[josh14]

i am getting tired of these panic/anxiety attacks or whatever the heck they are controlling my life!!! just had to awkardly walk out of church during the middle of the priests homily. i have been able to function for work thank God, but like last sunday night i panicked most of the night till i just barely got 1 hour of sleep and then i was over an hour late to work. i got 2 jobs too so i ended working till midnight that night. ive had to walk out of other places too and during conversations. since i had a severe panic with a friend when we were fishing in 2008, he had to take me to the er, it was so bad, now i don't like going anywhere because i got extreme phobia now of going places. especially when i am not driving i can't handle riding with people when they are driving and i am not. ever since that one with my friend in 2008 he was driving, it wierd now, a lot of times if someone is driving and even if its just going to town for like a 5 minute drive(i live in a very small town), i start to panic! now thats crazy! makes no sense at all but thats how its been for now what like almost 3 years! then being in conversations someitmes i get real bad ones, especially at like class meetings, like for work or church, etc. last year i was going through sacremental confirmation in the catholic church and we had to meet on tuesday nights from 630pm to 8pm. did this for like i think was 7 months. well towards the end i started getting real bad panicks since the class is like just sit still and quiet and let the sister talk(which she did a real great job teaching), but this would set it off. and i had to walk out during the middle of class all awkwardly and strange and leave 2 times till i gave up and stopped going. talk to the sister and the priest and they were understanding adn let me still be confirmed since it was towards the end and i was making all the classes. but still again this is insane!! i can't go on trips, i can't find another jobs even when theres is plenty in my field good ones too i see open pass by me one by one. im on daily medication taking ativan(lorenzapam) whatever, been taking it for since 2005, im addicted to it. here the last couple of weeks ive been taking extra meds during the day and night. im sick of being dependent on a medication too!! got to make sure i got it with me everywhere i go, even if its a 5 min trip to the store!!! i mean come on this is crazy!!! lol it is!!! i mean ive been fighting this crap since 2004 and taking meds since 05, when will i be able to feel and live a normal life??? do i need to go to a mental hospital for a long stay? i would hate to do that but if it made these dumb stupid panic/anxiety crap go away i would go even if it meant quiting my jobs and paying ti out of my own pocket(not that im rich, im not, even if it meant getting a loan to pay for it). idk, sorry for this long whining 31 yearold man crap, im just tired of this panic crap! !!!!! anyone go to a mental hosipital for this and get cured??????? i almost do anything to get rid of this crap except for im religious of course somethings would be out of question. i just want to live normal, you know be able to do somethings that little children do with ease!!!!!

[Ambrosa]

Originally Posted by josh14

since i had a severe panic with a friend when we were fishing in 2008, he had to take me to the er, it was so bad, now i don't like going anywhere because i got extreme phobia now of going places. especially when i am not driving i can't handle riding with people when they are driving and i am not. ever since that one with my friend in 2008 he was driving, it weird now, a lot of times if someone is driving and even if its just going to town for like a 5 minute drive(i live in a very small town), i start to panic! now that's crazy! makes no sense at all but that's how its been for now what like almost 3 years! . I'm sick of being dependent on a medication too!! got to make sure i got it with me everywhere i go, even if its a 5 min trip to the store!!! i mean come on this is crazy!!! lol it is!!! i mean I've been fighting this crap since 2004 and taking meds since 05, when will i be able to feel and live a normal life??? do i need to go to a mental hospital for a long stay? i would hate to do that but if it made these dumb stupid panic/anxiety crap go away i would go even if it meant quiting my jobs and paying ti out of my own pocket(not that I'm rich, I'm not, even if it meant getting a loan to pay for it). idk, sorry for this long whining 31 year old man crap, I'm just tired of this panic crap! !!!!! anyone go to a mental hospital for this and get cured??????? i almost do anything to get rid of this crap except for I'm religious of course somethings would be out of question. i just want to live normal, you know be able to do somethings that little children do with ease!!!!!

Hi Josh14, Sorry to hear about your on going battle U were saying that u had that panic attack fishing and your friend was driving u to the ER. And u don't like anyone driving cause it will set you off again. I am the same but with different things. Most people avoid putting themselves into the same situation to avoid a having a panic attack thinking that it might set them off again.
I won't go anywhere with out my meds either. It's like my safety net...
Over here there are retreats specifically for panic attacks (like rehabs) to over come them. I would go to one if I could afford it. Maybe that's a idea???
I hope things pick up for u soon

[josh14]

Originally Posted by Ambrosa

Hi Josh14, Sorry to hear about your on going battle U were saying that u had that panic attack fishing and your friend was driving u to the ER. And u don't like anyone driving cause it will set you off again. I am the same but with different things. Most people avoid putting themselves into the same situation to avoid a having a panic attack thinking that it might set them off again.
I won't go anywhere with out my meds either. It's like my safety net...
Over here there are retreats specifically for panic attacks (like rehabs) to over come them. I would go to one if I could afford it. Maybe that's a idea???
I hope things pick up for u soon

o really, wow, i didn't even know there was retreats for specifically panicks, idk though i live in a small town although i will still see if i can research it and find one, thanks thanks

[Cyran0]

josh14, I really sympathize with your situation and your frustration. It's hellish and I know it.

