[flora_poste]

Life has thrown a crap storm toward myself and pretty much my whole group of close friends all at the same time this past week and 1/2.

It all starts with the blizzard and the blackout. Our friend comes in from Vermont on the day it happens and has been with us since (thank goodness we've had good company). We were out of electricity for a week. I'm a freelance worker who relies on internet connection to make a living. I lost everything I had In the bank because of it. Had to buy non perishables, had to spend a lot of cash on candles and batteries. I was pretty short to begin with and I couldn't even make more money to survive. Thankfully my mom was able to help me a little.

Then our friend calls us crying needing emotional support because her roommate (who was a friend of my housemate... I wrote the whole story out on here this morning if anyone wants to read the details) was acting in a really crazy manner and was causing big problems with her marriage and so on. So we all went over there and unfortunately had to witness some pretty horrifying and saddening things that have us all still very shaken up.

The next day I learn that my landlord is planning on marrying his girlfriend and she wants us out of the house. Granted it's not a lease situation and so on, but this has been my first ever stable living situation and being broke in NYC it is not easy to find stable arrangements with stable people. So I'm pretty worried, especially since I don't even have the resources to begin to even think about moving. Our landlord isn't one to throw someone out on their behind (he's known my housemate over 20 years, he's a real good guy), so at least I don't have to worry about that, but I do know that it's going to be really hard for me to go from living in a gorgeous, spacious house with one of my best friends in one of the nicest neighborhoods in Brooklyn, where I have freedom to do what I want, have gatherings when I want, etc. to more than likely living in a sub-par space with a stranger who probably has some sort of craziness (cause that seems to be my pattern and the pattern of everyone I know). If I could, I would get myself out of the city and move somewhere more affordable... but that's not going to be an option for a while.

On top of this, my housemate has a crazy stalker that has been harassing her and has been showing up at our home. She's not taking it seriously enough and It has me scared for all our safety. With the electric problem (still not totally fixed), It's even more scary cause anyone can just snip the wire we have running to our house. Home invasion is my #1 fear.

And if that's not crazy enough, our friend from out of town has a crazy "boyfriend" or whatever he is (they've been together a few years, but he's very abusive and manipulative, she's been trying to get away for a while) who's been harassing her and everyone she knows (including myself and he doesn't know me from Adam). So today I woke up to her screaming and crying on the phone with this guy, so the second I woke up I've had to deal with stress. It's what friends do and I don't mind, it's just getting a wee overwhelming when it's so much stuff going on all at once. Then our other friends (the ones with the roommate incident) came over soon after, they're helping our out of town friend get her stuff from vermont and what not. But the female half of this pair came in with her own stress and was crying because she's a freelancer as well and she's having a very hard time getting work because the economy is sucking, she just got yet another roommate skipping out on rent and she's got some major bills that she does not have the means to pay. So it's just been stress all around and I have that awful weight in my chest, I'm shaky and just nervous.

I'm glad we've all had each other to lean on and be supportive. I've never really had a group like this before, it just all happened very quickly and naturally over the past couple months. All this stuff has brought us together, but man... it's just so much to take in. Up until recently when I realized I had a problem handling other's stresses, I didn't have this kind of connection. I've been making myself be more open to other people and I'm seeing that it's bringing people closer to me. I am so grateful for it and I'm seeing so much progress in my mental/emotional health. It's still taking me time to get used to... I'm really not used to letting people this close and being effective at helping my friends through heavy crisis. As stressed as I feel I'm handling it ok. I just hope things smooth over QUICK... for all of us!!!! I would LOVE to have this weight lifted.

((((((((( flora )))))))))

[angie2716]

I'm sorry your going through all of this. I wish you luck on getting through all of it!