[justfloating]

Since I finished school I've noticed that things that didn't used to bother me are starting to freak me out. I've always been shy but social situations in particular are really starting to get to me. Some of them are really simple, like I get flustered ordering a coffee, or I get so nervous going into grocery stores that I race around them in order to get out as fast as I can. I'm scared to check my email or answer the phone because I'm sure there's bad news waiting for me at the other end. I don't even know what I'm afraid of, exactly. I have incredibly low self-esteem and I just feel like wherever I go, I don't belong. It's like I'm always on guard, waiting for the world to attack me.

I was diagnosed with depression almost four years ago, and I've been in treatment ever since. There was occasionally a fair amount of anxiety associated with that but it wasn't like this, although to be honest I'm pretty sure I was just too tired to feel anxious most of the time. Whatever is going on now is different. It's making it difficult to go about my day-to-day life.

I don't really know what I'm looking for here. I just kind of wanted to acknowledge that there's something wrong.

[vintageromance]

I sympathize with you a lot. I have social anxiety which keeps me from doing simple things sometimes like asking a store employee for help or answering the door for pizza. I also know what it feels like to have anxiety about answering the phone or checking your email; just always waiting and expecting something bad. I really understand that.

I'm not sure what the problem could be (although it sounds like generalized anxiety disorder to me), but maybe it'd be helpful to see someone about it. It might also be helpful to pick up some relaxation techniques to help control your anxiety a little better.

[Rohag]

Hello, Justfloating!

Originally Posted by justfloating

...I'm always on guard...

Are you always always on guard, or are there situations and/or places where you are relatively less on guard? Are you still writing?

-- Grateful for your outstanding contributions over the past years!

[justfloating]

Thanks vintageromance, it's good to know I'm not alone. While I was at school my counselor gave me some podcasts on breathing exercises and other relaxation techniques. I'd completely forgotten about them until you mentioned relaxation techniques, so I'll definitely dig them up. Thanks!

Rohag -- I guess I'm less on guard when I'm at home, or if I'm out and about I'm a lot better if I'm with a friend rather than by myself. I've always got these nagging worries at the back of my mind but they're worse if I'm alone. I'm still writing when I can. Not as much lately but it's more to do with the fact that I have a hard time writing at home (too much noise and distraction) and because we live in the country it can be hard to get out.