Not sure where to turn

The anxiety is back...it comes at work, all the time. Then it follows me home. Obsessing over challenges, difficult situations. Sharing with my pdoc but struggling all the same. Hate this roller coaster. I am fine for a while then it all returns. Wishing my life would just return to normal.

Just venting.

You cannot win....as you know it would be the same if he was white and you black..probably worse!!! LOL....You did the right thing. You have no need to keep examing yourself. Why do we do this to ourselves? I don't know.Its possible you are still feeling the leftover depression, and it is still showing its ugly head. If you have documented everything and the organization is behind you then you must find a way to let this go and let the chips fall where they may.

Who knows, he may decide to let this go realizing he cannot win at all, and all this worry will be totally unnecessary and unwarranted. You have to find a way to quit obscessing over this.What are you really afraid of? You were not wrong. The organization agrees. The employee did not do his job period.!

You can try and put this whole incident perhaps in perspective. Like "whats the worse that can happen?" Think of this as a new lesson and once you understand it, you can master it because this 'lesson" will come up again. Then you will know what you did was right and there will be no fear.

You did the right and correct thing...My old supervisor used to tell me(I was the assistant supervisor) that we have to get rid of the weeds to let the flowers grow. Your employee was a weed, and taking away from the other employees who were doing THEIR job. After I realized I was hurting my good employees was I able to see that firing one was necessary!

Thinking of you!!!
Dee

Hi feddy. I know how u feel. I'm sorry u have to continuously go through it. Its not cause from stress at work is it? Just cause u Said it comes at work. Mine got really bad at work only cause there was allot crap happening. So I quit. my anxiety stopped for a while then started again.

feddy...your first post was just fine!!!!No reason to edit!!!
Hugs;
Dee

Me too my friend.

Cyran0

Thank you for reminding me that it's okay to write what I feel and need to say. The anxiety made me edit my post. Isn't that so sad...

I started to get scared of who might read it, psydonym or not. What if someone recognizes me? I shouldn't have said what I said...

For those who didn't read my initial post, the nutshell is that I run a large team at work and have just let go of an employee for poor performance. He is now suing me for wrongful termination based on racial discrimination, stating that I was targeting him, employee abuse, and a number of other extremely hurtful lies.

I have the full support of my employer, our lawyers and full documentation to support me but I am obsessing non stop about the situation. My pdoc has been wonderful and we are trying to manage this without adding extra meds but it is throwing me back into a dangerous state of anxiety. He actually said to me that I can't let the anxiety start taking over my life. Easier said than done.

All I do is obsess over this endlessly. It is taking over my life. This weekend has been a total mess and all I've really done is visit my pdoc and sit on the couch and mope. And it's only been a week. And it could drag on for who knows how long. I am a wreck.

(((((Missbelle)))))

Anxiety took over and I made a poor choice. It's amazing how it can rule our minds absolutely in some moments. Thank you for reminding me that it's okay.

I have actually just returned to work for about 6 months into a new job that I LOVE after taking six months off. I was suffering from major depression, anxiety and panic and was finally well enough to return full time. Taking time off was the best thing I ever did - even though I was still sick I had the time I needed to focus on me and get things under control. This is the first real slip I've had since returning to work, but I have to wonder if something like this happened to me even a year down the road if I would be able to cope better? I know how much stronger I am now than I was even a few months back. But still...I am unable to cope even now without all the baggage returning. The roller coaster, so to speak.

(PS - I am quite aware that thoughts like these are destructive and counter productive.)