Recovery is possible!

This is, of course, for anyone who wants to read... But it's especially for addicts or family of addicts who want to help them. I hope maybe this will shed some light for you.

For those who haven't read, I'm an addict and alcoholic. Many of us who use or have used get to a point in our addiction where it's no longer fun to get high and/or drink. It has passed that point and gotten to where we do it because we NEED it in order to feel normal. We want help, but we're too scared of the unknown... The unknown of 'what if i relapse', 'what if it doesn't work', 'what if I can't take it?'... So many what ifs run through our mind that we scare ourselves out of getting the proper help we need and continue to use to function. It doesn't have to be that way...

Granted, rehab isn't easy. It takes time and A LOT of will power to get clean and/or sober, but it IS possible if you really want it. I remember when I first started getting clean, I had such bad withdrawals from the drugs I was using that I felt like I was really dieing. I had tremors, cold sweats, puking my guts up, running high fevers, and the list goes on... But I PROMISE you that it is so worth it. The physical withdrawal (sickness) only lasts between a week and two weeks, depending on how heavy and how long you used. After that it becomes more psychological than anything, which is where support group comes in. In the groups, you're in a room with people who have experianced what you have went through if not worse and understand what you are going through. They share their experiances in active drug addiction, where it took them and what it took for them to get serious about getting clean. It's hard for a lot of people to open themselves to people they don't even know, but these people have been there. They are there to support you; not judge you. The Big Book (NA and AA book) tells us that in order to get clean and/or sober, we first have to WANT it. We then have to take ourselves away from the PEOPLE and SURROUNDINGS that brought us to drugs to begin with. We have to believe in something/someone Higher than ourselves... That doesn't always mean God, so for those who don't believe in God, please don't let that 'Higher Power' scare you away from treatment. The Big Book states that by Higher Power, it means something or someone higher than you... What helps you through really hard times? Is it music, writing, prayer, what? Whatever that Higher Power FOR YOU is, then that's what matters. It has to be something/someone positive. We can't have a Higher Power as our guidance when we are trying to get away from it (drugs/alcohol).

Question: When we drink or do drugs, we usually end up in some scary situations, right? We do things we wouldn't normally do outside of drugs and we say things we wouldn't regularly say. Let's say someone comes up to you and threatens to kill you or steal from you, or they even beat you up really bad. What would your first reaction be? You'd probably get very angry at that person and retaliate, right? But why? They are only doing the same thing to you that you are doing to yourself everyday. Drugs and alcohol is a downward spiral. The high is great, but the consequences aren't. Some of us land in jail, hospitals, have our kids taken away from us, lose jobs, friends, family, and sometimes we end up losing our life. Is all of that REALLY worth a temporary high that is damaging your body and mental health in more ways than we even realize? Think about it.

Once we realize we have a problem, we can no longer use excuses to support our addiction. We can no longer use the excuses of our past, or how our home life is, or how we just want to feel 'good' so we use. Once we realize we have an addiction, those excuses are no longer valid. When we realize something like that, we get HELP for it... Using isn't HELPING the situation, it is deepening the damage that has already been done. Once we can start being honest with ourselves, we can be honest with those around us and put our disease in remission... Yes, addiction is a DISEASE. Why? Because as addicts, one drink is not enough... One hit of dope is not enough. We have to have more and more to get that same high. We can't socially drink or use drugs and it stop there. By completely dropping the drug and alcohol use, you are putting your disease in remission. It can not flare back up and become active unless you allow it to by taking that first sip of alcohol or doing that first hit of dope. Then the cycle begins again. Therefore, it is a disease... We will always be addicts, but that doesn't mean we have to be active addicts. It is nothing to be ashamed of and it is definately worthy of praise when you speak up and want to get it under control. You are the one who controls your body, not the drugs.

I'm not going to sugar coat this and say it's a walk in the park, because it's not. It is one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make and 55 days into recovery, I still struggle. Aside from withdrawls, most of us start out in recovery with a 'boring' life compared to what we had grown to know... All of our so called friends aren't around anymore, we don't have many places we can go to have fun because the places we know are places full of drugs and/or alcohol. All of this is part of the process of beginning a new life... Our life was slowly ending each and everyday by our drug usage. The day we stop using is the day we start living. In time, it does get easier though. We begin to make new friends who aren't addicts or alcoholic and we do find things to do that are fun that doesn't consist of using or drinking. We begin to feel alive again and can face the world on our own without a substance blocking us. It's a feeling of empowerment and it's such a humbling experiance. Please take all of this information into consideration. I have no reason to lie to you about how easy or how hard recovery is... I'm still going through it myself. So when I say living a drug-free life is worth all of those painful withdrawls and lonely feelings in the end, I sincerely mean it. You just have to want it... Now it's all been laid on the table for you to pick up. Are you ready to start a new beginning? Or do you want to continue down a self-destructive path will eventually kill you if you don't put a stop to it. The choice lies in your hands...

Disclaimer: There are many alternative programs that work with drug addicts and alcoholics. AA and NA 12- Step programs are not for everyone. This was a post to share my personal experiance with recovery and how it has helped me. I do believe that if you are determined enough to get clean, AA and NA is at least worth the shot of trying to see if it works for you as well. I chose my words to the best of my ability and I apologize if I have offended anyone by anything that I have said in this post.

Amen Bamasurvivor,

No truer words were ever spoken. I hope you keep wanting it.

May your Higher Power give you serenity, courage, and wisdom.
take care.

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