Daily addictions check in #[two]

I'm so sorry, splitimage! I don't think I've ever had a dream so traumatic that I've been shaken awake by tears! Drinking dreams are bad enough, but add sneaking around at work while living there!? That's the topping on the cake. I found it interesting that you wrote it was a sign that your subconscious was catching up with your intellect. I think that's very insightful. Don't have another dream like that! But it sounds like you took some good away from that horrible nightmare.

rainbow in the dark!!! Glad you made it over from the other addiction forum! I really enjoyed chatting with you!

It's now less than a week until my surgery. Today my therapist said I should look at pain as something good (the body healing itself), rather than as something unpleasant. With twisted logic like that, I think I woulda been out drunk in my olden times! "Pain is good, so spank me PLEASE!!!"

Reminds me of the line from the movie "GI Jane" "Pain is your friend. It tells you you're not dead yet."

There's an upside to everything if you look hard enough.

splitimage

I had a drinking dream last night that I was walking through a huge brewery and I thought it was awesome when I found out that the workers got two 32 oz. beers for their lunch break. WTF!????

Oh yeah, that's the first drinking dream in a long time for me, so there's that.

Hi Emgreen and all the rest! Hope the surgery goes well!

Wow! And you've been sober a few years! Must be all the alcohol chat here!

Reminds me of when I got into middle distance running (10+ miles). The wall most people hit is about 4 miles in (past the 5k) and the adage was "Once you break through that pain, you discover a whole other universe of pain". It was a joke to scare people; actually once you broke through you got into a state of mind where you could run and run. The first time you make it 5 miles, you will likely be able to run 10.

Hi friends.

Hello. All's well?

No I am pretty done.

What does that mean? I am sorry you are feeling down and hurting.

I am just so depressed lately it physically and mentally hurts to function and living is draining me.

My gf wanted to get crystal tonight but I talked her out of it. She is on board that we don't need that... But I am feeling like an idiot and craving it so hard tonight.

Your gf is on board? That's great news! You are not an idiot; you are making the smart play.

Yeah, she is on board as far as the crystal goes, but there are still lots of other substances floating around. :/ One thing at a time? I don't know. I am disappointed in myself.

Yes, one thing at a time is progress. Progress shouldn't be a disappointment, but it is hard to see that when you feel down. I hope the depression passes soon. You are hanging in there. Things will get better.

Jesslynn, hang in. It's really hard to quit when there are drugs are around. I wish there was some way for you to get to a rehab and be in a totally recovery related environment for a period.

Today is 2 months sober for me again.

splitimage

JessLynn, I think being able to tell your gf that crystal was a bad idea AND her agreeing iss amazing and absolutely progress!

I agree, some sort of inpatient rehab would be wonderful for you (and her)... I know a lot of people who would not have been able to stop without being physically removed from the environment for a while. That is one of the benefits of rehab and treatment centers. They also teach us skills to say no, why we should say no, and help us see why we use in the first place. That why aspect can be the hardest, it was for me (and still is) but going thru that process, if we aren't sober and clear minded and also separated from the drugs, the risk of using is just to high.

Also I hit 5 mos a few days ago!

Congrats! Mine is in two weeks; keep blazing the trail ahead of me!

Way to go childofchaos. That's awesome.
splitimage

So today another milestone....

Well, the bad news is that I slipped again. The other news (not necessarily good lol) is that I may be going to rehab after the 22nd. :/

I like BIG numbers, green! That's 28 months, too!!! And you've saved $2000! Hey...I need a loan...

I think that's great news, Jess! What's the story? How did you make such a brave decision?

Sorry emgreen I don't have the money it went to my amazon.ca shopping addiction of buying gift cards to pay for the stuff I get!

Greentires is an Amazon junkie! Isn't there a 12 Step Program for that?