[Iamwho]

Have not gone to town in a couple years. I don't get dressed, sometimes brush hair, and couple weeks between showers.
Husband on SSI disability does shopping, mail etc. I do the bills and try to do housework and fix food, but feel overwhelmed.
Afraid to see anyone I know, (seem to have aged 10 yrs last year). Afraid of impulse buying.
Distant family have multiple MI.

[sundog]

Hi Iamwho. Welcome! I'm really sorry you're struggling to leave the house. I have some pretty major anxiety issues too, and I completely understand how they can take over your life.

Is it possible for you to get any professional help at all? Setting small daily goals that help move you slowly in the right direction can work well (but I know it's hard!) For example, might it be possible to go a short distance outside the house with your husband?

Wishing you all the best ((((Iamwho))))

[CliveWild]

Hi Iamwho,

I am sorry you are struggling so much. I wanted to reply to you because I can relate to a lot of what you said. I get a lot of the same issues , if not quite so severe. I do understand how it can happen. I did get away for a couple of nights at Christmas, but it was a struggle and I came back early. I don't look after myself. I struggle to feed myself some days and I don't keep my fridge or cupboards stocked. To be honest , I am a mess. I usually brush my hair eventually but I sometimes forget. Showering is not a priority. It is probably good that I live alone!

I just wanted to say that I am here to support you if it helps. Just send me a message and I will be sure to reply.

Take Care.. You are not alone...

[Iamwho]

Thanks sundog. I tried to get help years ago but kept canceling. I thought I was just depressed. But now everything has become a struggle. Have been outside to put trash in can and burn.
Will work on getting dressed for in public.
Baby steps.

[Iamwho]

Clive,
Thanks for replying. Helps to know how others are dealing. Amazing you could get away for a couple of nights. I can't even imagine it for me.
Right now I'm just trying to get out to get glasses. Too many steps involved.

Let's keep on trying.

[Iamwho]

Sundog, I am thinking about trying to go to the state mental health. Tried about 3 years ago but kept canceling the initial interview. I don't have any insurance and only income is husbands SS and VA disability.
Now my out of state drivers license expired because my new state application was denied because my birth certificate name was different. So back to doing very little for now.

[(JD)]

I know there are online therapists that could help you initially, but it does seem that this type of disorder may need a T who comes to you, and works with you from there. Is there anyone like that in your area?

[sundog]

Originally Posted by Iamwho

Sundog, I am thinking about trying to go to the state mental health. Tried about 3 years ago but kept canceling the initial interview. I don't have any insurance and only income is husbands SS and VA disability.
Now my out of state drivers license expired because my new state application was denied because my birth certificate name was different. So back to doing very little for now.

It's good to hear from you (((((((Iamwho)))))) I'm sorry you're struggling like this. I definitely know first-hand that things get more difficult the more we avoid doing them. I am stuck in that vicious cycle myself. It's hard to break it. Setting myself small goals that move me in the right general direction is the only way I know how to work with this.

I think it's really good that you're thinking of approaching the state mental health services. Can your hubby help you with this? Take you to the interview etc?? And can he help you with renewing your state driver's license?

Keep talking to us here! We're rooting for you!!

[Iamwho]

Thanks sundog for the encouragement. He will probably take me when I am ready. Says he can't help me with my identity problem and hasn't tried.

Hope you get out of the vicious cycle. My small goals for myself aren't getting done. Other wifely duties are all I can barely handle and not very well.

[sundog]

((((((((((((Iamwho))))))))))))) Sorry it's so tough. I'm not doing great with my daily goals either. I don't have a problem leaving the house, but I am limited in lots of other ways by my anxiety. I'm ok with the really simple goals, but I keep procrastinating about taking on anything more challenging.

Are you managing to get outside at all? How's the weather where you are? It definitely helps if the weather is nice. Do you have some things at home you enjoy doing? Reading or any hobbies?

I really hope things get easier ((((((((Iamwho)))))))))))

[Iamwho]

Originally Posted by sundog

((((((((((((Iamwho))))))))))))) Sorry it's so tough. I'm not doing great with my daily goals either. I don't have a problem leaving the house, but I am limited in lots of other ways by my anxiety. I'm ok with the really simple goals, but I keep procrastinating about taking on anything more challenging.

Are you managing to get outside at all? How's the weather where you are? It definitely helps if the weather is nice. Do you have some things at home you enjoy doing? Reading or any hobbies?

I really hope things get easier ((((((((Iamwho)))))))))))

Sundog. The wasps are flying and I am allergic to them. My face swelled up years ago from a sting which left my skin stretched out.

