Housebound with Social Anxiety

whoswho, your signature says it all too. Progress is made by two steps forward, one step back, and even back to where you started at times. You have to physically force yourself out there. Don't wait to be motivated. Baby steps, one at a time is what works. Picture yourself at the beach. Most people approach the water, put their toes in and slowly walk out to the deeper waters. There will be times you will be discouraged by your efforts, us sensitive, emotional types are so self critical. But you must push past that and keep moving forward. "Feeling the fear and doing it anyway" isn't easy and takes courage on your part. But the rewards are so worth it, feeling more confident and a sense of satisfaction with yourself. Keep working with your T., there's so much to look forward to, you're in the springtime of your life. The older you get the more you realize just how precious this gift of life is. Get well and make the most of it. A career, marriage, children, whatever you desire. Keep repeating, you are so worth it. Nobody is any better, nor anyone any less than you. Keep us posted on your progress dear, we are all your friends here.

Right!

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Bloody Oath you can!

Whoswho I'm proud of you

Well, I did manage to get out of the house yesterday... for 15 minutes.

I'm having a tough time and I'm reaching my wits end once again! I can't help but feel so insignificant, like I am the most pathetic human being on the planet....

Everything is so surreal, I almost expect myself to wake up from a bad dream. And my life will be back to normal. And none of this would have ever happened.

I am so beaten down and discouraged and defeated. The constant fear and shame has eroded my entire being. Fear is all I am. And even with the support of friends and family, I exist alone in my non-existence. But if there was one thing I was ever good at, it is letting people down... I don't even know what I'm working towards anymore. I am lost.

I'm sorry. All I do is complain when I cause my own problems. I've got to try harder and stop whining so much...

Well, I think congratulations are in order, even if you only managed to get out for 15 minute, YOU MANAGED TO GET OUT and this is a very positive step. Try to focus more on the positive rather than allow the other negativity which you are feeling take all of the spot light. Try to build on the positive and things will change very soon, I know they did for me.

I hope this helps a bit and all strength and positivity to you and once again, CONGRATULATIONS.

I agree with DavePanic.

GOOD JOB getting out of the house.

Aim to do it again today!

Also, thanks (and good job, since this forum is public) for keeping us posetd on this thread. I suggest keeping your T and Pdoc posted as well!

Yes, I definitely keep my T and Pdoc informed. Although I only have one session with T left...

Today was really, really horrible. I had called and set up a time to go to the movies with a friend but freaked out and canceled at the last minute.

A lot of family issues cropped up suddenly which has put my anxiety into overdrive. The police paid me a visit to push me into filing some criminal charges against my oldest brother. Obviously my parents didn't respond too well to that...

I was caught unexpectedly and now I find myself suddenly sucked into this vortex of heartbreak and sadness and cruelty. Is it no wonder that I wish to disappear?

whoswho, sorry to hear about your family problems, you sure don't need this. Hope everything will work itself out very soon.

Hi,

Gosh I really feel for you. Are you aware of how hard you are on yourself - there's a lot of blaming and shaming. Do you know where that might come from?

I hope you don't mind a small suggestion but have you tried meditation? (Hope I'm allowed to make these kinds of suggestions here!) I have had anxiety for many years and found a combination of things have worked - not meditation alone - but it has definitely helped so there is hope. How are you going with the eye contact? I used to find it very frightening and intimidating to look people directly in the eyes - I felt like they could see right through me to the fear - it was very overwhelming.

dear whos, I understand pretty much what you're going through. not exactly what you feel, but I know how much you're wanting to be normal. I wonder about my own situation sometimes, but I am functioning at the time. I had an episode years ago but I wont get in that right now.

I have an agoraphobic daughter, that means you are afraid to go out. she has been like this since she had a terrifying experience, very hard for her to deal with. she was a outgoing person before it. It is all that she can bring her self to do to only get a shower and make something for breakfast. she is getting better at the time, hoping she is recovering.

Up until now she was unable to leave the house for many things. she would only go to the park with me, and out to do photography and walks in the woods.

never where there would be people. she was on the net all the time. she changed her kind of movies and all. turned to a diff person. didnt like many people and couldnt attend anything with people.

couldnt get her to go to the stores or the mall.

sometimes she did but it ended up with her panicing so bad we had to leave and she was exhausted on the way home. so much that she was lagging on the couch for weeks from that event. especially if someone we knew showed up at the mall

she would go sometimes with her one sibling but she felt safe with her, and it was usually someplace out of the area. for some reason the farther from the house, the event the easier

but then she started to faint when she went to these events from the heat and she got so much more phobic and couldnt attend anything.

she was afraid to go to the doctor or the dentist

still wont go

she is making progress though. she always wore a disguise when she went out, if she went out. she didnt answer the phone, sometimes does now. wouldnt go out front or anyplace near the road and sometimes she wants to go for a walk. she went a few times this year, but just a block or two. she will sometimes go to visit relatives with us. but the panic is there and she ends up so drained from making her attend something that she vomits so much that she cant get herelf to attend it. we have cancelled many events.

I am so sympathetic to her and you because I can tell what it is doing to you.

you aren't a coward, you can overcome this. it is a neurotransmitter issue. my daughter is not on medication but we have been doing the nutrition way of dealing with this and it seems to be getting better

she has attended a few events this year with out a disguise and was very energetic and having fun, so there is hope

((((((whoswho))))))

Wishing you well. There is always hope. Sometimes we have to just declare it without evidence of it. Sometimes all there is to hope for is more hope. I am struggling right now too and like you I would just like to disappear so it can all just stop. This is no way to live but its not my call so I keep on keepin' on one way or another day by day.

Hang in there. You are not alone. There is light out there somewhere.

Thanks again everyone for your continued support... I've been doing a little better lately, going out with friends and even talking on the phone!

Muncie: This family drama is the reason I chose a college on the other side of the country...! It's a real mess. It is very stressful and has brought back a lot of unpleasant memories for me. Definitely bad timing!

Rozine: Yes, I do tend towards self-criticism. It's all I know. I suppose there are several reasons, though the most prominent being that I'm a total perfectionist. I've had an eating disorder for a number of years also. I expect nothing less than perfection from myself which is, of course, impossible; it's just difficult for me to accept.

I've been trying to fit meditation into my everyday life and I think it's helped me, too. My eye contact is still nonexistent for the same reason you gave: I fear that people can see through my facade.

Marquis: Wow, there is a lot there I can really relate with. I also put on a "disguise" when going out: I wear layers and layers of clothes even in this hot summer heat! I still haven't been able to break this, actually. It's really hard to take off my jacket even when it's 110 degrees outside because I don't want to be "seen," even though I probably stick out like a sore thumb wearing a coat in August! I also ruined my family's vacation because of the anxiety... I still feel so guilty and worthless for it.

Medication has really helped me, though. I hope your daughter continues to improve.

Sanityseeker: I'm sorry you're struggling too.

I think I'm finally beginning to see a glimmer of hope somewhere. I've got some momentum now so I have to keep going!

It is a huge smile to hear your positive report!

Great!

Go, whoswho, go!

Thanks for your updates whoswho. You are a real sweetheart and so appreciative of the help that is being offered to you. Glad you're doing much better.