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Old Apr 01, 2005, 12:03 AM
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JL4C JL4C is offline
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I have been with my boyfriend for about six months now, and he has just recently been admitting some things to me. I'll go through and just explain as much as I can. He says he is constantly worrying about things, everything from his schoolwork (we're in college) to things I do to things that don't really even affect him. Also, he says that his emotions have been quite unstable. One day, for example, everything will be fine to him and then the next, he will feel very negative and not want to do anything. Nothing really triggers it, he says. He has also told me that things that are very insignificant tend to bother him a lot. A couple of examples of this would be me talking to another male that he doesn't know very well or the way someone says something in a specific class.

Another large problem that he has been having deals with school much more extensively. In one specific class, whenever had an oral exam, he completely froze up, and literally could not say anything. He had this happen so many times that the professor suggested he drop the class, and so he did. He does the same sort of thing with written exams - freezes up. These, however, he can at least finish some of.

I have found that some of the things he has described to me sound very similar to how I felt when I was going through depression, and this severely frightens me. But looking at the additional things, I have been fearing that he might have anxiety disorder.

I am very worried about him and would like to find out what exactly is going on. Despite this, I know he is very sensitive when it comes to this sort of thing and has previously expressed to me that he does not like the idea of taking medications for anything. I am asking for any sort of thoughts and suggestions.

Thank you.
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  #2  
Old Apr 01, 2005, 12:20 AM
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coco8199 coco8199 is offline
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I'm in the same boat... I have depression and anxiety problems. And I'm against taking meds as well. I found a center that does only counseling and will only recommend you to see another doctor for meds if things are severe and show no signs of improving. I've really improved since I started counseling; I'm not fixed by any means, but I'm much better. It really does help to talk to someone and sometimes it's best to talk to someone outside of your daily life.

Hope this helps some.
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  #3  
Old Apr 01, 2005, 11:51 AM
Taipans Taipans is offline
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Hey there!

I suffer from severe social anxiety and moderate depression myself. I wanted to comment on two things you mentioned. First off his anxiety has to come from 1 or 2 places. Trauma or chemical imbalance. Has he spoken with you about anything he experienced as a child? If its something personal he went through, from abuse or teasing as a child counseling and therapy may be his best bet. Drugs can help some, but mask the problem more then fix it. If he hasn’t had anything happen and it seems more of a chemical imbalance, sometimes medication can do wonders. And even maybe the only way to eliminate his problems. So he should keep an open mind, they aren’t all so bad especially in mild doses. I happen to have gone through years of therapy before medication and now I do both. The depression has subsided allot because of the meds alone. If he is identifying a problem that is the first step to becoming better.

Best of Luck and we are all here to lend support.

-Mark
  #4  
Old Apr 05, 2005, 04:11 AM
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JL4C JL4C is offline
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He has actually had a wonderful childhood with no real traumatic experiences, so I am assuming that it is a chemical imbalance. I'll have to talk to him to see what he thinks about all of that.

Thank you both! It is hugely appreciated!
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  #5  
Old Apr 06, 2005, 01:52 AM
CompGeek CompGeek is offline
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Location: Merrimack College
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I agree with you in the thought that it sounds like an anxity disorder mixed with a form of depression. Just because someone has depression or and anxiety disorder they don't have to necessarily take meds. Sometimes just talking to a psychologist can do a lot to help. It sounds like your boyfriend has test anxiety which is a common thing at least in my college. I have done some research into this for one of my classes and despite the usual advice about studying in advance and gettting plenty of rest the night before I found out that if a person eats dark chocolate while taking a test it tends to calm their nerves which will help to aleviate the Test Anxiety.. I had a couple of my friends try this out whith out telling them what it was supposed to do and they said that they felt much better during the tests.. it was a controlled experiment that I implemented because i was curious about how accurate what i read was. Anyway it worked for them so maybe you could suggest this to your boyfriend. Going through depression yourself you may be able to help him out a little bit but I would suggest that he see a professional if things do not get better after talking to him. Also to help with his sensitivity have him go to a pyschologist because they can not prescribe medicine.. This may make him feel at least a little more comfortable.
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