[Aunt Donna]

I know this is silly, but I have avoided new babies since my 12 year old niece was born. I had two horrible miscarriages before she was born, and was hurt because everyone else could carry their babies and I couldn't. My sister had a lot of problems with my niece and she was in the NICU for four days after she was born. I started babysitting her when my sister went back to work. She has been the exception for 12 years. I would look at other people's babies and smile and make the right comment, but I didn't ask to hold them. I didn't hover around them either. I just let it be. I didn't go see my brother-in-law's son until he was a year old. Just couldn't handle it.
When my oldest niece announced she was pregnant, I was just like okay, I am behind you and will support you. She started a list of who could and couldn't hold the baby. I told her not to worry about it, I didn't do new babies. She asked me why I didn't want to hold her baby. I just told her I loved her and she would have to understand. Well, today I told my 8 day old great nephew that his Aunt Donna was going to try to get the nerve up to overcome my fear. I held him for about five minutes. I was real nervous, but it was okay and I got some good loving. It felt good. My 12 year old niece was shocked when I asked her to get him because I was afraid to stand up with him. It was her first time to actually hold her nephew. She took him straight to her sister. I going back again Thursday to see him, but my husband has dibs on getting the loving from him. LOL

[theotterone]

Originally Posted by faylowell

I know this is silly, but I have avoided new babies since my 12 year old niece was born. I had two horrible miscarriages before she was born, and was hurt because everyone else could carry their babies and I couldn't. My sister had a lot of problems with my niece and she was in the NICU for four days after she was born. I started babysitting her when my sister went back to work. She has been the exception for 12 years. I would look at other people's babies and smile and make the right comment, but I didn't ask to hold them. I didn't hover around them either. I just let it be. I didn't go see my brother-in-law's son until he was a year old. Just couldn't handle it.
When my oldest niece announced she was pregnant, I was just like okay, I am behind you and will support you. She started a list of who could and couldn't hold the baby. I told her not to worry about it, I didn't do new babies. She asked me why I didn't want to hold her baby. I just told her I loved her and she would have to understand. Well, today I told my 8 day old great nephew that his Aunt Donna was going to try to get the nerve up to overcome my fear. I held him for about five minutes. I was real nervous, but it was okay and I got some good loving. It felt good. My 12 year old niece was shocked when I asked her to get him because I was afraid to stand up with him. It was her first time to actually hold her nephew. She took him straight to her sister. I going back again Thursday to see him, but my husband has dibs on getting the loving from him. LOL

As with anything we may fear, take "baby steps" (ok, it's a pun, but hey, I have a weird sense of humor!) In all seriousness, I am sorry for your losses. I lost a child at 18 from being beaten by my ex and am relieved I have never had to go through that pain again.

When my sister had her first son, I was TERRIFIED to hold him! My oldest daughter (Bug) was 11 lbs 3 1/4 oz at birth. She was the size of a 2 month old. My nephew was so tiny at 6 lbs some oz, and looked like a fragile wrinkled old man. My sister was not as gentle as your family. She looked at me and barked "Pick him up!" I had Crash a little over a year later and she was even bigger, 11 lbs 4 3/4 oz! To this day, while I can hold newborns, it's hard since my own were never that small!

So take it slow. If you are not comfortable standing up with a baby in your arms, don't. Just as YOU need to feel secure holding them, they need to feel secure being held. I am so VERY PROUD of you for holding the baby! Take it a bit at a time, you will get there!

[jerrymichele]

((((((((((((((((fay)))))))))))))))))))))

[Aunt Donna]

Did better today. I held my nephew for about 20 minutes until I felt a full diaper then I gave him back to his mother. LOL. Hey, she had him and I am not ready for a dirty diaper.

[theotterone]

One step at a time, hon! One step at a time!

[Aunt Donna]

He smelled good. I know I am in love plus me being there for my niece helps her. I didn't know until later this afternoon, my niece had called my sister and asked her some questions because she was feeling nervous. She felt better because my husband and I stopped by and reassured her that she was a good mother and she had done a great job. She understands we are here for her. It was important for her for me to hold the baby even if is for small periods of time. She isn't pushing him on me, but she wants me to be a part of his life. Her and her sister mean the world to my husband and me. Since we don't have any actual children of our own (everyone refers to our dogs as our children. My sister even tells the dogs when she comes in that Aunt Nette is happy to see them too. Yes, we all need help), my two nieces will are it for us. My sister and her husband has us listed as guardians in case of an emergency. I will do anything in the world for my nieces even face my fears.

[VickiesPath]

Good for you, Donna. I am so happy that you are getting to experience God's miracle so close up.

I, too, had two miscarriages. However, I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant in the first place, either. (Didn't particularly want children before that, but it's a long story.) Even with two miscarriages, I tried again. The third one was successful and I had a son at age 41. He was 6lb 7 oz when born and was 6lb 2oz when I took him home. He indeed was wrinkley and looked like an old man!

I wouldn't have missed having him for the world. But the two miscarriages weighed heavily on me. I had a delayed reaction to them. Didn't really feel the loss for a while then it suddenly hit me how awful it was.

I hope you are able to get past your uneasiness and enjoy your great nephew. Bless you, sweetheart.