Sociopath in Denial? Lying to Myself?

Hi everyone! I've been doing copious amounts of reading for the last 6 months and I would love to get a little more interactive with my thoughts now and see if anyone could help shed any light or point me in the right direction...?

I'm 30, male. I've had 3 partners call me a Sociopath and I've been with 5 therapists in the last decade. Never by choice but to make other people happy. I've also been required by a partner to go to Sex Addiction Group Meetings.

I'll keep this as short as I can. In fact, I lay out the bullet points to keep it as objective as one can:

FACTS THAT SUGGEST ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY:
- History of cheating (every relationship since age 14)
- Never been single for more than 4 weeks.
- in 8 out of 10 relationships, I was already seeing my future gf before I had cut ties with the old.
- History of criminal activity (No record, seldom caught)
- History of impulsive behavior
- I can admit I adopt a lot of likes and dislikes and base my judgement on what partners or people around me
- Compulsive Liar
- Low interest in regular "vanilla" sex (but not desire for anything that is truly non-consensual).
- Easily make friends
- Easily liked (Social, charismatic)
- I am good at reading people
- I have been asked by every past gf
- Sexually equal opportunity (Women, men, trans... It's all OK by me)
- Almost 0 judgement on people's past actions.
- Apathy towards people BUT I can listen to their problems, I can be supportive and I do sometimes like to be social.
- Extreme discomfort answering questions about negativity from my past (Though I have 0 triggers for any emotional outbursts related to childhood sexual trauma)
- I do like me some drugs and alcohol
- High sense of self
- Vain
- I have few episodes of violence in my past, but each aren't really healthy. All of them involve momentary blackouts, high level of physical violence, often the police, almost certainly always stitches or a hospital trip. But, in my defense, I've also only directed that ever at people who physically (literally) started the fight first. Taunts and threats don't work enough...

CONTRADICTORY FACTS (I think?):

- 0 violence towards animals and people close to me.
- I'm pretty sure I've experienced love. But is it a problem if I think I've loved 6 out of my last 10 relationships? I like to think I'm a hopeless romantic.
- VERY self-sufficient and NON-parasitic life (I'm proud of that fact). I can take care of myself very well and I can take care of people around me. I don't need their homes or money or rides or support or advice or anything.
- Love for animals. I've never hurt an animal, though I have hurt somebody for hurting an animal. In fact, I even decided to become a vegetarian because I didn't want to support the cruelty of the industry.
- Extremely reliable with work (though not always responsible). I will party the night before work and even work on 0 hours sleep. I've had sex in my workplaces, taken xxx photos, sexted, seduced. I mean, I've done plenty. While I've risked my job, I've always done a very good job minimizing risk and I'm never late AND I always deliver quality work.
- Patient, calm (except for the 5 episodes of blind rage fights over the last 20 years).

I feel like it doesn't matter if I don't feel the emotions as powerfully as others do as long as I can understand theirs and have appropriate supportive reactions... The only problem is that if their emotional reaction is towards me, I will feel badly for hurting their feelings but I could still repeat the same behavior as soon as they're sleeping again - I'll just learn from my mistake and take extra precautions to not get caught.

Lately I've started experiencing a self-awareness I never really had before... Even all the accusations, the run-ins with the law, the high stress environments, the skill and desire to very quickly earn money, etc never made me truly consider this. But I was a lot more honest with my counselor recently and some honest questions were raised that now have me questioning everything.

I challenged sociopathy by saying, "I cry at the end of most relationships" and he asked, "Do you cry because you're sad or do you cry because you lost something you really liked?" He's asked me to try to visualize how I would react in situations were I alone in a comfortable room where nobody could ever know or see what I was doing in there.

Do I love the things I love or do I pretend to to impress people?
Is it possible to be so in denial that I could actually believe these things too?
Does a sociopath need to be violent or completely calculated and cold? Sure, while I haven't had any lasting friendships, I do very much like the friends I have and sincerely enjoy seeing them when we're out. Or could I just be kidding myself about that too?

I don't know. That's my real problem. I know I'll never have a long-term relationship with the way I go about things which has led me here... I see my (ex) wife utterly wrecked, crying all the time, depressed, quit her job, suicidal. I truly cannot empathize with what has her so upset but logically I get it. She's been lied to for 3 years, cheated on with half a dozen people, lied to about me going to group meetings, etc. She feels like she never knew me (I disagree...) and she feels like I never cared (I disagree...). If I didn't care, would I be here? Is it a problem that I can be out having fun while she's at home crying? I do still go by to cook and feed the cat and tidy up and chat with her and stuff!

Bottom line is that I don't want to break anyone down the way I've done to her again. This is probably just the first time I've stuck around to see the aftermath and I can't really avoid doing it again if I can't identify exactly what's going on in my head so I can get the right tools.

2 years of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy had no effect and a year of group meetings didn't. Admittedly, probably because I didn't personally care, I was just doing it to make others happy.

Advice? I re-read it and I know it seems terrible but I have just wanted to put as much down as possible without justifications to get honest thoughts.

Thank you