[SCGirl4Life]

I have been VERY stressed lately and was doing some research and came across this website.
I'm 21 years old and I moved out of my parents house when I was 16. I left due to my father coming in all hours of the night drunk and yelling about anything he could find and would find anything to blame on me. Even after I would make sure he was in the bed and had his shoes and everything in the floor for him to grab the next morning to go back to the bar. I had gotten used to it and just dealt with it since I had been doing this my ENTIRE life.
When I moved out I was pretty happy but still visited to make sure my mom was alright. I lived on my own till about a month ago when my fiance' left me. I had to move back in with my parents since he took EVERYTHING and i had nowhere to go. I really hate that I'm back here and it's just really hard to get back out. I just feel like I have a lot of stuff to let out and just not sure how.

[Leed]

Bless your heart. It's so heartbreaking and difficult to live with alcoholic parents. We get blamed for everything, and if we don't, we have to watch our parents FIGHT about everything. BOTH my parents were alcoholics, and they got drunk every-other night. They had to have one night in between to sober up. LOL But on drunk nights, the fights were AWFUL. My dad would choke my mom, and blacken her eye or fatten her lip. She'd end up on the floor all the time. Us kids didn't know about calling the police, or we would have. I'm surprised the neighbors never did, but that was back when everyone miinded their own business.

More than once I yelled at them to "Be Quiet!" cause we had to get up and go to school --- and they started tryiing to justify their fighting to ME---a mere child!! Even then I thought it funny!

You're going to have to find SOMEWHERE to go. You can't keep living in that atmosphere. It's just not healthy, and you COULD get hurt! A shelter is better than living there --- but you're a girl, so that's out. Don't you have any friends that would let you camp out on the couch? or on the floor? Anywhere? It might not be ideal, but your home life isn't either!

Other than leaving, all I can say is make yourself scarce around the house. Or have a talk with Dad and tell him what it's doing to the family and himself. Right now my son is TRYING to survive after he almost drank himself to death. He's an alcoholic, and his liver quit working -- and as you know, we cannot live without a liver. He was in Critical care for over a month trying to get his blood counts back up and his liver working. It's barely working now, and he's in a physical rehab facility because he couldn't walk due to being so weak. Hopefully I'll be bringing him home after 2 1/2 months either in hospital or the rehab. If he drinks again, he'll die. And your Dad is going to die too if he keeps drinking. Alcohol kills. It's a known fact. Your Dad's liver is probably on it's way OUT. It's probably already damaged to some extent. He should have a liver panel done to see how badly damaged it is.

I wish you the very best. I'll also keep you in my prayers. Will you keep me posted please? God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[MissMaggie]

I also know how scary it can be to live in a home with a violent alcoholic. It's never physical but verbal and emotional abuse, which hurts just as much. As soon as you can, I agree that you need to get yourself out of the situation. The potential for you to get hurt will always be there. For both you and your mom! Your dad needs help, I hope he gets it.. I'm so sorry to hear of the tough hand you've been dealt but stay strong and hang in there. Things WILL get better although you may have to take some initiative. Good luck xo

[pplplser]

> I just feel like I have a lot of stuff to let out and just not sure how.

For many of us just starting to talk about it is the hardest part.

As far as how, I think you just did...

[7thbird]

I have been there, too. My both parents were alcoholics. Both violent, both fighting with each other and blaming me for everything. As a child I tried to run away a few times. First time, when I was 5 years old. In a middle of the night, whilst my mother was trying to kill my father with a meat hammer. I opened the door and escaped to our next door neighbours, and I begged them not to take me back THERE. They did, though. The neighbour would just ask them "will you stop it, please" and he came back leaving me there. Later on, my father used to threaten me, that if I told anybody "anything" he would kill me. He kept locking the door so I could not go out.
I finally managed to leave that hell being 18, but, even then, I kept coming back there for shorter or longer periods of time. Sometimes because I lost my job and could not pay the rent, sometimes because I felt guilty for leaving them (yes, we ACOA feel guilty for nearly everything, even the most ridiculous things).
Only since I moved to another country 8 years ago and I stopped seeing them at all, things started getting better.
I agree with Lee, try to get out of there for any price. It MAY happen, that you will have to come back again another time and another. It may happen that you would feel like giving up. But only those, who never try, never fail. The most important is to fight for yourself, for your own rights and happiness. It will take time but you WILL GET THERE.
I m with you, sending lots of hugs

[SCGirl4Life]

Originally Posted by Leed

Bless your heart. It's so heartbreaking and difficult to live with alcoholic parents. We get blamed for everything, and if we don't, we have to watch our parents FIGHT about everything. BOTH my parents were alcoholics, and they got drunk every-other night. They had to have one night in between to sober up. LOL But on drunk nights, the fights were AWFUL. My dad would choke my mom, and blacken her eye or fatten her lip. She'd end up on the floor all the time. Us kids didn't know about calling the police, or we would have. I'm surprised the neighbors never did, but that was back when everyone miinded their own business.

More than once I yelled at them to "Be Quiet!" cause we had to get up and go to school --- and they started tryiing to justify their fighting to ME---a mere child!! Even then I thought it funny!

You're going to have to find SOMEWHERE to go. You can't keep living in that atmosphere. It's just not healthy, and you COULD get hurt! A shelter is better than living there --- but you're a girl, so that's out. Don't you have any friends that would let you camp out on the couch? or on the floor? Anywhere? It might not be ideal, but your home life isn't either!

Other than leaving, all I can say is make yourself scarce around the house. Or have a talk with Dad and tell him what it's doing to the family and himself. Right now my son is TRYING to survive after he almost drank himself to death. He's an alcoholic, and his liver quit working -- and as you know, we cannot live without a liver. He was in Critical care for over a month trying to get his blood counts back up and his liver working. It's barely working now, and he's in a physical rehab facility because he couldn't walk due to being so weak. Hopefully I'll be bringing him home after 2 1/2 months either in hospital or the rehab. If he drinks again, he'll die. And your Dad is going to die too if he keeps drinking. Alcohol kills. It's a known fact. Your Dad's liver is probably on it's way OUT. It's probably already damaged to some extent. He should have a liver panel done to see how badly damaged it is.

I wish you the very best. I'll also keep you in my prayers. Will you keep me posted please? God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

Lee,
Thanks for the advice. I'm sorry to hear about your son I've seen my dad in the hospital for drinking and it killed me I could only imagine how you feel. There is nowhere I could go..I did have a place but her and her parents decided to move so I had no choice but to come here and I don't really have to many freinds around here because I was so busy trying to take care of everything with me and at least make sure everything seemed okay on the outside of the house. Yeah he's been to jail QUITE a few times for domestic violence and once me and my mom had to go stay with some family for a year or so when I was really young. but I'm trying to hang in there the best I can. Thanks again. And hope your son comes through and doesn't continue to drink. You and him are both in my prayers.