I really hate alcohol!!

I wasn't sure where to put this thread because I wasn't really a child of an alcoholic - meaning my mother wasn't one. But I did have 2 brothers who had problems especially the oldest one who eventually took his own life with alcohol poisonning. My mother did occasionally binge drink and I remember as a child hating how drunk people act. Since my brothers were much older than me, as a child I remember seeing them under the influence.

I grew up really resenting what alcohol does to people and I was determined never to turn out like my other family members. In my late teens and early 20's I would occasionally drink 1 or 2 drinks but I never really liked it, so I quit it completely. I never drink and I wish it was never invented. We're small business owners and at Christmas we get bottles of alcohol and it was building up in our house. I heard that the liquor stores would give credit on unopened bottles so I made my husband remove all the liquor except for a couple of bottles in case company comes.

I was just wondering if this is normal to actually hate alcohol like this and hate it's existence. Do alcoholic tendancies run in families genetically speaking or do the chances increase because of the environment the children grow up in. Are my own girls at risk of becoming alcoholics because of my family history??

I think both are factors. In my case it definitely is in the bloodline. The interesting thing is I too hated it because of what it did to my parents and swore I would never pick up a bottle. Unfortunately, someone I loved passed on several years ago and something snapped so I picked up a bottle and drank hard. I am recovering from that nonsense now and rarely keep alcohol around.

Your girls however are likely to avoid alcohol because of the example you’ve set. Best wishes to you and your family.

Risk factors
Mayo Clinic

Steady drinking over time can produce a physical dependence on alcohol. Drinking more than 15 drinks a week for men or 12 drinks a week for women increases the risk of developing dependence on alcohol. However, drinking by itself is just one of the risk factors that contribute to alcoholism. Other risk factors include:

• Age. People who begin drinking at an early age — by age 16 or earlier — are at a higher risk of alcohol dependence or abuse.
• Genetics. Your genetic makeup may increase your risk of alcohol dependency.
• Sex. Men are more likely to become dependent on or abuse alcohol than are women.
• Family history. The risk of alcoholism is higher for people who had a parent or parents who abused alcohol.
• Emotional disorders. Being severely depressed or having anxiety places you at a greater risk of abusing alcohol. Adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder also may be more likely to become dependent on alcohol.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/alc...t&DSECTION=all

Having looked at the phenomena of alcohol from personal experience and from a yearning to learn as much about it as I could factually, I like this quote from the Mayo Clinic. One thing that comes to mind is that in Indian country (Native American) where I am from, it is common knowledge that the Native American has a predisposition to have difficulty with alcoholism due to their genetic makeup.

Also an interesting thing that comes to mind for me is, in view of the fact that my parents were both alcoholic and often brought their friends home for "drinking parties" for which myself and my siblings served as waiters and waitresses, I remember vividly the stench of beer and liquor on my hands and swore I would never touch the stuff.

Ironically, Claudia Black, one of the first psychologists to every write a book on the subject of the Adult Child of Acoholic Parents, titled it It Will Never Happen to Me. Well, unfortunately, it did happen to me. After about 16 years of drinking, I went to AA and quit.

It's a strange mixture of factors that enter into the abuse of alcohol. But it usually has something to do with avoidance.

I think a big fear of mine is - it could happen to me. I thinks that's why I don't want to ever touch it and I don't like the feeling of it. Thanks to all who have responded so far.
(((MickG)))
(((TheByzantine)))
(((Vickie In Phoenix)))

I think alcohol is disgusting, it stinks and turns good people into wild animals.... I'll never drink that crap. I believe alcoholism is a choice and does not run in the family.... Peer pressure to drink is a bad one though.... Lynn, I think your girls will be fine, teach them about alcoholism and why it's bad.

It's feels good to know you hate it as much as I do. If you really think of it -alcohol is a poison and that's why it affects the brain. It's the same with cigarettes - why were things like alcohol and cigarettes ever allowed?? Imagine how many billions would be saved on health care if there wasn't alcohol or cigarettes. Imagine how there would not be so many wounded souls in the world. Thanks for your post Jay

You're right, alcohol is a poison, if you drink enough you die.... and quite possibly with other innocent people too. The government makes to much money from alcohol and cigarette taxes, that's why they are allowed and why they will never be band.... So the government takes part of the blame as well. Government + alcohol + cigarette = Pure evil. They'll never take me, I'm to smart for that.

