[dorsey555]

Hi everyone,
For the first time in new sobriety, I'm kinda looking forward to taking this first year for my recovery away from trying to date. Maybe I'm a little shell shocked to boot. Anyone wait a year? Did it make a difference in your recovery/relationships?
Dorsey

[Raynaadi]

I waited a year. At first I was thrilled to be single and then after a few months I started wishing someone would like me. When I had just over thirteen months I got back with my ex from before I got sober. It was ok but didn't last. We're still friends today. Then about 3 weeks before my 2 year anniversary, a man from my homegroup asked me out and we've been together ever since.

Our relationship is great. We have our ups and downs but we know how to talk to each other. Through being sober awhile and working the steps, I know myself now, which helps me be a partner.

I've seen relationships start in early sobriety that are still thriving, and I've seen people break up in early sobriety and still stay sober, but the saddest is watching someone go out and use in early sobriety after trying to get into a relationship.

I remember when I was a teen, my mom and Grandma at Grandma's kitchen table telling me that in some point in my life, I should try to live alone for a year, to just be with myself. I didn't do this until I got sober, and I can definitely say I'm grateful for the time I've had on my own. My boyfriend and I move in together next month, and while I'm looking forward to it, I'm gonna miss being on my own too.

[dorsey555]

Hi Raynaadi,
Thanks! I know that I'm doing the right thing waiting. What you shared helped so much.
Dorsey

[tonyebaker]

I waited much more than a year and today I can tell that it was a good thing for me. I was not healthy enough to be sharing my life with someone. Heck, that could still be true and this summer will be 7 years. I had been married 28 years and at first could not imagine even sleeping alone. However, just like so much other, one day at a time I adjusted into a whole new life radically different from my old life and today can not imagine living any other way. I may be single from now on but it seems right for me now at this stage.