[tillpost]

I'm done with acting like everything will sort itself out. If you don't know by my other post, basically my parents have a dysfunctional "relationship" complete with abuse (domestic and verbal), cheating, gambling from my father's side, and drug addiction to cope with it on my mom's side.

The physical abuse, cheating, and gambling has stopped on my father's side for a while now - some years. My mom however, is still addicted to something. i don't know 100% what she's on, she was addicted to ambien from the doctor but i dont know if that's what she still is addicted to (since its rx and controlled substance, she's had moments where she's been addicted to otc sleep aids, basically benadryl).

Her addiction has been off and on for about 10 years, since I was a small child basically (I'm 20 now). basiccccally, a couple years we sold our house and had to move into an apartment and ever since then my mom's been complaining about the size of the apartment, and she just hates it.

my concern is... i quit college after my first year and eventually moved back home earlier this year, during my time here... i realized something and in my right conscience can not leave. I told my mom countless serious talks, that i want her to get help that I'm here for her, that she can recover and i will help her but she needs to accept it and get help and actually try, that recovery isn't easy its the opposite but she needs someone she can trust that supports her, and i will be that person. she understands and is fine for a couple of days afterwards but then she's back at it again, and its easy to tell because she will not be coherent - slurred speech, glossy small eyes, mumbling nonsense, doesnt wear pants, doesnt talk normally.

and sometimes she will pick up my younger sister from school like this or drive her around (she is 13) and it is incredibly dangerous, she swerves in other lanes, doesnt stop in time at red lights (stops nearly halfway in the intersection), and reckless behavior. because of this, i always go with her and tell her she needs to stay home or let me drive, and if she drives i have no problem calling 911 right there because this is child endangerment.

at home, she is so "drugged up" that all she will do is cook and then go back to sleep, and today i had a long talk with her about it and all she said "i cook and clean what MORE DO I NEED TO DO?! If I'm such a bad mom then lock me up! i do everything i need to, what more do i need to do??? cook MORE?? clean MORE??" and i keep telling her thats NOT the point, she doesnt need to cook or clean but just be a MOM and be awake and normal just be healthy.

I can't continue with this. I told her today during our long talk, that because of her i can't do anything. i can't go back to school (even if i wanted to which i dont), i can't move out (do want to do) because i can't let my sister go through what i went through. i dont have a job, and nobody tells me to get a job, but my mom today said that she sleeps because she doesnt want to deal with all the money problems and my father (who is verbally abusive when he's mad to everyone except my sister when he's mad - primarily to me and my mom).

I'm going to contact her physician (also mine) and tell him everything that's been happening, and I know he has HIPPA but if anyone is prescribing her something it is him, and I'm hoping that maybe he can guide me to someone who can help. we are close, in that i feel comfortable around him, and he remembers a lot about me and seems to genuinely care. besides that... what else can i do? what should i do? is talking to her doctor even a good idea?

sometimes i wonder if she's even on meds, or if she has a mental condition (that makes her act like this)... because most of the time she vehemently denies she's on anything, but how can she change so drastically from day to day? and i know, I'm a young adult (20) and i need to get started on my future, i have a wonderful man who is waiting for me to go live with him (where i was after i quit school and before i moved back home) but i can't leave my sister here in this condition, she has food and its a luxury apartment all the basic things to survive and be clean etc but the lack of support, love, care and normalcy in this toxic environment is really the point here. i've told my mom everything and more but she just doesnt change, so i want to do something. i dont have a job, and i know whatever job i get now would not be enough to support my family if my mom gets a divorce (we all want that), and i dont want to resort to weird sketchy jobs, but i just can't let this go on any longer.

[Skeezyks]

Hello till: I'm sorry you find yourself in such a difficult situation. Unfortunately I don't know if there is much of anything you can do here beyond what you've already thought of. Speaking with your mother's, & your, doctor is a good idea I think. He can't talk to you about your mother. But I don't know of any reason why he can't listen to what you have to say. It also makes sense to call the police if your mother is endangering herself, your sister, & others on the road with her driving. Of course, where you live makes a big difference here too. Laws vary from one place to another.

The only other thing I can think of would be, if there is a child protection agency where you live, probably a governmental agency... possibly county or state, you could try calling them particularly given the driving situation. But again, depending on where you live, that might not result in much of anything or it could end up being the "atomic weapon" of actions, so to speak. It's not something to be taken lightly. I'm afraid that's the only other thing I can think of. Your mother is an adult. And she has the right to make her own decisions... including bad ones. If she simply won't deal with whatever's going on with her, whether it is some form of addiction or perhaps some undiagnosed medical condition, there's probably not much you can do to force her, I don't believe. My best wishes to you though...