[GreyGoose]

I have been focusing on a way to accurately describe how I feel each day for a number of months but because anxiety symptoms can be so vague and weird, this has'nt been an easy task. Now, I think I have finally done it so here it is.

Each morning I wake up I feel 1/2 decent but within about an hour, I can begin to feel the anxiety trickling up from deep within. Then I get really depressed and frustrated because I hate feeling bad every day. The absolute worst symptom is just feeling hungover and "wasted" all day. It's like I drank a 6-pack the previous night and yet I don't even drink.

Another thing is my eyes. I get a lot of blurry, distorted, focusing problems. Of course, I took Xanax regularly for awhile, then Ativan and started taking Oxazepam about a month ago and have taken one every night for a month now.

So to summarize, I feel anxious, hungover and generally, just feel like crap all the time and it's starting to really get old. I sleep with a pet goose every night, I sit at the computer most of the day, I have allergies, I've started taking Buspar in the last few days, etc. Not much more "background" I can give.

I also had a nerve block in my armpit and ever since, I've had this sore knot on the left side of my collar bone and when I push on it, I get pain radiating down my left arm (where I had the surgery).

My head/mind feels like it's full of jello, dull, anesthetized, soupy, I do scatterbrained things that scare me sometimes, etc.

Does this sound like anxiety...the meds...the crappy state of things in the country/world today...or something else?. Help please )-:

EDIT: I also feel like I have to pretend that everything is all rosy because nobody likes a whiner. My poor friend tries so hard to cheer me up by making nice meals, helping me get things done, telling jokes, etc and yet all I do is drag him down complaining about my problems all day/every day. He does'nt deserve that at all. Gosh, I feel like I'm being tortured for my sins a long time ago and I just wish it could all end because this is not living...it's not even existing.