[CelestialFlame]

I have grown up believing that i am an extremely empathetic person and have recently come to a realization from someone else that what i feel is not empathy but pity. Now i understand that pity has a negative connotation to it so i don’t tell people i feel pity for them. I simply tell them that i am sorry and i help them in any way i can because that is what you’re supposed to do right? Do you feel pity for some people and do you help them or do you not?

[Atypical_Disaster]

I don't pity people and I don't help them unless there's something in it for me(power is what I'm after).

[Terabithia]

I don’t have antisocial personality disorder, so hope you don’t mind me commenting on this thread. It’s a subject I’ve been dealing with lately. Not too long ago I looked up the difference in meaning between these two words because I came to realize that my sister finds me pathetic.

Pity: the feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering and misfortunes of others
Pathetic: arousing pity, especially through vulnerability and sadness
Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of others

I don’t think most people are aware of these definitions and instead think of pity as feeling sorry for someone who they believe is beyond help. It’s a judgemental word that comes with a total lack of respect for the person.

What you have described, sounds like the true meaning of pity, without those negative connotations, but because most people think it’s negative, it’s best not to use that word. What you thought of saying instead, sounds very thoughtful to me.

As far as helping the person, I think it’s best just to listen, unless they ask for advice. Unwanted advice can come across as telling the person what they should or could be doing, so feels judgemental. Offering the person a ride somewhere, or offering to help the person clean house, if they have expressed difficulty with this, could be helpful, as long as it is without judgements, such as thinking badly of the person because their place is a mess.

I hope something in that was helpful, despite my not having this diagnosis.

[All Is Revealed]

Originally Posted by NaomiQuinn

I simply tell them that i am sorry and i help them in any way i can because that is what you’re supposed to do right?

I don't offer help because I know I won't come through for them. If I told everyone I can help, I would spend 24/7 running around helping others. I can listen to someone once in a while. But my time, patience, and energy is limited.

Originally Posted by NaomiQuinn

Do you feel pity for some people and do you help them or do you not?

I feel pity for friends who refuse to see they are their worst enemy. I also feel pity for people who refuse to see that happiness can come from the person they see in the mirror.

I do listen to people who I pity. I can give them advice. But if they just want to wallow in their own self-pity, then I have no time for them.