[feary]

This is such a huge problem for me

if I could only trust that what I am doing is right or working then I could have hope

or trust others who say that I will ok and recover and I could overcome this then I would be able to function

[ECHOES]

Reassurance doesn't work for you at this point, because you can't take it in.
That is not judgemental, just something to acknowledge to yourself as a way of dealing with the wanting reassurance and wanting a guarantee that can't be provided.

Sometimes we have to trudge on, carrying our doubts with us as we do the work.
We can choose to think that we'll 'see how this goes'.
Doing this opens your mind to the possibility of hope, reassurance, and a future with the things in it you want.

[feary]

once you get the fear of aging and dying

how do you get rid of it?

it can't be done or erased from your mind

[ECHOES]

You don't erase it, you come to peace with it. It is real. It is out of our control. It is all the more reason to get to the business of living.

Some of the acceptance comes naturally with moving through life experiences and it stops being a shock and becomes something that just 'is'. The thought of the enevitability of dying may come to mind and instead of evoking overwhelming fear, you can notice it and acknowledge that it is something not happening now and not something that is controllable.

Some of the lessening of the fear comes when other fears are worked on and fear in general becomes less able to impact your daily living.

[feary]

I don't have a daily life

My mother came to live with me and she does everything for me with housework, cooking, laundry everything and I let her

she did it to help me support me and out of caring but now I am completely detached from life and debilitated

And I try to do those things but I get overwhelming fear and so I cannot

I have no job, no friends, nothing to do all day when I do not have my kids

When my kids are around I just cater to them and their schedule but I have severe fear

I cannot cope with this life anymore

I am terrified beyond belief and so alone which makes it worse

[ECHOES]

Your mother isn't helping you, by doing everything for you, she is making it possible for you to continue to believe that you are not capable. This is enmeshment and enabling that serves her need (to rescue) and not your need (to have a meaningful adult life).

Our kids would never learn to walk (and fall down and get up again) if we carried them on our hip forever.

It is impossible to love someone "well", as it would be to love a baby to learn to walk.

[feary]

I feel such severe panic constantly and cannot find any relief, and cannot calm down

I don't know what to do

[feary]

please help me

i don't know what will make me feel better

I have taken so many meds and they make me worse and I have no one around no support no love nothing

I am too afraid to take care of my kids now

I am deteriorating

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Originally Posted by feary

once you get the fear of aging and dying

how do you get rid of it?

it can't be done or erased from your mind

Yes it can ((((feary)))) I was totally obssessed with this too as I told you. But something happened and I got over it. Something can happen for you too.

And honestly I found it to be a matter of "did I want to be a basket case or did I want to live a life?" I CHOSE LIFE

Though I still battle other issues that one is now gone and the only thing I worry about in that regard is "Gee I hope I get everything done that I want to do before I go". Not worried about going now, just getting everything done...

Are you young? Yes you are

Are you capable? Yes you are

Are you choosing? Yes you are

Can you change your choices? Yes you can

Are you GOING to change your choices?

I really really trust that you can get over this feary and I know that as the days go on you will come to feel that way too, one moment at a time you will improve and get better...strength is what you need more than trust at this time. Once you achieve the strength, the trust will follow

[feary]

This anxiety is too intense and strong

I am paralyzed

I think something is going to happen to me very soon and I cannot overcome death and aging

it's impossible especially because I have no sense of comfort in my life and I am all alone

this life is just a nightmare

I am scared to do everything even brush my teeth, go to the bathroom, make my bed

I am completely debilitated

I think I am reacting to this new medication selegiline

why in the world did i have to be such a freak that no meds help me at all or give me any relief but instead make me worse

[muncie]

feary, you're an intelligent woman. You must realize that things don't change, people do. Sooner or later, you must test the waters if you are to get well. I have a suggestion, you might consider changing your therapist/psychiatrist. You said she came highly recommended, but obviously hasn't helped you over a long period of time. Possibly you really don't believe in her abilities, a lack of confidence on your part; a bad fit. A change in therapists might bring a new perspective and more trust. I know you've said you don't want to start all over with a new T., but change is what's necessary for you to get on with your life. If you had a physical problem, you wouldn't keep going to the same doctor if he didn't help you. Whatever you decide, I wish you well and a resolution to your situation very soon.