[chalmette70043]

What is your concept of the higher power from step 2?

thanks
chalmette

[Raynaadi]

I know I've already told you but I didn't want to leave a post unanswered, so I'll start lol.

I don't know what my higher power is. I just know that I believe in something greater than myself and alcohol. Sometimes I believe its my good conscience, sometimes I think it can't be a part of me at all. For me, I have my own higher power thats just mine. And my higher power can't control everything in the world, my higher power just guides me. And when I'm interracting with others, my higher power interacts with the others' higher powers. For me, its just a belief that I'm being taken care of if I trust in my higher power. When I have a decision to make, I ask for guidence. When I get the crazy thought that a drink might be a good idea, I ask my higher power to remove that from me and guide me to doing the next right thing. When I'm agitated, I pause and ask for the next right thought or direction.

I don't know WHAT I'm asking guidence from though. The second step says we came to believe, not came to understand. And not having to understand or being told what to believe, is the only thing that allows me to have faith.

My faith is my own and a personal decision, and I like that.

[chalmette70043]

((((((Rayna))))))

Thank you for sharing that with me. Guess thats what i have to do is stop trying to understand and just believe. Like i believe that one day the Saints will make it to the Superbowl. As much as i've been let down by them, i still believe they will make it.

And Rayna Congrats on your new Job!!!!

[Raynaadi]

Oh I've heard people say that the other alcoholics were their higher power at first too, ie Group Of Drunks - G.O.D. Get it?

Thanks for the congrats!!!!!

[splitimage]

I've been thinking about how to try to answer this post. The closest I can come to describing my higher power is to say that it is nature. When I was a little kid, my mom, who was deeply spiritual, always told me that the sound of the wind in the trees was God talking. When I look around and see all the diversity and beauty in nature I have to believe in a higher power, certainly something's greater than me. I'm still struggling with the idea of prayer and I guess of having a personal higher power that I can lean on, so for now I'm not worrying about it. I start everyday by just asking the universe to help me, and I say thank-you every night for getting through the day without drinking or cutting. Sometimes when I'm meditating I get a warm feeling, like I'm being held and taken care of. I like to think of that being my higher power expressing herself. I definitely think of my higher power in femine terms. I also have trouble with "letting go and letting god..." but that's my own hang up as a control freak, which gets me into a lot of trouble and a fear of putting my trust into something. I know fear holds me back a lot.

One of my favourite books is Mathew Flinder's Cat, by Bryce Courtney, and it deals in part with a long term hard core alcoholic getting sober. He chooses as his higher power a cat (The one from the title) and in one of my favourite parts of the book - he says he hears a cat's voice telling him, that he's just running away again. So I guess I'm trying to say it doesn't matter what your higher power is, as long as you recognize that there is a strength greater than you on your own, that you can rely on.

--splitimage

[Perna]

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splitimage said:
I start everyday by just asking the universe to help me, and I say thank-you every night for getting through the day without drinking or cutting.

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I got tired of thinking of the higher power as "the universe;" it is not even easy to say much less think about (or "converse" with, "Hello, Mr. Universe?" a bit too daunting :-) So I asked "the universe" what to call "It" and woke the next morning with a name in my mind that's much easier to work with :-)