[DaniElizabeth]

All of my life I have struggled with weight. When I was in 6th grade I was overweight, an accident happened that landed me in the hospital they told me that I had almost had a heart attack. They changed my life after that I started played sports in 7th grade and by 8th grade I stopped eating lunch at school and still played sports by 9th grade I was able to skip breakfast and lunch I was losing weight and I stopped playing sports. My parents stopped me from playing sports for no reason. By 10th grade I was able to skip breakfast lunch and dinner. One time I didn't eat for 2 weeks and almost passed out In class. I was doing good losing weight like there was no tomorrow. But by 2nd semester of 11th grade my stupid friend dragged me to lunch everyday and made me eat. That ruined myself and I started eatting everyday and gained weight. Now I'm back to my old self and started skipping breakfast and lunch...am I doing something good, or bad. I've tried talking to my parents about my problem but they don't care. I feel so alone and I have even tried throwing up once I loved it but it burned and I felt sick after so I stopped, but every sec on the day I think about throwing up, I want to so bad but I'm controlling myself but for how long.

[AngelWolf3]

DaniElizabeth,

first, welcome to PC...

I am sorry your parents aren't acting like they care. I went through the same thing when I was at my lowest. Is there a counselor at school you can talk to if they aren't willing to help? (I know it's still summer...)

Also, I found that my parents didn't know how to deal with the eating disorder, so they ignored it, along with me. (This may or may not be your parents' case, and I am totally not excusing them ignoring your pain!) and I know that fixes nothing knowing this info.

I hope that you can keep controlling it. Keep posting if nothing else to help get those feelings out...I am sorry I am not the best advice person. Please keep us posted.

[mirieri]

What I've found that helped me a lot when I had the urge to starve was to just force myself to eat something really healthy nutritious. Just take a couple bites and see how you feel. You'd be surprised at how much easier it can be to control that particular urge when you focus on healthy good-for-you foods. It doesn't make it quite so bad, and it is very important to keep eating despite wanting to skip meals. It will give you the energy you need for sports, instead of feeling drained and zombie-like. (I don't know if that has been a problem for you in the past, please forgive me if I assumed too much )

As for your parents... that can be the toughest challenge. Often they don't see it, and if they do they are in denial. It's a damn shame that for some reason nobody will believe someone with an ED until they look like they are on death's door, and by then it is very VERY hard to recover. You need to keep pushing them and telling them how you feel. If they still don't want to talk about, ask to see a therapist so you CAN talk to someone who will listen to you and believe you. These are very real thoughts and emotions you have, and they are not to be dismissed because someone else doesn't believe they are important. Show them http://www.something-fishy.org/. It has helped me understand a lot about my disorder, and tremendously helped my partner in understanding what I was going through.

As for the throwing up? Please don't do it. That is a one way street, and once you start it is VERY hard to stop. Every time you feel the urge think of how icky it was the last time you tried it. Also, think about that fact that you are wasting your time seeing as 70% of calories are absorbed upon entering your stomach, so you're not doing much good anyway. If you focus more on putting GOOD things into yourself, you may not see your meals as being purge-worthy. Please know that it is very dangerous for your teeth, gums, throat, stomach, and especially your heart. It is simply not worth it, and I hope that you can find the strength to resist.

You are strong, and you can fight this. We all can.

[DaniElizabeth]

Thanks for the support but I think I hit the bottom low down, I started binging. I didn't want to but someone told me that I was obese (which I'm not) and I couldn't stop binging it was the worse thing I had to do I cried all night

[DaniElizabeth]

I hit an all time low I have finally reached the bottom. I started binging a couple of days ago because someone called me obese (which I'm not) I cried all day. I didn't want to binged but I felt like I didn't have a choice.

[mirieri]

The problem with binging is recognizing that you are substituting food for a coping mechanism. We eat because physiologically we have to, but the act of eating gives us good feelings because we are giving our body what it wants. We are just programmed to like food, especially in large quantities. It's the primal part of our brain screaming at us, that we may not know when our next meal is going to come. The thing is in our modern day society, that is totally unnecessary. We have food at our convenience and don't need to worry about running out. So the trick to stopping a binge is... DISTRACTION.

That's right. When you feel the binge coming on, put the food down and just leave the room. Stay out of the kitchen or wherever food is being consumed. Just focus on the feelings you are currently experiencing, and ask yourself: am I really hungry? Realizing that eating will not solve your problems in a binge situation is extremely hard. But it is possible to avoid such a situation, its just about distracting yourself and redirecting that energy.

If you feel it coming on, immediately go do something else that requires immense concentration. Call up your friend, or you mum, or even your grandma (they love hearing from you for no reason!) and tell them you just want to chat. Often you can find a way to talk about these awful feelings and get it off your chest without having to resort to stuffing yourself to the point of sickness, and eventually engaging in a purge. Or come on here and post that you are really struggling. It may not get a response right away, but just typing out the reason for your icky feelings may help them settle down.

Binging can be a form of self-harm as real as any other. It's a release that calms us down in a time of stress. But like any other form of self-harm, it often has undesirable consequences. Just remember that you are strong, you are beautiful, and you most certainly are not obese! That is just somebody's opinion not a fact, and they most likely said it out of anger or frustration because they weren't feeling too good about themselves. It is only what you think that counts, and letting other people bring you down is a waste of time and energy.

Just remember we're here for you.