loooong time lol.
Oh Chalm, just so you know what I'm talking about lol, an inventory is what we're taught to write when we're full of anger and resentment. It narrows down the cause of the anger, so that we know what to work on. I never had any way of doing this until I started on the steps. And I still do these things, even over 2 years into sobriety. Without a sponsor, I wouldn't do it and then I'd be miserable all the time.
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#7
Sep 06, 2007, 01:28 PM
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I am in NA myself. For myself a sponsor is someone who I can give extra support and call at 2 am if need be. I really don't do the steps myself.
The idea is mainly about a support system that you can rely on and it doesn't have to be through a 12 step program. It breaks the isolation  Ladylore
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Resolve to be thyself: and know, that he who finds himself, loses his misery. -Matthew Arnold. |
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#8
Sep 06, 2007, 01:45 PM
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 The fellowship is HUGE for me in recovery. Just having a bunch of people who understand is the best medicine. Its a lot like PC for me....PC is my support when I'm home and don't feel like getting on the phone. My sober buddies are my support "out there".
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#9
Sep 06, 2007, 09:47 PM
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My sponsor picked me 3 1/2 years ago
 I didn't know how it worked and she gave me her number. She then drove me to meetings for a couple months after I had my knee replaced. Finally one day she said "Am I your sponsor or what?" I thought she already was! She is still my sponsor. I sponsored 2 teenage girls, 16 then 15, and I just picked up a new 20 year old sponsee. I learn more from them than they probably learned from me!
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#10
Sep 06, 2007, 11:17 PM
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Thank you all for answering and giving me your ideas and experiences. I'm not quite sure what i'm going to do yet, if i do anything. But, i called the AA office in the city and they told me there is a meeting held down where i live, but only once every two weeks. I'm going to google and see what i can find otherwise for now. I'll let you know if i make a decision.
(((((((((hugs to you all))))))))), thank you chalmette
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So often we dwell on the things that seem impossible rather than on the things that are possible. So often we are depressed by what remains to be done and forget to be thankful for all that has been done.--Marian Wright Edelman |
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#11
Sep 06, 2007, 11:26 PM
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Once every two weeks??? Wow!!! That's crazy!
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#12
Sep 06, 2007, 11:42 PM
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they said they're hoping to start once a week soon and they're having a hard time finding a place to have the two meetings a month as it is.
don't know, don't know that i would even go
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So often we dwell on the things that seem impossible rather than on the things that are possible. So often we are depressed by what remains to be done and forget to be thankful for all that has been done.--Marian Wright Edelman |
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#13
Sep 07, 2007, 01:20 AM
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I go to between 5 and 7 meetings a week lol. Are you in a really small area?
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#14
Sep 07, 2007, 02:21 AM
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well yeah and no. the next closest place to go is about 11 miles away. but it takes at least 35 minutes to get there and not in a great neighborhood. But i dont wanna get into that story at this time. and i dont have a vehicle at this time and cant stand to be in my truck anymore. so i'm kinda screwed for the moment.
i'm still gotta google. chalmette
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So often we dwell on the things that seem impossible rather than on the things that are possible. So often we are depressed by what remains to be done and forget to be thankful for all that has been done.--Marian Wright Edelman |
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#15
Sep 07, 2007, 11:50 AM
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There's online meetings too. I used to go to them when I couldn't get out. I used to go here for them: www.12steps.org
Its a chat room where you can just go talk, and then they have online meetings as well.
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#16
Sep 07, 2007, 12:00 PM
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Wow Chalmette,
Just wanted to wish you really good luck. Don''t know what I'd do if I couldn't get to my 7 meetings a week. Hope you're able to get to at least one - being without transportation sucks. But like Rayna said, you could try on-line meetings for now. Good luck. --splitimage
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 "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba 
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#17
Sep 07, 2007, 08:06 PM
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Just wanted to let ya'll know i did some googling and i checked out the site you posted rayna. I went in the chat room there for a little bit and found the times that they have meetings there. I may try out a meeting there.
thank ya'll chalmette
__________________
So often we dwell on the things that seem impossible rather than on the things that are possible. So often we are depressed by what remains to be done and forget to be thankful for all that has been done.--Marian Wright Edelman |
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#18
Sep 07, 2007, 08:54 PM
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chalmette, i don't go to AA and neither does my "sponsor" -I highly suggest going to AA because it is a great support system, but it just did not work for me. My trusted friend has been there for me--held my hand when things were rocky and told me to get off my duff when I grew complacent. I think the most important thing is that you develop relationships with people who are sober and who support you.
