interpersonal coldness

Can someone explain how to know if you are like this? please don't explain the words I understand what the words mean. I need to know what it looks like, what physical actions equal interpersonal coldness in general?

Huh? You mean what body language gives it away that you are cold?

uh yeh I guess. How do I know if I'm cold in general or not? I know I can be very affectionate with partners but I don't like being physically close to most people. I don't know if it means something like that or like being purposefully mean or something. It's hard to explain for me, I often find trouble when trying to learn about things like this cos I get what the words mean but I don't get what they mean in action/expression/physically... if that makes sense. I have realised something about myself and why I ask people questions like this might be related to anti-socialness idk

well...if you stiffen up with closer proximity and your facial features show reluctance, like you're uncomfortable, etc. than that would be one sign. When a person lacks sympathy or empathy there is a lack of concern in their eyes and facial features and they tend to turn away or stiffen slightly and make no movement towards the person. There are so many subtle movements though that vary from situation to situation that I don't think I can explain. Usually people just "know". although it is all body language. anybody have anything else?

I agree with all of this..I can just tell when someone isn't interested or cold usually. It's kind of like how you can tell by someones body language if they're faking interest by exaggeration and bad acting..stuff like that.

I can tell if it's obvious with others but I don't spend much time focused on my own body language. I was wondering if my wierd thing with understanding words to actions and being somewhat oblivious to the finer details of facial expression and body language has something to do with aspd. I was begining to feel I don't have aspd but I seem to have a way of understanding/learning that must differ to everyone else since I have mulitiple complaints about finding out info on the net. I google word meanings and I get what the words mean and so on but putting that to the physical world frustrates me. It's always been there but I never noticed it like this. It's something quite confusing as the only thing even closely relating to it I've read anything about is how they say physco's can hear the words but not the music and when I became aware of this problem I have that noone else seems to it made me think of that and if that's what that means but I don't think I'm physco I think I'm anti-social which again gets confuing cos some peopel think it's the same and some think they are 2 different things. I mean I'm pretty sure I'm not a physcopath, cold bloody going to murder anyone type of person but I am defiantely not like others hence the reason I think I'm aspd. I saw something saying how physcopaths are cold, calculated, highly aware, planners, navigate well through relationships and plan violence etc and socio's/aspd are unorganised, bad at relationships, have trouble controlling violence or other urges and some other stuff I forget. the second sounds like me but I dont know if the thing I began talking about here fits aspd also or just physco's. This is all very confusing as there is so much info and misinfo out there. I have rambled on but all this is related. I often don't even know if what I'm saying will make sense to other people cos I have noticed a few things about myself that seem 'out of whack' with other people and there reactions and somethings people have mentioned or they look at me funny when I say something sometimes. This is kind of long but I'm sick of my life sucking I want answers. I do have emotions and can get quite attacted to partners yet I have no close friendships. example I spent xmas and new year alone except one person came over but rather than do what others do and go out I am just angry that those bastards ignored or forgot me... is that interpersonally cold? selfish? or what? Idk I'm off on a bit of a tangent and a lot of word vomit tonight ha ha ha ha I think I have empathy sometimes but I am often uncomfortable around other people and can't relax until I'm alone. I also have ptsd so that might explain that, sorry for the essay but my mind is playing games and not letting things out in a straight line tonight I guess. A lot of confusion :/

I might have just repeated myself in greater details ha ha ha its a weird night

from what i've read in your posts and particularly this thread, you do not strike me at all as aspd. people with aspd are very good at reading body language and are at ease around others. I have come to find that when looking up information on ASPD, the most common symptoms and descriptions are the misleading ones. They are usually written through misunderstanding/pain/resentment/ignorance of the disorder. I wouldn't focus so much right now on labeling yourself as I would on learning to think in a healthy manner. Most people have a construed view of others and an even more so one of themselves.

most of what I read suggests that the people you are describing are physcopaths not anti-socials. Anti-social people can have anxiety and since I have ptsd that would fit. Also you don't know a lot about my life, what I put here isn't much to go on lol. Also even physcopaths can have anxiety as you get paranoid physcopaths lol.....
oh and same problem but this time I tried to google belaboured normalacy... that would mean its hard for someone to .. idk take showers, eat have normal routine right? without more effort than others? the thing I read about that was talking about physcopaths but it struck me since I'm very bad with routines and doing a lot of normal things though I doubt I could do really bad things with no conscience here I'll put link. and copy the bit I mean...
3. Belaboured normalcy and effortless deviance: Actions that are reflexive, or effortless with normal, healthy people require an inordinate amount of premeditation, concentration, planning, and laborious investment by the psychopath. Acts that normal folk would find abhorrent come naturally and effortlessly to the psychopath.
The Psychopath and Antisocial

the thing giving me main trouble is.. it seems some people think there are physcopaths= big bad end of the scale disorder AND a separate thing called aspd, I tend toward that since I am fairly sure I'm not a physcopath yet I know I'm not like other people either. What's making it difficult for me to find info is people keep using terms interchangably and mixing up info. One place say something about physcopath and different things about anti-social then another says same info but backward- they now say the thing the other said about physcopath about anti-social and vice versa. :/

its been 30 years and I still cant think "in a healthy manner" so that ain't gonna help me ha ha ha ha I have been treated before with many different meds including anti depressants and a few anti physcotics, I've been to a therapist who said I'm normal lol yet I still have many problems not all of which I have told them. Nothing has helped, I have no friends and no job, I have hardly worked in my life and moved around a lot. Have touched on crime and drugs among other things, nothing serious as murder but crime anyway. I just got told by my sister I used to throw things at mum when mad though I don't know if she tells truth cos I don't trust my family. I don't trust anyone much so I have some issue beyond ptsd or the therapy and meds would have fixed me. I don't dress or act "how a woman should", my personal beliefs are against my communities- I hate christians. It's a safe bet I could be aspd though I do have emotions, I cry sometimes and I like compassion- the idea of it though I don't know how compassionate I truely am since I hate s1uts and wish they would get run over by a bus on a regular basis...

though on the other hand I think I have empathy cos I think when people get hurt around me I feel bad for them I'm not sure really

I once heard that you can't live another until you love yourself. How can you give what you don't have. Have you gone back to the basics of learning acceptance, patience, and letting go? Obviously this takes time and is difficult, but if you can achieve it, you may find more about yourself than you realized. You may also find how you think has changed for the better.

hmmm I am not good on any of those 3 things, I am very impatent (spelling??) , acceptance is defeat in my eye's and letting go- well that is the same as acceptance and makes me angry. I appreciate what your saying from one side though but when I think about it applying to me there is a side that has nasty things to say about that. It sets something in me off when people say certain things, I get a mad feeling in my chest but I have learned a bit about keeping that inside though it does come out sometimes. I should try that I guess but it's hard to explain, I can sit here and say all this now and mean it even but in 5 minutes or an hour I will be in different mind state and not care. That is the part that makes doing anything hard cos I want things to be better but I change a lot, well I say change but I guess it's more like I have a few set states of mind and when in most of them what I said before just doesn't matter at that time even though I ment it when I said I wanted things better. It's just too easy for me to not care and let go (not in the way u ment I let go of maybe the wrong things.) I'm not calculated though people who hardly know me but think they do have accused me of that and of being manipulative but I'm not. They don't seem to understand I have no control or not much over any of this either. They think I calculate my reactions- I don't, they think I plan out drama- I don't. They also never accept thier part in it either though. Other people mostly start sht on me anyway cos I'm not very power motivated. I rarely cause sht unless provoked, it's when they provoke me I have problems.