[Beanbag0]

I know I have an ED but I can't tell anyone... It's kinda obvious since I'm so skinny but I can't talk about it. My therapist said that she is there for me when I am ready but I'm so alone right now. I wish I could just get it out so that she can help but I can't talk about it...

[eskielover]

Being skinny isn't always obviously an ED for some it is a metabolism issue...one can only truly tell if there is disordered eating with the skinny that is restricting or purging with throwing up or laxitives...etc.

I've known some people naturally thinner than me...& it a huge trigger for me.

What about it are you unable to talk with your T about?....My T is great as we use wise mind tools in dealing with issues when they come up & living alone I can't aford the fuzzy mind that comes with not eating....it's the up coming otal surgery that's going to cause me problems all teeth pulled & dentures an 8 month process with no solid food

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[theinvisigoth]

Talking about it can be hard but once you do it's a huge weight off. It's hard to deal with this alone, and I've gotten a lot of support from friends that I've confided in. Talking it out will help you figure out what's going on and why you're doing whatever it is you're doing, and come up with tools to stop the patterns.

[Beanbag0]

How did u bring it up with a friend? I just can't seem to say I have a problem... And I don't want my friend worried about me. I'm such a burden...

[theinvisigoth]

You're not a burden for needing help. Honestly, when I wanted to tell people I practiced with my therapist first, mock-conversations and planning for possible responses. If you're having trouble telling your therapist... idk that's a very individual issue, when I have trouble telling my therapist something important I either start with small talk and then blurt it out non-sequitur style or create a big long explanatory lead up.

[Beanbag0]

I feel like I'm wasting my therapist's time because in not saying my real problem... I just can't...

[waggiedog]

Hi there dear beanbag0. Honestly darling, you really do need to share this heavy burden with your therapist. I DON'T mean you are a burden to others, what I mean is that your constant worrying is a burden to YOU and you can well do without it. I agree with Eskielover, just because someone is slim, or even very skinny, it could easily be natural for them, but they would be eating a reasonable diet and not have food (and how not to absorb it) on their minds 24/7. If you are constantly having thoughts of food, either how to avoid it, or how to purge it, then you need help. I think it would be better shared with your therapist rather than your friends, but it's up to you. I'm assuming you are young, so spare a thought of what starving (no matter how you do it) is doing to your body. Because of years and years of severe restricting, laxative abuse, medication abuse (weight loss), directics (water loss pills), vomiting etc, I was unable to have children, I now have oestoprosis (brittle bone disease), my teeth, hair and nails are in terrible condition ~ ~ all a direct result of those years of binging and starving. I'd hate to think that you will end up this way, so start working out what you'd like to share with your therapist. I wish you good luck and a happy healthy future. HUGS.

[eskielover]

First Pdoc found out because H found out how much weight I had lost & he said something to my pdoc....I wasn't going to say anything because I didn't want to live. Pdoc put me in a treatment center that obviously didn't help & T knew because T & pdoc had been given permission to talk to each other as they both had privileges in the local hospital I kept ending up in

Ended up with a new pdoc after continued attempts to end my life....& it was obvious to him that I had anorexia issues because I was still underweight......

10 years ago, changed medical MD.....I had actually gained weight over a few years & ended up sick & in the hospital with asthma from forest fire smoke. New MD was monitoring my asthma.....but noticed the extreme weight loss I was having.....triggered by the asthma, my mother's cancer, my new foal that injured herself at 3 weeks old & needed constant care along with my mother 50 miles away. MD commented about the weight loss....I didn't say anything at the time but ended up calling on the phone & he called back & we talked a little about it.....but MD"s phylosophy was that he wasn't responsible for the psych aspect...only the medical care if the weight loss got too bad....but he did communicate with my pdoc. Went through a trauma with the home care person for my mother & the weight loss got really bad....ended up in the hospital on & off for 2 months around the time my mother died. MD called in the hospital pdoc & psychT for me on a daily basis as that hospital didn't have a psych wing.....but no one really helped me with all the stuff I was dealing with....but ended up in the medical hospital with the dx of anorexia.

Seven years ago, I finally escaped my bad marriage of 33 years (definitely a serious part of my struggles with depression & anorexia & attempts to end my life).....but I moved 2100 miles away & ended up about 5 years ago with the best psychologist I have ever had in the local community care clinic......& it was obvious that I was still having weight problems & she got my previous records to go over......but she's good at using DBT skills & mindfulness to keep me from allowing the weigh loss that I've been going through to take over. The discussion just naturally came up & comes up when there is an issue....but for me there is ALWAYS an issue of not eating normally......but I eat to keep up my energy as best as I can because living alone....I can't afford to have the anorexia problems I had in my past as I have no one to take care of me....& when you have to take care of yourself & 3 dogs....you can't afford to be passing out all the time or feeling so dizzy that you can't even microwave something to eat.

When anyone comments on how little I eat......I am usually open about it & just say....I have issues with eating that I struggle with....& if they want more of a discussion fine....if not.....that's good also.

[HonestlyLying]

Originally Posted by Beanbag0

I know I have an ED but I can't tell anyone... It's kinda obvious since I'm so skinny but I can't talk about it. My therapist said that she is there for me when I am ready but I'm so alone right now. I wish I could just get it out so that she can help but I can't talk about it...

I think you know that ana tells on us before we divulge our own perspective. Your providers probably realize that you're too thin/underweight but are hoping that you speak up.

You are never burdening your T and your pdoc has to know so I hope you can open up and get some help. I hear the E.D. in your words trying to keep itself a secret. IMHO the best strategy for treating anorexia is to expose it.

I wish you luck and hope you can say what you need to say. Again, confront it. Please. Starving seriously sucks!