[thunderbear]

I relapsed. On Vicodon. Again. I know it's bad for me. But yesterday I was moving a T.V. and pulled my back so my friend gave me 2 Vicodon 10's and I took them and now I want more. I only took them to help my back, but now I know I should of just dealt with the pain because I want more Vicodon and I can't get any. It's a good thing I'm broke cause if I was'nt I know I would spend all my money on Vicodon. I'm so frustrated now. I wish I could take a non- narcotic like Ultram for my pain but I am allergic to NSAIDs. Ok I will leave y'all alone now just had to get that off my chest. I would'nt dare tell my family and it's nice to be able to tell someone.

[kami2008]

((((((((thunderbear))))))) sorry to hear you pulled your back.

as regards the Vicodon...please don't beat yourself up over that, you were in pain and done what comes natural...took a way to relieve the pain.

can you just count tomorrow as a new day? and if needs be..,if your back still hurts...can you maybe go to the doc or the hosp for proper help you wont feel guilty over?

Lotsa love, care and peace to you,
kami

[DePressMe]

Well, this is just my opinion, but I don't think I would consider you taking the Vicodon as a relapse. But, I am in no way whatsoever in a place to say what is right or wrong for you and your recovery. It is just my opinion.

From the way I see it if you hurt your back and took them because you needed relief from the pain, then that is a valid reason to take the Vicodon. Yes, it would probably be easier to justify if you got them from your doctor instead of a friend, but you still took them because of an injury. Now, if you took them just for the high, that would be another story. So, maybe you should not be so hard on yourself. Maybe you don't need to start with a new sobriety date. It is all dependent on how you feel about it.

But, no matter what the reason was for you taking the Vicodon and no matter if you decide to call it a relapse or not, what is important now is what you do about your drug cravings that have been brought to life.

What do you usually do when you have cravings? Posting here is a good move--keep posting about how you are managing it. I also try to get my thoughts focused on recovery by reading recovery literature.

Even if we have a valid reason for taking medications like Vicodon, we are still sometimes hounded by intense drug cravings that "normal" people don't seem to experience. It is true, one is never enough for me! I always want more!

It sounds like you already know that getting more Vicodon is not a good idea and will cause nothing but trouble for you. Stick with that thought. Don't give in to the notion that since you already "relapsed" you might as well take some more drugs. For me, there is no reason that is good enough to warrant me abusing drugs and running the risk of ruining my life.

I know how horribly demanding drug cravings can be, but I also know that they will always pass and I will survive. I may not enjoy feeling them, but I will live through them. Lean on your support network and work your recovery program. Hopefully, the intense cravings will not last too long. Hang in there.