[Balrog]

My Mother is an alcoholic and I have not spoke to her for nearly 3 years now and like any son I would would like things to be different but there you go I had to walk away for my sanity.
My sister still has contact with my mother but she has no contact any more with me.
My mother has had a drink problem for over 30 years and I'm amazed that she is still alive it's probably spite that keeps her going,anyway I'm waffling.
The crux of the matter is my daughter is getting married soon and I suggested that we invite my mother and sister because everyone on both sides of the family will have members of their own family line there apart from me.My daughter and wife were horrified that I even suggested it because of past family troubles that have happened at gatherings where my mother had attended and caused bother.
I had suggested she be invited and would have set conditions on her behaviour but my daughter said no and i understand why but it still hurts that at an inportant family occasion some members have to be excluded because of drink problems,it still hurts

[childhoodtimes]

Originally Posted by Balrog

My Mother is an alcoholic and I have not spoke to her for nearly 3 years now and like any son I would would like things to be different but there you go I had to walk away for my sanity.
My sister still has contact with my mother but she has no contact any more with me.
My mother has had a drink problem for over 30 years and I'm amazed that she is still alive it's probably spite that keeps her going,anyway I'm waffling.
The crux of the matter is my daughter is getting married soon and I suggested that we invite my mother and sister because everyone on both sides of the family will have members of their own family line there apart from me.My daughter and wife were horrified that I even suggested it because of past family troubles that have happened at gatherings where my mother had attended and caused bother.
I had suggested she be invited and would have set conditions on her behaviour but my daughter said no and i understand why but it still hurts that at an inportant family occasion some members have to be excluded because of drink problems,it still hurts

While i'm reading this it makes me sad turning into crying and you are such a good father. Well for me it is not right to exclude one of the most important people in your family such as your Mother in a one of the greatest events in your daughter's life such as marriage. First of all let's ask ourself what is the reason why we need to have an attendees or witnesses in a Marriage? It is because to have a person who can help them build their relationship binds in to a christianic way of living and also to help them not only financially but also spiritually and to exclude your mother is really a great mistake thinking that your daughter do not want your mother to become a witness to their marriage in Christ and that is a theological explanation as a Christian.

based on my understanding on your text your mother is not that so very closed to your family and that is why maybe your daughter only saw the bad things of your mom in the past events caused to bother. But then you and me believe that there are also alot of good things that your mother have.

For me there are always a reason to contact your mother if you really wanted to. I suggest that before anything else you must need to talk to your mom since it is been a long time since the last time you talk to her. It is better say to her the do's and don'ts and of course the moderation of alcoholic addiction is a must. I think this time your mother will listen and he knows her limits.

[Soidhonia]

I am sorry for the loss at your daughters wedding that all of your family
Can Not be present. I am sure that you are very hurt by what has transpired in the past is still being reflected in your relationship with your own family at this time. I hope in time that things get better for you and your family, since having a family that is divided is one of the worst torments emotionally, and I hope all goes well with the wedding. Take care. Soidhonia

[northern]

Be true to yourself and that of couple being married! It is after all their day and not your's or any of your family members special day etc.......it is their!!!!!

Your daughter is your main concern and you are her father, be there for her and not for anyone else.................

Be there for her on her special day and bugger the rest of the family, as this I am sure, that is what she would want, and has a right to expect from you!

Drama of past family ******** is not part of the marriage celerbrations and should never be part of her special day..

Just my take on life and my own marriage where my father was not welcome from some of the family etc.