I have been to AA and I have a lot of their literature that I still sometimes read. I work a program every day. My steps are a little different but I have taken what works for me from AA and it has made my life so much better--I have really grown as a person--into the type of person I can be happy with. Since I did not go to AA, I really had to work on reaching out to others and I immersed myself in readings about recovery. There are numerous self help books in the bookstores. Some of them AA based and some of them not. I tried to keep myself focused on recovery and I journaled about my thoughts and feeling each and every day--sometimes more than once a day. I had to really be proactive and pay attention to my thought process--keep it focused on developing as a person...keeping my frustration, self pity and other emotions in check. For me, it was the hardest to not drink when I got off work. If work really did not stress me out, I would invent stress...my illness would do anything to tempt me to drink. I have been taking antabuse for 20 months. It is not a replacement for a recovery program but it has been a useful tool in keeping me sober. My resolve to stay sober is the strongest in the morning--that is when I take the antabuse. Then when I get home in the evenings I know I can't drink. Antabuse stays in your system for up to 2 weeks. There have been days where I did not take it and I thought about drinking, but I always came back to my senses before the 2 weeks was up. I am a very impulsive person and the antabuse has always bought me the time I needed to get in touch with my support system. You will find wonderful support here in this forum and if you want, feel free to PM me. Talking/writing to others is an important part of me staying sober.
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You don't have to fly straight...  ...just keep it between the lines!
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#19
Sep 08, 2007, 12:28 AM
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Thank you so much for sharing that DePressMe. I knew you did it without AA but didn't know how, so now I know haha! I think its wonderful to check all possible ways of recovering and find the one that is best suited.
I always talk AA because its what I know. Its good to find out the other ways to do it, and very important, especially on a board like this, for others to know as well, that there are many ways one can recover and be happy. So thank you again for sharing!! And Chalm, thank you for starting this thread! Rayna
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#20
Sep 08, 2007, 02:17 AM
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Rayna, I too respect whatever path works for a person. Ultimately there is no right or wrong. People who believe their way is the only way or that they hold the key to sobriety worries me. AA may not be my path but I have stolen bits and pieces of it here and there and it has helped me on my journey.
I think it is important that we not only quit drinking, but that we recover from this disease as a person--address our physical, spiritual and emotional needs. That is what keeps me sober and gives me hope for the future. Sorry Chalm, I did not mean to highjack your thread.
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You don't have to fly straight... ...just keep it between the lines!
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#21
Sep 08, 2007, 03:21 AM
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I absolutely agree.
I'm so glad to hear your viewpoint.
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#22
Sep 09, 2007, 06:23 PM
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Depressme, thank you for sharing your experience with me. I want to congratulate you on your sobriety.
I am trying to weigh it all out in my head and hopefully make the right decision. I don't remember what happened last night, but I'm sitting here with my foot up and ice on it. Cause its swollen badly and blood red with bruises. I couldn't tell ya what i did to mess my foot up like this, but i'm sure getting tired of things like this happening. I've taken everyones opinions, advice and experiences and am going to think hard about it all. I'll keep ya'll updated on what i end up doing. (((((((((hugs))))))))))) chalmette
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So often we dwell on the things that seem impossible rather than on the things that are possible. So often we are depressed by what remains to be done and forget to be thankful for all that has been done.--Marian Wright Edelman |
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#23
Sep 09, 2007, 06:25 PM
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No bad hijacking feelings taken depressme.
Thank you and everyone else again for giving me some insight here. I appreciate it. chalmette
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So often we dwell on the things that seem impossible rather than on the things that are possible. So often we are depressed by what remains to be done and forget to be thankful for all that has been done.--Marian Wright Edelman |
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