[OrangeMoira]

Before an event, my anxiety makes me feel paralyzed and still, and I tend to hide out alone and talk myself out of attending. If I actually make myself go, then after it's over the "exposed" feeling is overwhelming.

I either go over what I did "wrong" again and again, or I distract myself from those scary thoughts by pacing, flipping through the internet, starting a fight with my husband, or driving aimlessly. I just feel very agitated, scared, and energetic. Like if I'm too still the fears will catch me.

I just came home from a kind of meet and greet--one of the scariest things in the world to me. I am trying to focus on the positive. Today I slowed down enough to post here. I enjoyed talking to people, kind of. I saw people I like. I fulfilled my commitment. I beat the anxiety enough to leave the house. I was mindful enough to notice that it was hard for other people, too. This can be dangerous. If I really think I did a good job, that can make me feel anxious, too, because I'm scared I can't live up to that the next time! ahhh

Right now my heart is racing and I just feel wired. I hate that I have to keep fighting the anxiety even after I "beat it" enough to go. I want to tell my body, "hey, the danger's over---relax already!"

I'm not sure what to do to calm down. Does this sort of thing happen to anyone else? I don't feel like my normal methods will work very well for me in this state. Like journalling could just be a soapbox for my "shoulds."

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Snap....you just described me to a t.... hope you do find ways to relieve these issues.

[RecklessWithMyself]

I used to do this sometimes -
If I did or said anything stupid or that could be taken the wrong way I'd feel terrible and agonise over it to the point where I'd avoid seeing people/visiting places thinking that they'd remember and it would be humiliating.

Personally I didn't find journalling or keeping a diary helped as I kept going over and over things again and again and it made me even more paranoid. To be honest the only trick I had was to not think about it - to try to distract myself into not dwelling on it. Over time I've realised though that nobody else will be thinking about it as much as me or judging me as much as I am - remembering that calms me a little!

Hope you're feeling calmer soon

[Pikku Myy]

Keep hopping along.... and see your DR... for drugs that can assist you in feeling better about yourself...relax and try to gain your confidence You are not alone...