[siempre nada]

Ahhhhhh!!!
Sorry for the scream but that was my initial reaction when I got to see the full names of my roomates. I facebooked them to see what they looked like and I'm sure its just me being lame but I just realized these are real people I'm going to be living with for the year. I looked at their profile pics, smiling of course, completely unaware that their soon to be roomate (me) is a complete freak! I'm depressed,stupid,socially awkward and generally unpleasant to be around..God, I'm going to be what they hoped, no prayed they wouldn't get for a roomate. I honestly feel sorry for them. I can already tell my first year in college is going to be a painful one.

[objtrbit]

awww, dang! What does the worst case scenerio look like for you?
Me, as a roommate-all I do is make sure I keep up with the chores I have, don't mess with other peoples stuff, and be thoughtful and respectful of the people I'm with;

How come you feel that you are stupid?

Socially awkward? In what way?

I donno, I'd want to disect and figure out where the source of your anxiety is coming from.

Most people seem to worry about getting crappy roommates, but you are worried you are a crappy roommate? I donno. Social anxiety is never fun, I shy away from parties myself. It's tough too not knowing these people but knowing that you're about to be living with them!

Depressed? I would wonder where the source of that feeling comes from too. Stress can't help at all!

I donno, I just hope you still allow yourself to feel the way you are going to feel, because people who are happy energy bunnies 24/7 are likely putting up a front, ya know? Life gets hard, and I just hope no one gives you greif about it.

Take care.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((siempre))))

I'm sorry you're so stressed siempre. Remember I mentioned you should speak to the student support person? Have you thought of that yet?

I think too that once you get to know these people it's possible you will feel comfy letting them know you have issues. They may well understand rather than feel bothered?

Rhiannon

[siempre nada]

When I was in high school I was so depressed that I never spoke unless adressed. I would walk around by myself and look..just god awful. I can see why people thought I was unlikeable or just..crazy. It was hard for me to even be interested enough to want to talk to people/make friends..

I guess I'm afraid of reliving high school. People tell me College is so much different, but I know inside I still feel the same. People are the same wherever you go, and with no variables left unchanged..well..I don't exactly expect a picnic.
I realize that these feelings can go on for my entire life and I'll live in a Hell Hoop of unfixable misery. But I want things to change, I just need to rally every inch of strength..its just so hard..