[GreyGoose]

Has your anxiety ever gotten so bad that you began to question wether it was *really* just "anxiety"?. You know, blood tests don't detect everything and certain meds can even mask the results.

I'm sitting here in front of my computer right now totally freaked out of my mind. For the past 4 days my legs have felt weak and rubbery. At times, there is a deep, tingly, sensation in them.

One of my worst symptoms and the one that scares me the most is that at times, my whole body or a part of my body feels like it's "vibrating" with anxiety (sort of like a weak current going through me).

My eyes also get blurry or I'll get a brief numb sensation on my right arm (feels like someone is blowing on it gently or something). I tell you, I REALLY feel like I'm not going to be around much longer and that's the truth. It's very scary.

- GreyGoose

[jmo531]

Grey,

I wish there was something I could do to ease your anxiety. Everything you are saying is a symptom that I have had at one time or another. I know when your going through it, it can be very difficult to deal with. Unbearable. Try sitting in your bedroom with the door closed and lie down on the floor. Close your eyes and put your arms out to the side. Take deep breathes. Slowly breath in and slowly exhale. Repeat this several times. Think about the anxiety and where you most feel it with in you. Weather it is your stomach, arms, legs, just whereever and concentrate on moving your anxiety away from that area. Slowly move it out and away from you. I know this sounds rediculous but my sx T had me try this excerise and it actually helped temporarily.

The bottom line is, its mind over matter or worry in this case. You have to control your anxiety. Dont let it control you. This is easier said then done and will require alot of re-conditioning in the way you think, feel and act. Slowly you must condition your mind to react calmly in anxious and tense moments.
I delt with this for months at a time. The clenched jaw, the lump in my throat, dizziness, blurry vision, tingling in my neck and back, weakness in my arms and legs. Tingling lips and what felt to me like my tongue would get numb (very weird). It would wash over me like a wave in the ocean and come back over and over again. Thats when I knew I needed to take control. Buying books on panic disorder is a good place to start. Not just one, buy a few. YOu will learn different techniques from each book. Its not an easy process nor is it a fast process. Baby steps. We are here for you always Grey. Take care my friend.

[Myzen]

Grey,

You're laying on the floor or a hard bed.

Breath in for the count of 4, hold for the count of 4, breath out for the count of 4, hold for the count fof 4. Let the air go right down in to your lungs, pulling it down with the abdomen.

At first the anxiety won't let you do it. You keep counting and breathing and slowly you might find that your heartbeat is fitting in with the counting. You can adjust the counting slightly to go with the heartbeat. If this doesn't happen don't bother, just focus on the counting and the breath.

You keep breathing. Maybe 15minutes in you find that you are getting bored, but you stay with it. It is the discipline which is the key here; you choose to continue. After a little while more you notice that your arms and legs are getting heavy and you are feeling tired in a good way. You feel the weight in your limbs and your body, as if they were bags of sand, solid and secure, not jittery any more.

Maybe this doesn't happen the first time, as it didn't with me, but when it does happen you have a skill which you can always use.

Peaceful thoughts to you, Myzen

[Parker10]

I agree with the posters above......however, I want to strongly emphasize that you should be laying down to start learning the diaphragmatic breathing Myzen is telling you about. Watch to see that your belly is moving more than your chest as you "relearn" to breathe correctly.

Almost all of your symptoms sound like they are due to improper breathing - too shallow and quick.

Also - I know exactly what you are saying about thinking there HAS to be something other that anxiety wrong.......I did that for 17 years. I cannot even remember all the Doctors I went too, trying to find out what was wrong with me. I would have been happy to have been told it was a brain tumor - or ANYTHING that they could just FIX. But, all tests were negative, and I learned to deal with the anxiety and panic. They are REAL, painful and scarey. I suppose the main thing was that I realized that nobody but ME could help me.......and I worked HARD, everyday. I soaked up every bit of information I could find, tried everything I could find to try to help myself. I had spent so many years undiagnosed, and on the "pity pot", that once I was told what was wrong with me, I worked every day to get better.......hard work for sure, but worth it.

Good luck !

[MissHoneychurch]

GreyGoose,

I have been there. I was convinced I had MS, Parkinson's Disease, Lou Gehrig's Disease, Cancer, you name it. My balance was off, I was dizzy, I was twitching all over, my left side felt very weak my hands shook, my speech was slurred, my legs were rubbery.

I had every test under the sun. Nothing wrong with me. It was at that point I chose to trust the doctors and realize I was a hypochondriac.

Severe anxiety causes hypochondria - your anxiety is manifesting itself physically.

[Myzen]

Hi Grey,

I hope we'll be able to help you a little. Please don't feel that wer'e lecturing you or anything, it's just that we recognise a fellow sufferer, and believe me I've been in your spot (or something very much like it).

It's pretty clear that Parker and Honey know the score on the anxiety, the descriptions are so familiar it takes me there just reading it.

Stay with us Grey, and keep talking. If I could, I'd take some of that rotten old anxiety off you right now, and throw it where it belongs - in the trash!

Peaceful thoughts, Myzen.

PS, I'm posting a poem in the creative section about this stuff, maybe it'll help somebody. It's called Agoraphobia.

[CJR520]

Hi Grey, I haven't been in here for a while, but sorry to here you are having problems. I have had the same thing. You will get it under control, and I guess that is easier said than done, a hard job. Life is really tough at times, but we are all here for you. Be strong!!!

[GreyGoose]

Thank's SOOOO much to all of you for putting up with me and my problems during this difficult time. I swaer, I honestly don't know what I would do without all of you (probably end up in an institution or something!). I posted more about my "arm thing" in a fresh post but I should have probably put it here since the two threads are marginally related. Oh well, I just want to say THANK YOU!!

[Schatze]

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your anxiety is manifesting itself physically.

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MissHoney is right. Mine did this for 6 months. Multiple doctors ran multiple tests and I was certain I was dying. They, of course, never found anything...my Pdoc later found PTSD.

I was certain I had some rare or exotic disease that was killing me because I was in such poor physical condition...could only get out of bed to go to the bathroom and sometimes then needed help. Please talk to your doctor about your anxiety causing physical illness before your physical illness gets as bad as mine. Anxiety can really take a toll on you.

Take good care of yourself,

Missi