Alcoholism

I feel for you LucyD. I had an alcohol habit until my son pointed out to me that my eyes "looked funny" when I drank. This could happen after a couple drinks. I looked at myself finally and saw what he meant. If my son hadn't pointed it out I would have never quit. I don't handle alcohol well as I get drunk quickly. That was a long time ago and I still miss a nice glass of wine. If I were ever to go back to it (I won't) I would enjoy the flavor not the effect. I guess that means less than 1 glass. But I'm off the stuff for good.

I don't know what the issue with prescribing Campral...it WORKS....

My problem with Campral was it WORKS and so I would just decide not to take it for a couple of days because I was thinking of drinking....

I am in the same place you are...quit 8 years...started again 4 years ago....I did have 10 months last year...and then I got in a big fight with my sister and I drank..and 2 days later SHE DIED...and I drank more and more.

Now I'm like you 2 weeks is the most I can go....this time it was a day short of one week.

I drank about 9 beers last night..and feel like crap today...and does that make me not want to drink again? Nope..It makes me want to hydrate...take care of myself and at least NOT drink today....

I had a problem with going on "benders"....where I because I drank last night the first thing I used to do in the morning was drink to avoid the hangover...this led to days of drinking and wreaking havoc on my body....and so I think I"m doing good by not drinking TODAY after drinking last night.

I don't know how to stop except....JUST DONT DRINK ONE DAY AT A TIME...and it works...but I always give in and drink when I am overwhelmed with life.

Lucy- I think its great that you have your last drink on your calender.
I use a sobriety calculater which helps me.

I hope you're doing ok, LucyD. Remember that you're stronger than yoy think. You've got this. I'm sure you can make it. Remember that we're here for you to support you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

what about haltob???
hungry, angry, lonely, tired, overwhelmed, bored.
think this covers a lot of territory.
bizi

I am sorry to hear of others' issues with AA. I too felt the same way after trying it four times but I kept relapsing. I decided this last time that all those people cant be that crazy and they are sober. So I went on 12/12/13 and that was my first sober day. Sure, I judged and had personalities that bugged me. I learned a lot on how to deal with people. The previous times it didnt work were because I did not get a sponsor or really do the written work on the steps. That is what helped me clear out the clutter. I do not practice christianity so when I would hear of someone who found church or Jesus I just tuned them out. My higher power is purely spiritual and does not revolve around a god, man in the sky, holy mother or any other sort of magical thinking. But I agree, AA isnt for everyone. I just look at it like, if you are doing it your way, why not try this way even if its for the umpteenth time. Its not working for you now this way. Re: treatment. My daughter who is 18 ran away in march and ended up coming home an addict. We got her into rehab and the rehab flew her to Florida. We only had to fly her home because she did not want to live in Florida. I do not know how your insurance works but I know many rehabs that will get you there. Its worth looking into. I believe you need medical detox. I should have had medical detox, I was drinking 3 large bottles of wine a day, but I didnt know any better. I believe the only reason I didnt have a seizure is because I was on lamictal. I had fatty liver disease and my enzymes were out of whack. A year after when I got a physical they were all restored to normal. Quitting on my own was brutal and I do not think I could survive doing it again. Physically with the shakes and physical symptoms and then the mental brokenness might just kill me if I have to do it again.

I have had four people in my AA network die as a direct result of alcoholism and it is NOT pretty. It is miserable and painful and disgusting. These people all had alcohol related issues but kept drinking. They ended up in care facilities sh*tting and pissing on themselves. Seeing things, tremors, neurological impairments. They couldnt walk right. One woman who I was close with relapsed for the last time and took her own life. I can assure you that you will die if you do not stop. And you do not want to die that way. Hospitals do not always have the compassion they should for alcohol withdrawl and related illnesses. They look at it a lot as being your own fault. Organ transplant lists are not favorable to alcoholism either, you are definitely not at the top of the list. I have been to more viewings and funerals as an alcoholic than I have in my whole life. Mostly overdoses but also alcoholism. I do believe it can kill you.

It's true that AA may not be perfect but It's helped me stay sober over eight years now and I really did not want to get sober. But for those of you who have issues about AA there's a saying 'take what you need and leave the rest' It's the only way to cut thru all the other nonsensical BS