[ktwatts89]

Hi im katie and both of my parents are alcoholics, my dad is now a recovering alcoholic, he hasnt touched a drop for 15 years. He managed to stop when he left my mum. My question is what do you feel is the point when theres a problem?
Because my dad drank all day everyday he would get up at 5am and drink straight away because of this he has a stomach ulcer, the doctor told him the next drink ,could kill him. So he stopped drinking, i remember it being a painful thing to watch, I was about 8 and i held his hand as he lay in bed he looked so pale and he was swating excessively. But he did it. My mum still drinks to the point she doesnt know what she is doing, i have tried to talk to her about it but she says that she doesnt have a problem because she didnt drink like my dad. She drinks about 3 bottles of wine a night, and when she gets depressed she locks herself in her house closes all the curtains turns off her phone and drinks. She says as long as gets up for work in the morning, its not a problem. I feel its a problem what do you think?

[Leed]

Are you over 18 and living on your own? I hope you're not living with your Mom!

Yes, your Mother has a problem. I cannot call her an alcoholic -- only SHE can determine that, but she definitely has a problem. Anyone who drinks 3 bottles of wine a day has a problem. She is also destroying her health and her liver. As you know, alcohol destroys the liver, and we cannot live without a liver. My son is in the hospital as we speak, dying from alcoholism. His liver has stopped working, and they are just trying to keep him comfortable. It's breaking my heart. I pray your mother doesn't end up this way, as it is a horrible death.

There really isn't anything you can do to get your mother to stop. She has to WANT to stop and right now she is in denial. All you can do is pray and hope some time she comes to her senses.

I wish you the very best. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[ktwatts89]

thanku for your help no im not living wiv my mum, im 23 and i live on my own. Im so sorry to hear about your son. That must be devastating, my thoughts go out to you, your son and your family. And I will be praying for you all xx

[Moriah74]

I feel sad for your son Leed!

[Leed]

Thank you Moriah! He's now in a combination nursing home/physical rehab facility. They're tryiing to get him stronger so he can walk & get around so I can bring him home. He's in a "little" better shape than he was. The liver is workiing a little, but not much. It might help him survive for awhile. We'll have to wait and see.

Alcohol IS a killer -- no doubt about it.

Take care all. Hugs, Lee

[marnes]

Hello Leed

Nice to hear about some progress on your son's recovery. Hopefully it would do well.

It's hard to explain to alcoholics about stopping unless they had some complications that they can sense. If they feel something that's what is when they will just stop drinking alcohol.

I also have an alcoholic parent...(I am a recovering alcoholic, too). The term 'alcoholic' is often misconstrued as someone who gets up and drinks first thing in the morning. This is not always the case. An alcoholic is simply someone who abuses alcohol (be it regularly or binge drinking). If alcohol abuse is affecting life (ie. job, family, health, friendships, social situations, finances)...then the person is probably an alcoholic.

BUT, as Leed mentioned, only she can decide if she is one or not. Also, only she can decide to get help and begin recovery...no amount of coercion or encouragment on your part can do this for her. Unfortunately many alcoholics have to hit rock bottom before admiting defeat and getting sober. This, as a child of one is extremely painful to watch. Remember to keep yourself safe. I recommend to never be an audience to her drinking (enabling)!

The most you can do is pray, find support for yourself (here, al-anon, counselling etc.) and show support at any tries at sobriety. Best wishes.

Leed, also, I am so sorry about your son ... Sending positive thoughts during this very hard time.

[SCGirl4Life]

She does have a problem, unfortunately only she can determine the exact type of help she needs and if she was even wanting help. Good luck to you..and I'm glad your dad did quit drinking.