[manwithhat]

I just don't ever want to use my craziness for destructive purposes....

I was really going crazy these last couple of days....relating to what certain serial killers (real and fictional) had said. Thinking "oh my god, whats the difference between me and people like that?!" Is the difference that they dont' get help? Couldn't anyone, if they let themselves, sink down to those levels?

I found myself CONTINUOUSLY Telling myself "its ok, your not evil, and you know what? If you are, you can get HELP!!!!" I JUST DONT WANT THESE THOUGHTS ANYMORE!!!

I DONT SUPPORT THESE THOUGHTS!!! THEY SCARE ME, AND I FEEL LIKE THEY VICTIMIZE ME!!!!

My friend told me that my brain was---subconsciously--giving myself these thoughts as part of a masochistic thing, I just DONT WANT THESE THOUGHTS!!

I WANT TO BE ABLE TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE NO PRISON NO JAIL NO MENTAL HOSPITAL!!!

[Mustkeepjob32]

From your posts on here it is clear that you are extremely tormented by these thoughts and they are negatively affecting your day-to-day life. Only a licensed professional can diagnose you and we hope that you have seen someone because it is not fair for you to continue on like this suffering without knowing the next step for you to feel better.

Z

[sundog]

I totally agree with Mustkeepjob. Please get some professional help (((manwithhat))).

[manwithhat]

Originally Posted by sundog

I totally agree with Mustkeepjob. Please get some professional help (((manwithhat))).

Thank you all so much. I just pray daily that there is a rational explanation and I'm not an evil, demon person.

I think maybe my mind tells me these thoughts to sabotage myself...