[Ryobi]

I’ve been researching ‘social anxiety’ and although at first I thought I might have it, as I’m very bad in social situations and relationships, however after reading more about it, I realize, I’m not scared of being around people, I don’t get anxious in those situations.

So I’m starting to wonder what it really is?

In social situations I find myself constantly wondering what the other person is thinking and feeling. I don't touch people unless they initiate it because I am terrified that they will think I like them or what they will 'read' from it (which is really bad in relationships), as a result I'm always wondering if this person likes me, or if that guy/girl wants to be more than my friend, even though they are showing no actual signs of liking me and the idea in general is ridiculous.

I also find myself 'checking-out' other girls and for a while I was very, very worried that I was actually attracted to them, when there is no way I would ever like girls that way! Now I look for clues that I am attracted to girls or that I am acting too masculine and then overanalyse these clues.

I get obsessed with certain things, a disorder, condition or a subject and this thing sort of expands until it's all I am. If I was interested in, for instance, ADHD I would repetitively read every bit of information I could find about the condition and compulsively behave in certain ways that fit that disorder. If it was astrology, I would become 'the astrologer' and relate everything to that subject. I have to fit the stereotype exactly.

Following on from this, I also have set patterns of behaviour that are the same in every situation. When I'm in a shop and have to buy something, I go 'hi' then 'you too', that's it, it's too late by the time I realise what they've said is something like 'enjoy your meal' or 'we accept refunds' and I've just said 'you too'. It's an automatic response.

Although I'm bad in social situations and after the initial 'how are you?' 'good you', I can't work out what to do next. I love being around people, I want to socialise

So is this normal? Or what could it be? Is it social anxiety?

[Ryobi]

To expand on the 'obsessing over other people's thoughts, actions and social situations' I want to add some more points:

- I frequently check MSN to see who is online, check people's pms to see if they bear any link to me or what they are thinking, doing, feeling at that point in time. However I won't intiate a conversation with anyone online. They have to.

- It takes me ages to decide what to wear in the morning because I worry that what I have on is too much like what someone else wears or wore yesterday or if it feels right or not. So I change around 5 times or so.

- I don't initiate conversation or say 'hi' to people until they talk or say 'hi' to me. Because I'm worried they will think I am attracted to them (ridiculous).

- I pick up mannerisms and personality traits from friends because I can't trust my own.

- On top of having the automatic thought that people will be attracted to me if I do 'such and such' or that they are attracted to me and getting worried, overthinking because of it. I find I misread all kinds of other social cues and have trouble understanding some jokes, innuendo and sarcasm at times. Which makes me even less sure of myself in social situations.

Sorry for not adding this kind of thing before but I felt I needed to add it.

[knothead]

You might be able to pinpoint what is going on with you by taking some of the quizzes this site offers. You can learn a lot by taking them plus they have links that help explain any disorders that the quizzes may reveal to you. Just guessing, but it sounds like you may have social anxiety - as years progress the anxiety can worsen and turn into a phobia (I think). It sounds like you have some obsessive/compulsive tendencies also. Just click onto the sites home page and the pages drop down menus should help you find what you need.

[Junerain]

Ryobi you are YOU, in all its beauty and wonderfulness, do not try to be 'normal..' such a thing does not even exist...just YOU.....

I, too, try and try to see what the other person is thinking and feeling, and obssess about things too..

I feel less alone with how I am after reading we have things in common

[gimmeice]

Hello Ryobi, it's nice to meet you. I agree that taking some of the quizzes here may help point you in the right direction, although they are not meant to diagnose you but they are handy.
If you have any questions feel free to private message any community liaison or moderator, here is a link to a list of forum leaders.
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showgroups.php

[Ryobi]

Thanks for the replies. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this way, it's very good to hear that. It's strange to hear OCD mentioned because usually this is associated with always wanting to be clean isn't it? I'll check into the condition more thoroughly now though....

And I'll definitely look at those tests.

[Ryobi]

I did a few tests, one for the 'autism spectrum', one for OCD and another was 'the sanity score'.

Got 111 on the sanity score (very, very happy with that score). Ranks very high for OCD and relationship issues and high for phobias, borderline issues and anxiety.

High risk for OCD (not surprised) and high risk for autism as well, which I wasn't expecting. So I'm going to try and speak to a few people and getting a thread going in the aspergers forum to see what happens there.

Heh, I know something is wrong, now I just have to work out what