I most certainly hope I don't say anything offensive as this is new territory. Please forgive.

My son has a girlfriend who has told me that she has seen a therapist and that she was(?) anorexic....

She won't eat at my house, it causes her a lot of distress, and she has just joined the local gym.

So my question is, how can I help her? I truly am at a loss here. I don't presume to be able to help her, but I most certainly don't want to be the cause of any distress.

I would like to be supportive and positive....but I'm stuck.

If anyone has any suggestions or warnings I would be grateful....

[withoutthelove_]

Is it possible to talk to her about HOW you may be able to help (if she needs/wants it, ofc?)
Otherwise, treat her as you would anyone else.

Warnings: don't criticise her food choices, eating habits, appearance, etc. Avoid discussing weight loss, diets, calories, nutritional info or working out in front of her, it may be a trigger for her.

When my mother learned of my AN, she criticised my eating habits, watched me eat, started a diet herself and would say to me, "Gosh, I haven't eaten since breakfast" whilst cooking dinner. I wish she was half as conscientious as you are as to what to say/do.

Thank you so much for the reply....I don't think that I can ask how I can help her as it took a great deal of bravery for her to tell me that she was...
Before I found out, I "mom-ed" (like I do all the kids that come into my house) and tried to get her to eat. But in my defense I had no idea.

She leaves my house before dinner (my son says that she doesn't want to eat in front of people) so I have suggested to him that they take their plates upstairs and eat there.

I simply tell her she's beautiful (she is) because she's not, to my eye, underweight (she doesn't cover up with baggy clothes).

I will ask her if she is aware of when she's slipping....and then come back and ask for your help again if it's okay.

I am sorry I didn't get more responses, but yours was most helpful. Thank you

[Fig4]

I think that you are wonderful and caring! As someone with an eating disorder myself, I can tell you that I would like it if I were treated with respect. I used to go to my boyfriend's family's for Sunday dinner (I don't anymore) and was barraged with comments...."That's all you're eating?" "Take more!" and so on. That's exactly what not to say, or how to behave.

Don't make a fuss over her, don't ask questions. Just be kind and treat her normally. be open and receptive, and let her come to you. She'll appreciate that.

[eskielover]

She must have mentioned it to you for a reason if nothing more than to clue you into why she doesn't eat at your house.

Guess i would say if she has anything she wants to talk about you are willing to listen. Don't assume it's only about body image..there are a lot more things that get anorexia started...a lot of times the body image part is a side issue.

Mainly i would take her lead on discussion topics.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I577 using Tapatalk 2

[I had no idea]

Your concern is so very nice. The others are right...there isn't much you can do, but to be open and available if she decides to take it any further. Otherwise, just treat her normally. In a strange way being treated abnormally or pushing food on an anorexic just pushes one further. The fact that she offered that she does or did suffer from anorexia is a positive. Admitting to oneself is very difficult...never mind others! Thanks for asking!