Do you do therapy as well as the meds? I'm assuming you do but if not, I'd recommend it. There are inpatient programs (staying in the hospital for a time), day programs where you spend time in the hospital doing groups etc. but you don't live there, and then there's things like weekly therapy which is what most of us do.

I'm currently of the opinion that some sort of therapy work is the answer for long term improvement but that's not coming from a position of experience, just my hope (since that's what I'm doing and like you I'm dreaming of a normal life).

I hope things start to turn around for you. And I hope you come back to let us know how you're doing. It's a very supportive group.

Cyran0

[josh14]

Originally Posted by Cyran0

josh14, I really sympathize with your situation and your frustration. It's hellish and I know it.

Do you do therapy as well as the meds? I'm assuming you do but if not, I'd recommend it. There are inpatient programs (staying in the hospital for a time), day programs where you spend time in the hospital doing groups etc. but you don't live there, and then there's things like weekly therapy which is what most of us do.

I'm currently of the opinion that some sort of therapy work is the answer for long term improvement but that's not coming from a position of experience, just my hope (since that's what I'm doing and like you I'm dreaming of a normal life).

I hope things start to turn around for you. And I hope you come back to let us know how you're doing. It's a very supportive group.

Cyran0

actually no i don't see a therapist. i get my meds from a general practice doctor. he does not therapy just refill my meds. i did go in the past originally especially after i got out of the hospital for that thing i mentioned on my profile page, well they made me go then. but i haven't gone for years now, but im leaning towards your advice yea trying to find someone in this tiny town next week to go see to talk with. its just really driving me madd here lately. and like i said if i was confident on being somewhat cured on a inpatient treatment place i would go for sure even though i would hate to. thanks sir for your advice, this is supportive, thank you sir

[buttrfli42481]

(((((((((((joshy)))))))))) I am so sorry you are not finding relief from the panic attacks. I know they are not fun. I agree with the others that have commented already. I think that therapy could do you some good. Know that I am here to listen whenever you need it.

[josh14]

Originally Posted by buttrfli42481

(((((((((((joshy)))))))))) I am so sorry you are not finding relief from the panic attacks. I know they are not fun. I agree with the others that have commented already. I think that therapy could do you some good. Know that I am here to listen whenever you need it.

thanks butterfli, thats really sweet of you God bless

[Ambrosa]

How's thing it Been going Josh???

[josh14]

Originally Posted by Ambrosa

How's thing it Been going Josh???

thanks for asking Ambrosa, hugshugshugs, sorry i just seen this post. im doing ok atm but im still strugglin daily same for the last 4 weeks been a lot harder than i can remeber dealing with this crap. i really tired of it to be honest, sick and tired of it. its been like idk 7 yrs almost been fighting this stuff. i finally called for an appointment for a couselor but i left 2 messages on her phone and no call back, so. i probalby need to go see this priest thats really nice that i get counseling from sometimes. maybe ill do that this week, idk if i will get the time to. thanks again for aksing thats very nice of you, now how are you mind me asking?

[Cyran0]

Seeing your priest could be a great idea, especially since you already have a relationship. Sorry the counselor you were reaching out to hasn't called you back. I hope she does.

Seven years is a long time to deal with anything but especially as something as painful as anxiety. The good news is that you've survived seven years of this so you clearly have a lot of inner strength and resources. Keep reaching out for help and hopefully you wont have to be so strong for much longer.

Cyran0

[Ambrosa]

Originally Posted by josh14

thanks for asking Ambrosa, hugshugshugs, sorry i just seen this post. im doing ok atm but im still strugglin daily same for the last 4 weeks been a lot harder than i can remeber dealing with this crap. i really tired of it to be honest, sick and tired of it. its been like idk 7 yrs almost been fighting this stuff. i finally called for an appointment for a couselor but i left 2 messages on her phone and no call back, so. i probalby need to go see this priest thats really nice that i get counseling from sometimes. maybe ill do that this week, idk if i will get the time to. thanks again for aksing thats very nice of you, now how are you mind me asking?

that's ridiculous that this counselor hasn't rang you back. Hopefully she does. I think going to priest is a good idea too. Someone you are comfortable with and none judgemental. I know what you mean about being really tired of it all. I myself have been struggling for a few days. It's in my thread "starting to panic. Scared... " Just want to feel normal even if it is for a week. That way i might be able to find some more inner strength. I hope things pick up for you Josh