Greetings!!

Hello all! My name is Tony and I am an alcoholic. I had written some info in the general category and a couple of viewers invited me to this post (If I got the location right that is).

These days, seems like most people mix alcohol and drugs with all kinds of creative variations. My DOC was Bud Lite (Great taste, less filling, yadda. yadda. yadda) and I drank it 31 years loving every swallow. Considering the above, I may or may not be helpful to this forum but like I said, I was invited here and I came because I am willing to go to any length to stay sober 1 more day. With that said, I am a believer it is our shared experiences that saves lives so I am more than willing to tell my experiences (which are really "The Doctors Opinion" and "Chapter 1") which describe the "Why" and "What Happened" in my life.

I do like to concentrate on the miracle part which is what life has been each day since my last drink. To give the solid foundation and overview....... My sobriety date is July 5th 2001 (I got 2 DUI's that unforgettable day!). Should I make it one day at a time, this coming summer will be 7 years.

I drank for 31 years. My first drink was at the age of 15, May of 1970. The very first drink worked it's magic on me and I knew I had found something I wanted to do everyday for the rest of my life. Even though I am sure I was an alcoholic with that very first drink (and quite possible much earlier), ironically alcohol did not have a negative impact in my life for 29 years. As a matter of fact....... Alcohol was my greatest friend and helped me BE, DO and HAVE whatever I wanted. I thought I was a success. I thought I was loved, admired, respected......... "wanted"......

August 2nd 19999, a day I will never forget, alcohol seemed to turn on me and the next 23 months were the greatest living HELL imaginable. I want go into all of it but by the final 6 months, I was coming to on the ground laying in pools of blood from my nose and mouth. I weighed 137 and in July 2001, as I staggered through some emergency room doors I went into a seizure..... I came to in ICU days later and a doctor informed me that he had written on my chart that I would not survive, that my sodium was so low that I was going to lapse into a coma that first night.

And even with that.......... I don't think anything could have kept me from the next drink except that I was blessed to have 5 grandchildren at that time and when I came to with an IV in each arm and tied to the ICU bed, I realized those innocent babies almost lived with the heritage that their "PawPaw" died drunk tied to a hospital bed. At that thought, I begged God to let me stand up.......... And as they say, the rest is history..... I have not desired a drink since.

So..... You could say I had enough; you could say that God removed the desire to drink........ You could say that I was smart enough to know that 1 more drink would kill me..... I frankly do not know and it is not really important. I just know that I have not needed to drink since then to feel like I "belong here". Life no longer is "uncomfortable" for me. I can not explain any more than that except to say....... For 31 years alcohol was my only answer and since July 5th 2001, no matter what happens, alcohol is never the answer.

Yes..... All the chapter 1 stuff happened. I was married 28 years to a woman I absolutely adored and we had a wonderful life. Folks........ Spouses can only take so much. She finally left in those final 6 months and yes, that hurt and yes, I had to get sober with her loss but that's LIFE! Yep..... I had a fantastic career job of over $100K and plumeted to a gutter drunk, completely broke. Yep.... The house, the cars, the...... STUFF...... all gone...... I wound up in a small bedroom at my 74 year old mothers for the first year. THANK GOD FOR MOTHERS! Three years later and sober..... I cared for that lady her final two years on earth as she dealt with Alzheimers and I was the only living family left. And you think God does not exist or have a plan?

The days since have been a magical adventure. No...... I have not put a "normal" life back...... I bounce from job to job, relationship to relationship..... Hell, even town to town sometimes but my life is an adventure and my story seems to have effect in AA meetings. I seem to care much more about making very little and seeing if I can spread some inspiration rather than buying a nice car or house.

I have no idea what the future holds and it is not really important. I've never gone hungry, I'm never short of friends and I am never LONELY!

God Bless You ALL!!!!
Tony

Welcome to the recovery forum, and thanks for sharing your story. It's amazing how far down we can go when alcohol gets a hold of us. I lost the 100K plus job too and am still struggling to get back into the workforce. But I realize now that I could never have gotten sober while I was still working, and I'm grateful that I found sobriety before I killed myself. I'm still newish to the program - I had 8 months sober before relapsing in November, but I'm back to working the program now, and taking it one day at a time.

---splitimage

Congrats! Their is another way of looking at it and I often remind myself of this......

"By some devine miracle, I have been sober all day up until now and if I keep doing what I have been told to do, perhaps I will make it to bed tonight sober giving me the chance to wake up sober tomorrow".

I don't know about you but I have seen a lot of days that the above was more than I could accomplish.

Thanks for your thoughts.
Tony

Welcome Tony!!!!

I'm getting ready for work so I don't have much time to write, but I wanted to say I'm so glad you're here. Tuesday evenings we have a recovery chat. Its not a structured meeting, we just come together and talk about what we need to talk about. I always post something in the reminder thread, and there's a link to see what time it is in Tucson where I live, and I start it at 7pm Tucson time. Hope to see you some time!!!

Hi Tony,

thank you for sharing your life experiences with us. I have also lost a lot because of alcohol and drugs. The biggest thing I almost lost was myself. I am glad that you thought of your grandkids and that helped you to reach down deep and work towards recovery. You are somebody they can be proud of...

You are going to be great to have around this forum and in chat...I look forward to hearing more from you.

Hi, the stories and experiences we live through are indeed quite similar. I honestly believe that is where the power and miracle of AA and other group therapy situations comes from. Everyday I thank God for the people that were in AA the day I walked into my first meeting. I will never forget a lady that came quickly across the room with a braod smile and her hand outreached to shake my hand. In her other hand was a "new comers" packet that many AA groups put together (phone numbers and names, meeting times, etc). They made me feel like I belonged, that I was welcome and infact that they understood and loved me. They did and it was genuine. Today.... many of those people are now gone from this life and they died sober. I have attended funerals and I assure you until you have been to an AA funeral, you are truly missing something. You can walk on the "Love" that is present there. The "Acceptance" of all of life issues with AA'ers is remarkable. Yeah, we "loose" a lot with our experiences but what I have gained is priceless and if I had to go through it a hundred times to get to where I am today, well it would be worth it. Thanks for post, Tony