I think alcohol is evil. It causes serious health problems to people who drink and reduces their life expectancy as well as their quality of life. And don't even get me started about alcohol related auto accidents. It always seemed so unfair to me when I was a paramedic that the sober people were nearly always more seriously injured than the drunks because the drunks usually drove faster which impacted their momentum.

I really do not get why the FDA has not classified alcohol as a class I drug (one with no medicinal use). But I understand the FDA is revamping how they class drugs so that might not be the most current term. Yeah sure a single glass of red wine can help your heart but how about some grape juice instead? I understand the prohibition problems and all but I can see absolutely no reason to allow alcohol to be sold. (Except taxes, shhhhh)

At least cocaine actually has a valid medicinal use. I was in the ED when we got a guy with a single bullet wound to the face and the doc used cocaine to numb his mucous membranes so he could assess him.

You're right (((Yoda))) alcohol is evil and I can never understand how a person can drink and drive. It is so creepy the way drunk drivers end up with less injury in car accidents. I really dislike being around drunks. I can also smell it a mile away.

Good point (((Jay))) about the government never banning it because of taxes - they would be broke.

Lynn

I feel the same as you. Words can't describe how much I hate alcohol and what it does to people.

Back in the 60s when my mother was having trouble with neuropathy, her doctors told her to drink wine at night to "calm her nerves." She became a hopeless and angry drunk. It never calmed a thing - it only made life a living hell for all of us.

My guard automatically goes up if a person appears drunk or slurs their words. It disgusts me.

What angers me most is all the marketing and glorification of alcohol, even by professionals who should know better. When I'd see doctors touting the benefits of beer or red wine, it infuriates me.

Due to the amyloidosis, I already live with a lot of pain and have trouble sleeping. Out of respect for my kidneys and liver, I don't take pain meds. I can't imagine ever turning to alcohol to relieve anything in my life. It never has, and it never will.

Hi, Lynn P

Sorry, I read your post some time ago but just was not in a place to be able to respond at the time. I hope it's okay to respond now.

First, I want to say that I get that you "really hate alcohol!".

Just unravelling what you wrote, I guess for me, when you state that your Mom 'binge drank' that would constitute enough of a reason to call yourself an adult child, however it would be up to her to decide if she is an alcoholic or not. For yourself, if her binge drinking had an effect on your life then yes, you can definately claim that you are an adult child.

I'm terribly, terribly sorry to hear of your brother's passing due to this devastating disease. It is so hard to imagine that it can take so many lives. Even though you seem to be writing in the past tense about your Mom, you still may benefit from attending an Alanon Group. In Alanon we talk about the the disease of alcoholism rather than the alcohol itself. And we try to talk about ourself/ves in relation to the effects of the disease rather than the alcoholic.

It does appear that you have been greatly affected by the disease and I just want to extend hope to you, that you can find some peace in the midst of the consequences of those drinking around you. The smell of alcohol, the behavior of the drinkers around you, past and present and the devastation of losses in your life can be put into perspective by giving this gift of Alanon to yourself.

Have you considered this an option?



All the Best to you.

Without a doubt, alcohol is one of the most destructive things anyone can lay their hands on and legal! I can definitly understand why alot of people that have had an alcoholic parent reject alcohol. You have seen the effects of what it can do, the turmoil it brings those around that person. My father was and still is to this day an alcoholic and not once has got help. Ive seen the during and after effects and when I have been drunk myself, I got into some not so good situations. I have not drank for ages now and do not intend to, I intend on staying away from the stuff for good, also because my body cannot literally cope with alcohol, my body is too weak for it. You can have a great time if not a better time with no alcohol.

I know that if I ever started drinking, I'd have a very difficult time stopping. I'm glad I never cared for the taste, with the rare exception of a few drinks throughout my lifetime.
Neither of my parents abused alcohol; however, my daughter did. We live with the result of her drinking every single day in the form of a beautiful 7 year old little boy who has a Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. He has permanent brain damage because of the alcohol that was consumed while his birth mom was pregnant. He's got a 7 year old body, with a 3 to 5 year old brain.