I used to have 3 Rottys, mother and a brother and sister. they were my kids, all have passed now. I can't emotionally or physically have dogs anymore.
Thanks for reminding me about books. There are some around here I liked reading.

I finally vacuumed part of the house!

[sundog]

(((((Iamwho)))) Well done on the vacuuming!!!! That's awesome!!!!

I'm really sorry about the wasp allergy. That's scary My dog are my kids too.....I'm so sorry your dear Rottys have passed. I am absolutely dreading that inevitability. How adorable that you had a whole family!!

I hope you're able to find a good book Well done again on the vacuuming. That is a huge achievement!!!!

[Iamwho]

Sundog. Thank you very much. Hope you get to keep your dogkids a very long time. Kept mine for 12-13 years.
Changed the sheets, but just realized when doing a new chore I leave out something else I usually do. Seems limiting. Do others do this too?
For got to look for the books.

[sundog]

Thanks (((((((Iamwho))))) Well done for changing the sheets!! Do you mean that because you changed the sheets there is something else that you normally do each day which you didn't do yesterday? Either way, it's great you changed the sheets!! I did that at the weekend too. It's a lot of work!!!

[Iamwho]

Thanks for the encouragement Sundog. Yeah, might skip something like brushing teeth, cooking etc. Don't cook everyday though. I am a mess.
Have started taking half a 25mg amitriptaline (husband's old med)a bed time so I sleep more than 1-2 hours at a time. Maybe it will help me to get out and seek help.

[sundog]

I'm so glad if it's helping you sleep more (((((((Iamwho)))))) That is so important. Well done for taking this step. The first of many more, I'm sure

[Iamwho]

I thought the amitriptyline was helping at first, but seem to be waking every couple hours again. Thinking about posts and posting on psycentral gets me out of bed.
Been wanting to post but not sure where and if I should start a new thread. How should I decide?

[sundog]

Really glad that PC gives you a reason to get out of bed ((((((Iamwho)))))))). Sorry the amitryptyline is messing with your sleep. It's always good to start a new thread to get more feedback

[CedarS]

Originally Posted by Iamwho

I thought the amitriptyline was helping at first, but seem to be waking every couple hours again. Thinking about posts and posting on psycentral gets me out of bed.
Been wanting to post but not sure where and if I should start a new thread. How should I decide?

Glad you are posting. Feel completely free also to start a new thread on anything you like and place it where it makes sense to you. Lots of us worry about where to place things but really, we are all fine.

[OrangeMoira]

Hello, Iamwho! I've had times when I haven't been able to leave the house, but they were short periods. It was very hard to get myself going again. I think it's great that you keep working on this even though it's been difficult for you for a while.

I think getting dressed to go out is a great first step. Are you okay in the car? For me, being in the yard made me feel too exposed, but if I got to the car and my husband drove it was okay. As one of my intermediate steps, I would ride around in the car with my husband but not get out.

Good luck to you in your journey! I hope you keep posting, whether here or in a new thread.

[muncie]

Hi Iamwho, so glad you're posting and getting such positive feedback. This support is helping to reset your thinking and opening your mind to possibilities. My only suggestion is to really try hard to get into a mental health clinic. It sounds to me like you suffer from depression and there are many prescriptions available that could really help you with this. Sundog is right, baby steps is the way to start. Any member of PC can relate to you in one way or another, it takes courage and time but it can be done. I speak for myself as well. Sending sunny thoughts your way.

[Iamwho]

Originally Posted by OrangeMoira

Hello, Iamwho! I've had times when I haven't been able to leave the house, but they were short periods. It was very hard to get myself going again. I think it's great that you keep working on this even though it's been difficult for you for a while.

I think getting dressed to go out is a great first step. Are you okay in the car? For me, being in the yard made me feel too exposed, but if I got to the car and my husband drove it was okay. As one of my intermediate steps, I would ride around in the car with my husband but not get out.

Good luck to you in your journey! I hope you keep posting, whether here or in a new thread.

Thanks Orange. Riding in the car and the surroundings are still scary. Have to get used to it again. It dosen't help that he drives like a redneck. At least he hasn't had too many accidents.

[Iamwho]

Thanks Muncie,the mh clinic should probably be my next call.

[sundog]

Good luck making that call ((((((((((Iamwho))))))))))))

[Iamwho]

I am struggling to fill out the mental assessment, financial and registration forms. Why is it so hard to make this appointment or any appointment? This is so hard for me to admit. I am sorry I haven't gotten any better. I am still grateful for your help. I keep reading the posts sent to me to remind me what to try to do. Thank you all.