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#1
Apr 25, 2011, 01:04 PM
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I just can't stop worrying about my husband and I hope that when he goes to the doctor today, that whatever his underlying problem is, he might be able to get a jumpstart on it through the stomach problems he is having....Personally I think he is making himself sick by holding in everything he is going through. Recently reconnected with family and I think this has brought to the front of his memory a lot of childhood abuse and neglect and he will not open up to me or anyone else who can help him learn to cope with everything he is feeling.
It scares me that he is so distant...How can I support him and let him know I will be there for him no matter what, if he will not stop pulling away and shutting me out?????
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Last edited by slinks; Apr 25, 2011 at 03:06 PM. Reason: deleted |
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#2
Apr 25, 2011, 04:19 PM
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I'm always trying to get my husband to talk to me more about his feelings, and we've been together for 14 years. I know exactly what you mean about the distance feeling scary.
It's hard to change people. All you can do really is just to be there and remind him now and then that you love him and want to listen. I think over time that has helped us. thea |
 slinks
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#3
Apr 25, 2011, 06:13 PM
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Ironically I'm the one always trying to get my wife to talk about her feelings. It sucks because I start to question everything.
His stomach problems could well be psychological and hopefully your doctor puts that together and suggests some treatment. Maybe he'd listen to that? Cyran0
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My blog: http://cyran0.psychcentral.net/ Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD (childhood physical/sexual abuse), history of drug abuse. Meds: Zoloft, Lorazapam, Coffee, Cigarettes "I may climb perhaps to no great heights, but I will climb alone." -Cyrano de Bergerac |
| slinks
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#4
Apr 25, 2011, 10:59 PM
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Well I asked to go with him and made sure to mention it, and the dr. said that it is probably a medical condition, but certainly the stress, will just greatly intensify whatever is going on. I hope that he is now goinb to seek some counseling at least, but the dr. said unfortunately that is his call and I just need to keep working on myselt and give him space while letting him know I am there for him should he need me... but I was able to share some of my deepest fears after his appointment and I really hope that it might be the breakthrough he needed. Guess I'll see in a few days...
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#5
Apr 25, 2011, 11:01 PM
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And thanks Thea and CyranO.
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#6
Apr 26, 2011, 05:35 AM
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Just remember to tell him you love him and you're on his his side and will support him in whatever way he needs...I know that's what I need to hear sometimes
__________________
 Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~ Maya Angelou Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
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| slinks
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#7
Apr 26, 2011, 01:58 PM
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Can't stop crying, I try to tell him, usually just in texts or in notes or cards, because it kinda hurts when I tell him I love him and he doesn't return it.... but I still keep trying. And I try to tell him I am on his side and that I am just concerned about him...even if we can't have a future together, I want him to get help and be happy again. He just has not been the same person the past maybe even year and a half that he was for the first 20 years that I knew him. I just want to see him happy and confident again...
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#8
Apr 26, 2011, 02:10 PM
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Quote:
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
| slinks
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#9
Apr 26, 2011, 04:51 PM
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Perna, Thanks for that.....I really know most all these things, but sometimes I get so wound up in my anxiety, that I kind of lose sight of some things, so I am glad you all helped remind me of things to try to help me..... I want to "chill out" and give him space........
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#10
Apr 26, 2011, 07:08 PM
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Hi SL, my partner doesn't understand panic attacks. But he trys to do wat he can to help. But when there r issues with him he won't tell me wats going on. He says that I don't need something else to worry about. I've told him I wast to be able to help him like he heps me. But he just goes quiet and closes up. I give him his space and tell him I am there for him
I really do hope things work between u and ur hubby xox |
| slinks
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#11
Apr 28, 2011, 07:06 PM
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My husband used to be understanding, but I think he is just worn out from "dealing with me" all these years and I guess I can't blame him in some ways, but it is getting better for me, but he isn't getting better, so even though he sees changes in me, he just isn't ready to let me off the hook so to speak. I just really need to be patient, but it is so hard to just sit by and do nothing while he suffers.
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