[la333]

Have you ever met some one who just made you feel low about your self. Well, I have. His negative comments have been blocking my mind for the last few weeks. My OCD and depression have been getting worst, which doesn't help either. He just made me realise that I’ve missed out on so much in my life, that I feel like I'm never going to catch up on every thing I’ve wanted to do, as I'm older now. I keep panicking, as I’ve been reflecting on what I have achieved and it seems like I'v missed out on almost a whole decade, because of my depression. I can't seem to look forward to anything, as I keep thinking of the past. I have no memories, of friends and events or holidays, as I'm always alone and I’ve tried to make close friends but they just loose interest in me. I can’t turn back time but I don’t know how to forgive my self for missing out all this time. I also, can't stop thinking about this guy. I know he's probably forgotten about me and moved on with his life!

I can relate to somebody making me feel low. My brother does it all the time, and he is still in my life. If I may suggest, try not thinking about that person any more. Try to find a hobby or a subject of interest and use that OCD to accomplish great things.I am creating a web site.Or you can just study something you always wanted to learn about. Start out with baby steps, and build yourself up more each day. And remember, we on these message boards are you friends. Keep your chin up. It will get better.

[gimmeice]

Hello la333, it's nice to meet you, welcome to psych central.
Are you in therapy? This is something that a therapist could really help you with. Another thing is, have you considered setting goals for the present time? You can't change the past but you can certainly try to work on the present.

[Locust]

Hey La,

I really related to this post. I feel like depression, anxiety, low self esteem, etc. have made me miss out on over a decade of my life. It is hard to forgive myself, also, but that's not all- it's hard for me to move on and do something now. I still feel stuck, overwhelmed, demotivated, etc. I also had OCD- now just have tendancies. OCD sucks and it's hard to get neg. thoughts out of your head when you have OCD and a thought gets stuck on replay. When OCD was a bigger issue for me it felt like I had no control- well, little- over my own brain and couldn't force the intrusive thoughts away. If I'm not mistaken, all this focus on forcing them away and stressing over having them, can actually make them worse and cause them to stick around for longer. I know it's difficult not to get stressed over obsessions, but it is best if we can take them as casually as possible, in my understanding, in order to get the thoughts to pass on by.

I have had people remind me of my short comings, struggles, etc., and it does make me feel like crap, BUT I know deep down, it's not about what that person thinks of me, as much as it is about what I think of me. It's because I BELIEVE those same things deep down myself, or because those things are things that already upset me about myself and my life, and that person merely acts as a reminder of that. This isn't always the case, admittedly, but it often is. Is it possible you were already upset about the past, and this person just reminded you of it? I know it sucks to have people rub your nose in it and often does us no good, but if it has gotten you to wanting to change things for the better, maybe it will be a good thing in the end? What do you think?

Sadly, as you typed it yourself, we can't go back and fix the past, we can only affect the future. I know it is a great loss, but trust me on this, if you dwell on that to the point of losing focus on the present and future and let it interfere with you doing something now, and making changes now, then it will only compile and get worse and worse, and be more and more time lost. I know this, yet I continue to do it myself, so I do understand. Yet, if you make changes now, you will appreciate it later. If you don't, your regrets will get larger.

I am sorry about the guy. I don't know what to say, since I don't really know the situation, but you don't know how he feels, until you check it out for yourself. Maybe try something casual. Tell him something reminded you of him and you got to wondering how he was doing, and thought he might like to catch up sometime. Good luck with that.

I will write more later.

[phoenix47baby]

I can relate to your assertion about missing ten years. I missed ten years due to mental illness-depression and anxiety and was in and out of hospitals, medication changes of 32 different meds, etc., and a lot of time in bed. I had few local friends and to think about the holidays, no way.

You can make up for this by being more proactive in your life when you are feeling good. Look to the future and plan accordingly. You can do it. Gentle Hugs. Gentle Hugs Gentle Hugs

[DoggyBonz]

Originally Posted by la333

Have you ever met some one who just made you feel low about your self. Well, I have. His negative comments have been blocking my mind for the last few weeks. My OCD and depression have been getting worst, which doesn't help either. He just made me realise that I’ve missed out on so much in my life, that I feel like I'm never going to catch up on every thing I’ve wanted to do, as I'm older now. I keep panicking, as I’ve been reflecting on what I have achieved and it seems like I'v missed out on almost a whole decade, because of my depression. I can't seem to look forward to anything, as I keep thinking of the past. I have no memories, of friends and events or holidays, as I'm always alone and I’ve tried to make close friends but they just loose interest in me. I can’t turn back time but I don’t know how to forgive my self for missing out all this time. I also, can't stop thinking about this guy. I know he's probably forgotten about me and moved on with his life!

Thanks for posting. I can relate and was talking about this earlier today. Feeling like I have missed out on life and how do I pull it back together now. Is there time b/c it feels like it has run out. No one has the right to make you feel horrible about yourself and it's easy to say to get away but it's those thoughts of what if it is true - those silent thoughts that creep in. I get so scared and don't know what to do. Friends are hard to make and I'm always feeling way behind the eight ball. Never enough and going to different people and getting different answers. Right now I'm feeling so out of control b/c I don't know what to do and crawling into bed and just going to sleep although not realistic is my first option.
Thanks for posting and helping me realize that I am not so alone in this. Keep posting and letting us know what is going on.