[bllauben]

I don't get panic attacks very often. But when I do, they come one after another after another. At one point several months ago, I had several within an hour, lasting about 5 minutes each.

So, I'm stressed to the MAX and am in the middle of a storm of panic attacks:
1) I've been trying to pay a student loan bill for the last 3 weeks. The first time, I messed up on the routing number. Called the next day and they told me to call in a week. I did. Gave them the correct number. They credited my account. Still has yet to show up in my bank account. I get a letter stating that if I don't pay it within a week, it's going to collections... called them today... it got crossed in the mail after I made my payment. Still stressed about it even though I know I should not be.
2) I got took for $257 in fake checks yesterday at work. Nothing I can do about it. I did what I was supposed to do. The manager even got fooled. I'm not going to get in trouble for it, but it still bothers me and my mind is obessing over it. My dreams were nothing but that. Stressed out about it even though I know the worse thing that is going to happen is that I'm going to have to talk to my boss and loss prevention.
3) I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. I have to get a cavity filled. My worst fear on this earth is needles. There's no drilling without numbing my gum. They numb the gum with a needle. Never mind the $500 bill (I don't have dental insurance)... And they don't believing in laughing gas or anything like that.
4) I'm getting married July 7th. I have NO CLUE why that's upsetting me because I have lived with the best guy for the last 3 years! Yet, my mind is obessing over it and it is driving me nuts!

It is driving me nuts that I am so anxious over this all even though, I know logically there's nothing to be upset about. It's like the rational side of me is trying to reassure the irrational side of me that everything is going to be alright. However, the irrational side of me is throwing a fit like a kid not getting his own way. Within the last few days, I've had moments of pure panic, where I cannot function. I have a HUGE stress headache--afraid to take something for it since I get migraines and do not want a rebound headache.

Grrrrr...I just wish my irrational side would listen to my rational side and pipe down...I like to be able to function...

The only upside to all of this anxiety: I'm getting extra lovings from my three cats. Love my NIna, Mooch and Patches!

--Beth

[kaliope]

I know rational and irrational sides and those chaotic conversations. Drive me mad! you sound really frustrated to have to deal with all of this. Have you tried breathing exercises? When I start to panic, I tell myself to relax, you cant panic and relax at the same time. i tell myself that over and over again. its a bit chaotic but sometimes i win and break the cycle.

i related to your dental anxiety there. any chance of getting the work done without the shot. i have SEVERE dental anxiety and my last filling i asked him to try it without the shot and it went so much better. the shot usually hurt worse than the drilling did.

well i hope that rational wins for you and gives you a break. sounds like you deserve it.

[bllauben]

The rational side won...after 5 cups of chamomile tea and a great work out at work. Though the tea is wearing off after three hours. It's irritating. I was so close to calling off from work, taking 2 Benadryl and going to bed. But that would be allowing the anxiety to win. I don't lose. Not to myself at least.

I was doing breathing exercises, but it only seemed to increase my tension. So, when I felt an attack coming on, I closed my eyes and slowly started to count and told myself that I was okay and that I was being irrational.

I called the dentist. They use something called the "Magic Wand." Just to be safe and sorry, I am bringing some cream to numb my gums. If I feel anything, I will absolutely have a melt down. They're either going to understand it and use the cream on me or they are going to drill without the "Magic Wand." I trust them that it will not hurt, I just have such a fear of needles and I know the "magic wand" uses the tinest needle on earth... still.

We'll see what tomorrow brings... hopefully no more panic attacks. **Fingers and toes crossed**