[Ad Intra]

So I misread an assignment for school and botched it. I'm so worried about it I'm sick. My head hurts and my SI is triggered.

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by Ad Intra

So I misread an assignment for school and botched it. I'm so worried about it I'm sick. My head hurts and my SI is triggered.

Hello. I am always afraid of making a mistake. I am afraid of doing something wrong or saying something wrong. It terrifies me.

For me, the best thing to think was that everyone makes mistakes and we will learn from them. I try to think what happened was in the past and nothing can be done so why am I think about it.

I do a compulsion with this also but don't do that. It's terrible when I have to stop everything to do my compulsion.

Sorry I don't have good advice for you. Don't do SI. Think of positive things. You might want to put a trigger warning if you haven't already. Sorry, I can't see that on my phone. Hope this helps .

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[Fuzzybear]

[AnxietyMaster]

I have no idea. I would like help on this too. A single mistake, especially in front of others, can make or break a day.

[maxie154]

Mistakes can be uncomfortable, truly. I used to obsess over them. They still get me sometimes, but I've become much better at handling them than before.

What helps me is (1) asking, "How much will this really effect me in the long-run?" For example, your school assignment might receive a poor mark, but how badly will it effect your class grade? How about your overall GPA? (2) Asking myself how I would perceive someone else making the same mistake. Perhaps not overly helpful for your current situation, but this often calms me down when I make a mistake in front of others. And (3), remembering that mistakes are necessary for learning and success. Both learning and success eventually require pushing yourself and taking risks, which inevitably will lead to some mistakes.

I also like Nike007's point, that mistakes are in the past and worrying will not change them. So why dwell on them?

Best of luck to you.

I see that you wrote this a couple of days ago, so I'll assume you're past the "in the moment" flood of feelings that can some with a mistake.

I'm not a huge fan of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) in general, but I do think it's very good in this type of situation. If I am upset about making a mistake, I can generally guarantee that I am doing one or more of the "cognitive distortions" that CBT talks about.

I may be deciding what other people must think about my mistake or thinking that I "always" make mistakes. Sometimes I just look at the list of cognitive distortions and find the one I'm doing.

I don't know if this comes into play for you, but I'm in my 50s, and I have some types of mistakes that I continue to make over and over and so if I do one of those, there's an added layer of unhappiness about that.

No matter how much of an expert you are in CBT, though, it's still going to be embarrassing and painful to make a big(gish) mistake. I think that's just part of life. We will have uncomfortable feelings about some things. They will come, but then they will go.

We can use CBT to learn not to get more upset about them than makes sense, but we will still be upset some.

Learning how to make a mistake and to feel the uncomfortable feelings that go with it and then to keep on going is an important life skill, and I don't know any way of learning it other than by making mistakes and dealing with them.

I used to work with a "wise old man" several years ago who had a saying (probably not original): "Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment."

I don't know if any of this is helpful to you. I suppose I'm trying to say that the bad feeling that comes when you make a bad mistake is okay. It's very unpleasant, but it doesn't mean that you are bad like the feeling, and the feeling will pass. It's a growing pain. Hugs.

[francisR]

Hi Ad Intra

I'm sorry this happened to you. I was just wondering whether it would be possible for you to ask to redo the assignment so that you could get a good grade for it? Don't beat up on yourself for this. People make mistakes all of the time. And I am sure that you have done some really good assignments in the past. Resisting the temptation to SI will make you feel really good. You have resisted this in the past so you have what it takes to do it. Take care. I hope and pray tomorrow will be really good for you. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis

[francisR]

Hi Ad Intra

I think we have to accept that we are all fallible and will make mistakes. You would forgive someone else for making mistakes so it is best to treat ourselves in the same way. Perhaps the best way to deal with the anxiety is to come up with a solution such as finding out whether you can redo the assignment. And also. Reflecting on other successful assignments and projects to reassure yourself that you are competent and overall successful. Take care. I hope and pray you have a really great day. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis