[sinking]

I drink every day at night after i come home from work. sometimes even during the weekend if i want to relax and stop the thoughts.

sometimes, while getting home, i feel like crying from the relief in knowing i'll get to drink.

i wouldnt know how to quantify it. i dont drink enough to vomit, just enough to feel dizzy. the effects usually last for 2-4 hours.

i do it because i deserve it. a little break from life....

i feel i need it but i guess i could do without it if i decide so. i could take pills instead of that, or SH.... just to relax myself, because my job is stressing and i need and deserve something to chill out.....

would you say im an alocholic? how would you define me or an alcohloic?

[CelestialFlame]

Sounds like it. You’re dependent on it even if you don’t think you are.

I agree with CelestialFlame. You are dependent upon a substance to alter your mood.

[ArchieAus]

Here's my experience sinking.
I work long hours in a reasonably stressful job . For about 15 years when I come home I have 3-4 beers every worknight . On a Saturday I will have at least 8 . I've done this to relieve stress and I like a drink . I have to read 0.0 blood alcohol level at 6a.m. Every work morning as a job requirement and am tested every day . So a problem with drinking ? Don't think so .
For some time I've felt quite drained , haven't slept well , get quite irritable at work , also the small amounts of alcohol I've been drinking have been effecting me quite a lot more recently and I haven't been processing them well . 4 beers and I'm feeling drunk . 8 beers and I'm waking up with a hangover and missing bits of the night before .
So even though I drink every night I don't class myself as an alcoholic , but I started to wonder about the cumulative effect of drinking every day for 15 years .
So three weeks ago I decided to stop and just have a couple on a sat night . Within days I was sleeping better , waking up refreshed . My attitude improved at work , I felt happier and less stressed . I had more energy . When I did have 5 beers on the sat nights I processed it much better , didn't feel drunk and woke up fine .
I don't think I was an alcoholic , and possibly your not either , but drinking every day , I'm done with that . I thought it was helping my attitude , it was the beer why I needed the beer .

[ArchieAus]

P.S . Instead of those 4 beers after work now , I take my dog for a walk . Now that relieves the stress just fine for both of us .

[sinking]

Thanks for your answers...

and how do you know when you need help?

[Guiness187055]

I was once told. If you think you have a problem then you probably do.

[UpDownAround]

Originally Posted by sinking

Thanks for your answers...

and how do you know when you need help?

I don't think alcohol is the root cause, since you talk about relieving stress and mention SH as a possibility. SH is a red flag to me that there is more going on than just stress. I think you need to talk to a therapist to get help with what's driving you to feeling like you need that kind of relief.

[sinking]

Thanks... im done with therapy, but was just wondering if im putting my job at risk, cause oftentimes i feel like drinking before or even during work... im using anti anxiety meds at the mom, but its not the same. I long to let myself go, just go..

You wrote that you feel like drinking before or even during work. Do you drink before or during work?

[sinking]

I did in my previous two/three jobs, but not now... not yet considering i've been hired for only 3 months now. But i feel like doing it a lot. I use other pills(prescribed) to alterate my state

Here is the medical definition for Alcoholism: https://medical-dictionary.thefreedi...com/alcoholism

It's not illegal to drink at work but if your company has rules that say no drinking it will probably get you fired if you are caught. I don't know what you do for a living but you could be putting yourself and perhaps others at risk of injury or death while you are working under an altered state of mind. My ex boyfriend was an alcoholic, and a general surgeon (before I met him). He lost his medical licence due to his alcoholism. I don't know if he ever performed surgery while under the influence but it's scary to think that he might have.