[LiteraryLark]

I'm four months smoke free, but for the past few weeks all I can think about is smoking. I frequently dream every other night about smoking, and I'd go to a store and I imagine asking the clerk for a pack. The stress is insane: coronavirus, brother, school issues, weight gain, money issues, parental issues, best friend issues, romantic interest issues...the list goes on and on.

I don't know what to do. I try to remind myself about the reality...you start with one cigarette and good luck telling yourself there will only be "just one" because then it becomes "one pack" then "one carton". I can't afford cigarettes, and that doesn't bother me. I smell, and everyone hates me smelling, my teeth get messed up, I cough incessantly...its a downward spiral with no good to come of it.

I know the bad outweighs the good, but man, I'd do anything for a smoke because it's driving me insane! What should I do?

[unaluna]

How about the fact that all my boyfriends who smoked are dead and have been dead for like 20 years? They barely made it past 50.

[LiteraryLark]

I caved in and realized I do not miss it or want it. I am strong enough to not to make it a habit because Ive already gone more than four months without it.

It was so nasty and reminded me of everything I hate about smoking: tasted nasty and it lingered in my mouth, I can still smell it in my nostrils and on my hand, and my lungs constricted till it was hard to breathe. It also made me dizzy and nauseous. I didnt even smoke the whole thing.

Nope, not gonna keep smoking, but it was driving me crazy and last night was more than I could handle.