[ComfortablyNumb5]

The holidays for me are pretty much a sloppy day of trying to keep a buzz to stay sane. It’s 12pm and I already opened a beer. When I woke up I had to take one Ativan because I was freaking out about today. Took a norco hours later. I just need to get by and that’s all. Screw my diet and conscious today. I want a **** load of turkey and beer. I’m an animal.

For what it’s worth, after today I am forcing myself to take a break from alcohol and slow down on my Ativan. I have to do something here. This has been going on too long.

Well, I hope everyone’s holiday is good and that you have more willpower than me today!! ((Hugs))

[emgreen]

Thanks for the holiday wishes, & hope you didn't have too stressful an go of it. I'm glad you were thinking about cutting back/taking a break after Thanksgiving. I hope you're in the process of doing that as I write. If you're having a hard time, you're certainly not the first! Keep checking this forum & share what's going on. Be nice.

emgreen

[Introvrtd1]

Im not much better....i keep relapsing every week. i wanna do a month sober but i cant get past a week. failed again...

[emgreen]

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling, Introvrted. I noticed the title of this thread is, "I'm ashamed of myself today." No need for shame; it's obvious you know how important staying clean is, & how difficult it can be at first. Hang in there & keep us posted.