On Monday & I have no idea how I am going to deal with it. I'm hoping someone here has some good suggestions...

I'm not going on account of my ASPD or my whatever-personality-disorder that allows me to relate, though it has been waxing & waning in severity more often than it ever has as of late. No, unfortunately, I am being forced to go due to all of my other incredibly frustrating mental defects that are affecting my quality of life. And that is probably the worst part: I HAVE to. I have no desire to whatsoever, but I have to. Since I'm not fond of seeing things, making threats on my life for reasons I can't comprehend, or any of that other ******** that has been getting worse; I figured it's due time for a professional opinion.

However. This person is good & I am REALLY, really wary of them finding out any more than they need to know to fix what I want fixed. But I have a hard time faking normality, at least when it comes to this... The extremes are obviously a lot easier to conceal, but other than that, I don't really lie about it anymore. It's become tedious. I just don't have the patience I used to for that... I've never really been that manipulative anyway, except when I don't have many other options, so I'm having a hard time making it seem convincing.

Since I know some of the people here have gone to therapy once or twice, I'm curious about a few things that I desperately need answered:
1. Is it as obvious & easy to point out as I think it is or am I just being neurotic?
2. Have any of you encountered issues if the psych HAD figured it out? What am I going to have to deal with?
3. Does anyone have any tips on gaslighting for this particular affliction?
4. If they start to get suspicious, what kind of questions do they start asking?

I'm just dreading this visit like no one's business & I just want to be mentally prepared for it. I've only ever been to one full-length psychologist's visit before & that was a ****ing disaster. He was the most incompetent old idiot I've ever met in my life, yet everyone lauded him for being such an incredible shrink. I got diagnosed with OCPD & evidently 5 months straight of psychosis is a normal response to life changes... Hahahaha

Anyway, I'm rambling right now since I haven't been sleeping well. I just needed to crawl out of my hole & back to the interwebs to deal with this. So if anyone could kindly (or unkindly, up to you) answer my above concerns before Monday, that would be ****ing awesome!! Thank you in advance.

Thankfully the anxiety passed, otherwise I'd have been very well ****ed come tomorrow!!

[SpiritRunner]

How did it go? I've read some of your posts and am intrigued and interested. I hope it went reasonably well and there's some hope of things getting fixed so you don't have to be so plagued by things you'd rather not be plagued by! It's hard to find a competent mental health professional who can really be helpful ..... sometimes they screw up more than they fix. I'm glad I found one who was helpful to me in getting things straightened that I wanted straightened out without screwing up other things!

The appointment didn't happen because they changed the building & our directions were bad... So I'm going this upcoming Monday. But yeah. My biggest source of anxiety is the person improperly focusing on things that I don't particularly have a huge problem with & ignoring the **** that actually affects me negatively. It should go fine... I always get really edgy & paranoid before I have to go, but it passes relatively quickly. : P