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#1
Jan 17, 2009, 03:52 PM
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I havnt been here in a while,but ive really been going through some tuff times over christmas.Christmas is not one of my favorite times of the year.30 sum years of abuse,this is the hardest thing ive ever done.Iam on a rollercoaster every day,but it seems to get easier.Im just trying to hang in there,so far so good.The hardest thing is dealing with all the stupid things i have done,and all of the things that have been done to me.Alot of baggage,guess it is time to move on.I find it very hard at times, so alone,but that is what im use to and seems to be what i like.At least my suicidal tendancies seem to have dissipated some what.Im staying positive and actually looking forward to the future.No family (i scrapped them),no more freinds(they where all users)Looking forward to meeting some new freinds.Tell you something,between being abused,abandoned,being bi-polar,and having major substance abuse problems,i am still a compassionate ,thoughtful caring personwho holds no grudges on anybody no matter how much hurt these people have caused me.Staying positive, looking forward, and finally moving on after 42 years.
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#2
Jan 17, 2009, 04:33 PM
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i'm very happy for you, fellow traveler, it will be the absolute best thing you'll do for yourself in your entire life. why do i say that? if we're not clean and sober we don't nor ever will have a life. as a matter of fact we can lose our life due to this terrible disease. taking "a day at a time" really helps me a lot. "easy does it".
d/a can wreak havoc in our lives...sounds like you've figured that out and are starting your life all over...good for you!  we're all here to support you.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#3
Jan 17, 2009, 04:47 PM
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Your never alone when you help someone. Your post here has. Friends are made with the giving of self.
The decision to change has many anchors from the past...let them go...and celebrate the decision you have made to change your life... I congratulate you and encourage you to continue on..  With care, Lenny
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I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them.... Sobriety date...Halloween 1989. I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one... |
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