I DO get angry at alcohol. One thing I do with that anger is talk to with people about the effects of drinking while pregnant. It helps me get past that anger and do something productive with it.

Thanks to everyone who responded so far to this thread. Thank you ((Hunny)) for your wonderful post.

(((((LynP))))) you are welcome...there is more healing to come...

(((((BarbGStar)))))

Kudos to you!!!!

My very distraught Mom tried to abort me using alcohol. Tests done recently show there is some brain damage. Having had this 'action' perpetrated upon me in the womb and learning about it much later in life did not allow for any intervention steps to be taken to learn coping mechanisms. I developed a few of my own though, as some will know here.

I have read about some of the advances of those working to prevent fetal alcohol by using education to do outreach and about those who work with the children and young adults and families with fetal alcohol. It is wonderful what helps there are now available albeit prevention is best.

But your statement about your grandson: "a beautiful 7 year old little boy" has truly brought tears to my eyes and I know that this is one of the greatest gifts he could ever receive in his life is this attitude of his caring Grandma.

Thank you for your honesty and your work and for your post here.

Love to all,
Hunny

((((LynnP))))

This is only the second time we have come to this forum as it is hard for us to talk about alcohol. For it played a great role in what we went through as a child. Although I cannot say that I hate alcohol, I do have those within that are terrified. Growing up with an alcoholic mother and a father who drank and who is considered an alcoholic too, alcohol was used to hurt and cause feelings of being drugged and not really knowing what was going on. Between the alcohol and drugs there was no getting away.

Out of six kids, none of us are alcoholics which is amazing it and of itself. Some of my siblings drink but only on occassion. And sometimes I will have one but very seldom as those within hate it. And really we get very scared of people when they drink. We can smell it a mile away.

Alcohol, was always present at family get togethers and my grandpa was an alcoholic too. Whether it runs in families from others being an alcoholic I am not sure. But we have seen the meanness and anger that goes with it. And what it can do to altar your ability to get away when everything is spinning.

Also, when there is a big sporting event, why is it that the commercials surround alcohol? I know big bucks but truly what are we showing our children? My children do not drink but I still have grandchildren that are just starting out and I wonder what their world will be like when they get old enough to make that decision.

I have not talked before about being a child of alcoholics as it brings up so much for me and all within. And it is a very scary place to go. But it thankfully kept me from becoming one. And even though there were times we tried to use it to hurt, it is not something we do now.

Thank you for this post. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

((KathyM))
((Lovelylovely))
((BarbGstar))
((Hunny))
((darkpurplesecrets))

Thank you to everyone who shared their painful and personal stories.

had to reply to your post.

I absolutely detest smelling it on ppl!

I often associate that smell with iminent abuse/violence...

Ugh.

thank you for posting this.

Billi

(((Billi leli)))

Billi leli - same here. I don't even have to smell it on a person. The slurred speech, inability to hold a decent conversation, and irrational judgment give it away.

I'm furious that recent "stress relief" recommendations include taking time out for "happy hour" every day.

A man recently came home a little high and a little tipsy...accidentally placed his infant daughter into the oven - fortunately he didn't turn it on.

A young mother recently decided to fall off the wagon and take time out for "happy hour" - just a little wine - and went missing. First they found her vehicle in the water, then her 8 y.o. son's body washed up on shore the other day. They are still looking for her.

http://www.mynorthwest.com/?nid=11&sid=299736

Doctors, PLEASE tell me again why the daily use of alcohol is good for us and recommended for stress relief?

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hey i know exactly what you mean..i used to hate alcohol as well. i still get pretty angry when i smell it..but now i understand that it's not the alcohol that i should disapprove of, but rather the persons decision to abuse it

Thank you for that post! I despise alcohol, and I will not be around anybody who abuses it anymore!!

(((KathyM)))
(((Moi)))
(((Palmdalegirl)))

Thank to all for sharing your feelings

I don't see any good in alcohol, either.
I grew up terrified of my half-brothers because they came around me when they were drunk. And they were belligerent drunks.
I think that's why I dislike alcohol so much.
I give my husband grief when he tries to have a drink.
I don't feel safe around men who drink.