A higher power?!?

I was reading a post yesterday and someone said that they claim no higher power. That got me thinking. What do I claim as my higher power?

I’m stumped. I came into Alcoholics Anonymous as an agnostic, and I guess I still am. I don’t have a clue. But I have looked into it.

I am an artist by trade, and in my education, I studied the great masters, Raphael, Michelangelo, Peter Paul Rubins, Dour, etc. Each one painted masterful images of God. A beautiful old man on a throne of clouds or the like. I never thought that that was an actual representation of reality. They are beautiful, but they are only artifice,

The Calvinists believe God is out to screw us for all eternity if we wander off the path only a hair. Among Christians, they are not alone in this. That can’t be right.

The Hindus have so many Gods even they aren’t sure how many. In fact, each household can have it’s own personal God. One of my favorite parts of Hinduism is an individual can claim that they are God. It seems the idea is God is a playwright, and dreamed up this entire world. But because God is a very good playwright, God forgot that it is just a play. And all of us are players in this grand play, and in that, we are nothing less than God ourselves. That one pleases me a lot. I like the sound of that. I don’t believe that the dreaming God is the be all and end all of it, but it works for me on many levels.

The Buddhists were borne out of Hinduism. They took it to the next logical level. If there are so many Gods that on one can count them, in fact we are all of us God, then the idea of identifying God is not entirely useful. Buddhists, Zen Buddhists in particular, don’t spend any time trying to understand God. The job at hand is to wake up. Like the Hindus, they believe we are asleep to our true natures, and the goal of Zen meditation and study is to wake up to it.

And this just scratches the surface of different ideas on God. So many ideas on what God might be. How is one to know?

I try not to confuse myself between the map, (any idea if what God might be) and the territory.

Just speaking for myself, my spiritual path has become very simple these days. I get up in the morning, and I try not to lie, cheat, or steal all day long. And at bedtime, if I have managed to cut way down on my lying, cheating and stealing, and I haven’t gotten drunk or stoned all day long, I tell God thank you.

It doesn’t matter to me that I don’t know to whom or to what I say thank You, it just matters that I do.

Richard

Great post Richard. And it really helped me this particular morning. My car was broken into last night, the window shattered. I kept telling God NO MORE. But I like the playright theory....about how God can't control everyone, because God controls no one. I don't believe in anything concrete either. I don't know what my higher power is, I just know that I'm not it. So I do the same, try to go about my daily life a good person, and say thank you. Last night I thought about getting drunk for the first time in a long time. It was just too much, too much had happened in recent events. My sponsor told me its about life on life's terms. She reminded me that just because we get sober, doesn't mean life stops. We just walk through it sober and try to do it with grace.

The fact that this alcoholic didn't drink last night is proof to me that something other then my alcoholic mind is running the show. It could just be the part of me that knows right from wrong, it could be a force, I don't know. I came to believe in a higher power; I didn't come to understand a higher power.

So yeah, I quit wondering and just surrendered. And I'm still sober.

Ray, sorry your car got broken into, that sort of think isn’t any fun. But you must have heard that life happens to us all. Drunk of sober, happy or depressed, rich or poor, s### happens to us all. Like you said, our job is to not compound that bit of bad luck with the crushing disaster of a drink.

That’s what the spiritual tools are for, When we are in a tight place, we pull them out.

Richard

P,s. love your countdown thingy

If you want to get really basic, a higher power could just be "not Me". If I'm having trouble "doing it" doesn't mean that everyone/thing outside of me also is having trouble and that no one can help me if I ask. I think we're gods in that sense when we help others who need it. It's just seeing the "larger picture" better.

I started working the steps on my depression. I really got stumped on the second step and trying to believe there was a power greater than myself that could restore me to sanity. I finally decided that I really did not need to have an exact definition of what "it" was as long as I believed there was something greater than myself. Then came the question, was this power great enough to restore me to sanity. HHmmm...if there is a power strong enough to make the earth go round, surely it is strong enough to restore little ole me to sanity. Sometimes, I think my higher power is a spiritual essence, Sometimes I think it is knowledge--scientific knowledge and spiritual knowledge combined. Whatever it is, I do believe it is strong enough to restore me to sanity as long as I get out of the way.

Thanks Richard. My first thought this morning over the whole car mess was ok, what do I do when I'm resentful at someone? Pray for them. So the thought occured to me that the person who busted into my car might just be another alcoholic/addict looking for money for a fix. So I prayed that they find their way out of destruction. Suddenly I was able to see the gratitude in the whole situation, number one being that I didn't get drunk over it.

Perna yeah, good take on the whole higher power concept. Sometimes I just think my higher power is the part inside me that knows what the next right thing is. I love the freedom in being able to believe whatever I want.

(PS-I saw DePressMe's ticker and thats what gave me the idea to do one for myself haha!! )

Raynaadi, sorry your car got broke into. I can relate, I've had my car window busted 3 times and my house broken into once. Sounds like you are dealing with it in a positive manner. I am really glad you can handle situations like this and stay in a positive mood. Think of how angry and drunk we would have gotten when we were still drinking as a result of something like this...

I just read this in the book called Zen and Recovery by Mel Ash.

"When we are free to define the power greater than ourselves, we invariably choose one that is essentially an extension of our deepest yearnings and noblest hopes. It is a higher power we feel a part of and not apart from. A natural relationship is resumed between us and our source of existence, whatever we choose to call it."

BTW, Raynaadi, I like your ticker better--where did you get it? I could not find one that counted like that.

I've been struggling a lot with the concept of a HP. growing up in a religious household (dad was a minister) didn't help. I guess for now my concept of a higher power is nature because I just see too much beauty and power in nature for it not to be greater than myself.
but I also see my HP as part of myself that is slowly waking up - it's the part of me that wants to do what's right and believe in positive things.
ever since I was introduced to mindfulness meditation I can come to a place of piece where I do feel I connect with that better inner part of myself & since mindfullness meditation is all about experiencing everything in its fullest in the now it fits in well with AA philosophy of staying in the moment.

I guess ultimately I believe that we all have a spark of nature or the universe within us that is our best part and our job is to make contact with that part as much as possible. Hope that made sense.

--splitimage

I am with you Split. I like to look to nature for models of how to be. Nature never builds artless sunsets. Never has a wave broken on a shore without grace. In fact, I look at trees growing, and I believe they are obeying God’s law.

God makes it real simple for trees, grow or die. And every one is doing one or the other. They have no choice.

My spirituality is like that, grow or die. Like the Big Book says, We have a daily reprieve contingent on our spiritual condition.

Trees, clouds, water, they walk the spiritual walk without exception. I, on the other hand, can chose to wander off into the darkness, or stay here on the path.

Richard

If I ever doubt that my Higher Power exists, I promptly go to a list I made in early sobriety that lists those times when I came out of a blackout in time to miss a head on collision, or when I came to shooting a pistol, of the time I came to driving around Memorial Park in Houston before running someone over. Or the times I had alcohol poisoning and lived to tell about it. There are so many more. I still make lists to keep current about how my Higher Power exists. Hope this helps someone.

Radar