[wing]

I just made a phone call that lasted all of a minute, and I'm going into panic mode. I avoid using the phone whenever possible. I can't stay on it for long, talking to anybody, before this happens. It starts as I coach myself into actually making the call, and I have to use coping skills afterwards to calm down. This sounds simple, but it is debilitating. Is it part of social anxiety or what?

[whenwillitend]

I have the same problem. I have to rehearse what I'm going to say before I can make the call. The only person I can talk on the phone with is my husband. Anyone else, I panic. And I avoid making phone calls as much as I can. And it's actually worse calling people I know. During phonecalls I can feel myself panic, my breathing gets more and more shallow and difficult, and all I can think is "hang up, hang up".

It's good to know I'm not alone in this. But I am sorry that you're dealing with this too.

[lastyearisblank]

Yeah, I was just studying classical conditioning, and it's related to that, it's a fear response. Some people learn very fast under conditions of stress- "neurons that fire together wire together." So if you are afraid of the phone perhaps that means you've had a few awkward phone conversations. Some people don't remember these. Others learn very fast to associate the phone with social anxiety. So when you pick up the phone, you are cuing a conditioned response to remember other stressful situations, which, obviously, then makes it harder to focus or calm down, which can lead to more anxiety, blah dee blah dee blah. Dunno if that helps. I'm ok with the phone but I have intense anxiety about email (especially work related) so can def. relate, and it sucks.

What kind of coping skills do you use btw, wingin'it that sounds great?

When Phone Fear Is Something More

http://socialanxietydisorder.about.c...honephobia.htm

[aeylania]

I'm glad I'm not the only one... Thanks for the article! I put off making calls when I'm feeling really anxious, and the thought of making them scares the pants off me sometimes. I've always been this way. I even get anxious when posting in the forums or sending emails. I used to rewrite emails and posts over and over again until I was sure they were error free, and then hover over the send button, too scared to send it.

[Hope-Full]

I totally understand this. I've gotten better over the years, but I still script out phone calls when I have to call to make an appointment or something - literally writing out my script of what to say. It helps a lot. If I know I'm going to be leaving a message (calling my T or something) I will write out exactly what I need to say and just read that.

I so love email and texts - that is much easier for me to use to communicate, and my primary way to do so!

[wing]

Originally Posted by lastyearisblank

What kind of coping skills do you use btw, wingin'it that sounds great?

ltib, I do the typical coping skills, deep breathing, visualization, and some generic CBT techniques. I cobble most of the CBT together to defuse the inevitable "I should have said..." and call it my self-talk.

After reading byz's article and the replies above, I'm going to add the things you guys have shared to my tool box.

Thank you all!

[kaliope]

ive always been afraid of the phone. my daugther too. we would fight over who would call and order take out. we would try to make my son do it and even he didnt want to. when i have to make phone calls i pray for answering machines and then i babble on because i dont know what to say. its so embarrasing. i hang up thinking i didnt say what i needed to and that i repeated myself sounding the fool. its hard because i have to talk on the phone as part of my job, but they are wanting help from me so somehow i manage that first phone call. but when they miss their appt, i am unable to call them to see why and reschedule them. i know i could have more clientel if i followed up, but i just cant do it. i rationalize that it is their responsibility if they miss an appt to contact me.

[siljie]

I don't consider myself having a legitimate phobia of phones, but I do get extremely anxious and nervous when using them - I think it's mostly because I'm afraid of awkward silences, and when I get nervous I have this really embarrassing laugh and my voice is always shaky. I avoid whenever possible too, but texting is okay with me. If I would get texts in the first place. -.-

[with or without you]

ugh, I hate the phone. It is definitely social anxiety

[BatsAndButterflies]

I can talk to a very select group of people on the phone, but I have to be expecting it. And other people that call will get screened because I'll freak and push end as soon as I see the name.

[Rio_]

Originally Posted by wingin'it

I just made a phone call that lasted all of a minute, and I'm going into panic mode. I avoid using the phone whenever possible. I can't stay on it for long, talking to anybody, before this happens. It starts as I coach myself into actually making the call, and I have to use coping skills afterwards to calm down. This sounds simple, but it is debilitating. Is it part of social anxiety or what?

You're definitely not the only one, I hate phones as well. I'm better with them than I used to be - when I was a kid I couldn't even answer the phone, but now I'm normally ok with talking to people I know if they call me (still find it difficult phoning them though), and I'm not too bad with making some phone calls so long as nobody's around me at the time. There are certain types of phone calls I find easier to make than others, simply because I've had to do them more often - for example, I'm now reasonably comfortable with calling the bank and utilities companies, as long as I can write out what I'm going to say first.

I still really struggle with making phone calls at work, though, because it's an open plan office and I hate it when people can hear me talking on the phone - also because I don't have a lot of work experience and I'm not used to making those types of calls yet. (I'm an engineering intern and sometimes have to call up suppliers to ask questions about their products, or request quotes for parts we need manufactured.)

Also, I can't leave answerphone messages, even if I write down what I'm going to say first I still panic.

Can't offer much advice, I'm afraid, other than to suggest that the more phone calls you make, the easier it'll get. If you have a therapist, you could try mentioning it to him/her and see what they say - it could be related to social anxiety, in which case exposure therapy can help. Good luck.

[ECHOES]

Yes it is part of social anxiety because it is about the same fears: how others will treat us when we step out of the shadows and make ourselves visible in any way. How they will perceive us, if they will be friendly, if they will be helpful when we need their help, if they will judge us, if they will hurt us in some way.

I used to avoid phones at all cost, and even growing up I told friends that if they call, tell me what they want and don't expect me to hang around after plans are made. nice :-\
I'm still not much a social chatter person, and I don't enjoy talking on the phone at length and that's okay. At work I need to and, depending on who I am calling and how powerful I decide they are (in my mind) and what I want (my need), I can still be quite intimidated. I manage to get those calls made though because I wait until the feeling has passed. I often write down what exactly I need and that helps.

When this is worked on and resolved, it is such freedom!

[Cannot]

I have also phone phobia and I think it's because of my social anxiety. I even don't want to talk to my parents on phone.

[gma45]

Weow I thought it was just me! The hovering over the send button on the computer.....That's me! I have had many jobs where that is what I did , talk on the phone and didn't have a problem that was my excuse for not answering the phone at home, But lately it is just the thought of making a call sets me in panic mode or hitting enter....So here I go>>>>enter enter ENTER Breath! Thanks for your post!

[ECHOES]

gma45, I am better (now) with having to call someone for my work. I know what I need from the person in order to do some part of my job. I know that we will usually be 'on the same page' because I am with an insurer and they are medical billers or medical office staff. They "get" me. lol

But at home I still avoid the phone.

One is business and the other is personal so it's intimate = Fear.

[Nemor]

Can definitely relate to this thread! Any time I have to make a phone call, it scares the beejeebies out of me! :P I get really shaky, my heart pounds, my voice gets weak and shaky, and I stumble over my words a ton. I really have to take a long time preparing myself to make a call, making sure I know exactly what I need to say, etc, so I can just get it over with! I avoid the phone whenever possible.

[Insomnia Island]

I have often dialed a number then hang up upon the first ring or when they say hello.