[positive90808]

I don't know if this belongs here or in the relationship section but it seems more alcohol focused so I thought I would start here. The goal of this post is to find out if I'm a crazy, uptight, anxious person or if there is validity to my issues.

Back story:

Been with my wife 8 years, married for 5. We were mid/late 20's when we married and we got along great. Initially we both socially drank, nothing too crazy - nights out with friends and wine/beer at dinner. At the time it was all fun and games and I was very easy going about alcohol.

As time has progressed however (I'm now 33), I've become very, very sensitive to my wife's alcohol consumption. I have become VERY uptight anytime alcohol is involved. I'm not 100% sure why this has happened, but when she drinks I become super agitated and no fun at all. I want to crawl into a hole and go to bed anytime she starts to exhibit signs of being tipsy.

The stuff that drives me crazy:

Being at a bar with friends - she slurs. She knocks a drink over. Maybe she calls someone the wrong name. It makes me want to get in the car and leave her.

We are at the lake house, all day long she is mixing drinks and pouring drinks and encouraging others to drink. Her sister and likely any other "Young adults" that are present join right in. I'm always the stick in the mud that is becoming more and more anxious as alcohol consumption rises.

We decide to go to the movies. Maybe she pours some wine in a water bottle to drink at the theater. I will immediately be in a bad mood.

I used to LOVE going on vacation with her. Now I dread it because she will want a drink at the airport. She will want to drink on the plane. We get to our destination and she will want to drink at the pool.

What makes this even harder is that our society would seemingly find zero fault in this. If we are out and run into another couple, chances are they are looking to get just as drunk. If we meet some other folks on vacation, drink drink drink. If we meet up with her family, her sister might get drunker than her. It's like I'm surrounded by an entire world that lives for alcohol.

Just for the record, I enjoy beer here and there. I don't get drunk and I don't drink to get drunk. I just drink cause it's fun and social, but I always stop before I slur or get out of control. She does not.

I don't know what else to say, I know I'm rambling. If anyone has any constructive thoughts or opinions on this, I'd love to hear them.

[emgreen]

You're not rambling at all, & you're no stick in the mud. Since I'm an alcoholic, I hesitate to say that others are, too, but it sounds like your wife drinks an awful lot. I'm sure you've approaced her with your feelings & suspicions, but it's hard for a real alcoholic to quit until they admit to themselves that there's a problem. Just my opinion (& I'm no specialist), but just keep reminding her how you feel. It sounds like an especially difficult situation for you. There's a group called Alanon for the partners & families affected by the drinkers in their lives. It's totally anonymous, so your wife wouldn't have to know you're going. As a "simple drunk" I don't feel as qualified to offer advice as a member of Alanon would. Google Alanon or AA in your area to find some meetings. Take care, & I'm sorry for your stress.