Psychopathy

Was married to a psychopath for 3l22 years before his mask began to slip and my nightmare gain.

Welcome to psych central

I'm hoping to find people here who are familiar with these kinds of people. It is unbelievable what they are capable of. My life and my children's lives are over as we knew them. I am finding starting over almost impossible.

It's unbelievable because non psychopaths literally cannot think how a psychopath thinks. Ironically people who feel empathy can't empathize with people who don't have the capacity for empathy, or emotions. There is nothing to empathize with, when you have the emotional range of a non psychopath you literally cannot understand what it's like to not have those emotions.

When someone is incapable of feeling remorse/guilt and fear, they can do literally anything because they don't have any pangs of conscience that most people have and they also don't have any emotional blocks to stop them from doing things on sheer impulse just because they can.

That awful feeling when you do something you know is wrong, "oh my god, why did I do that?" and you start feeling so horrifically guilty. Or even before you ever do anything, your conscience actually stops you because the thought of hurting others is too much or you're otherwise too afraid. Those things don't exist for psychopaths. Some narcissists can act similar, the main difference is that narcissists are capable of fear and other emotions, they just lack empathy. Psychopaths are like glaciers/stone, a narcissist is like a volcano or wildfire.

Anyways I digress, my apologies for that...

You have my sincere condolences for what has happened to you and your children. Starting over is very difficult, but it can be done. It's not as impossible as it feels.

Hi, Atypical. I think it's very important that people understand what you have written about psychopaths. "Normal" people aren't going to have the empathy, as you wrote, because we just don't process like that. Not that I'm "normal", but with regard to psychopathy I'm pretty sure I am.

But I think I can understand what a recent likely-psychopath did to a horrifically large number of people, though. I can identify with disliking and even hating large numbers of people more "normal" than I, who can enjoy each other and outdoor concerts and feel a sense of belonging and -- who knows what, because I don't/can't feel it very often. Instead, I often feel "rejected" because I am "different" -- though having gotten to a core of rejection feelings I'm doing a lot better with that.

But NEVER, NEVER, NEVER could that feeling of disliking regular people generate even a thought of doing something as "awful" as Las Vegas, for instance.

So, I think -- "rejecting" and demonizing psychopaths isn't the answer. "Understanding", in the sense of a cognitive or scientific understanding, is what is needed. They are people, just very different and sometimes very dangerous. And if the rest of us recognize and accept that. . . There are examples of people like James Fallon, who is biologically a psychopath but doesn't behave (much) like one within his family and community. Their lack of fear CAN and DOES sometimes benefit the society of which they are a part -- if/when they are accepted for who and how they are by the society. They can be excellent warriors and maybe explorers of outer space someday. Who knows.

They just aren't people it is safe to "trust" and run to when we want compassion and understanding. Oh, well. We need to find others for that.