[venusss]

Okay, I cannot seem to overcome my anxieties. No matter how hard I try. Breathing excercise and pushing through gets me only that far. I mean, I get "it" done in some 90% of case, my anxiety holds me back. I mean, even some professors on my Uni noticed it... and I thought I hide it well. I am just unreasonably nervous when talking to people, especially those I look up to. I underestimate myself at times. I don't believe I am worthy of some things.

in addition of worrying over too many things too intensively... this is probably not good for me, healthwise and otherwise.


I don't know if one can get over it somehow or if it is just how it is always gonna be. Maybe I can use it as positive driving force...

i just don't know. I am annoyed at myself.

What is at the root of your anxiety? Is it lack of self-confidence? My father, whose advice is always good (and for that reason, is obnoxious) said, "Don't ever anticipate what others think of you." I have always tried to remember this when anxiety arises around what others are seeing in me. Eventually I just learned to do my own thing, let the cards fall where they may...

Maybe this is not it at all with you...can you be more specific?. You're obviously bright, self-aware, what do you think you're lacking?

[venusss]

I guess self-confidence issues combined with catastrophizing are big part of that. Maybe my perfectionalism plays a role too.

[lynn P.]

I struggle with this too Venus and it was very bad when I was younger. The good news is, I learned to manage it although it doesn't go away completely. I didn't get professional help but imagine it would be easier to manage with help - wish I would have got help. The way I deal with authority figures is, to imagine they're just the same as everyone else and maybe they also have their own vulnerabilities. It got easier as I got older and wiser.

I was painfully shy when I was a child and find people with social anxiety are totally preoccupied with worrying what others think. The fact is, most people aren't focused on others. Try to replace the inner negative criticism and reassure yourself.

[gma45]

I agree Venus, I had a situation at work yesterday. The manager's came to me and ask me how something had gone down, There were about three people standing there besides myself. I started to talk and then it hit me I had to stop and breath I finally got the story out but felt as if I might pass out. I don't know if I feel like I am being confronted or interrogated or both.Which I wasn't at all at the time. I don't have problems talking w/ people casually just when I feel like all eyes are on me. I too was painfully shy as a child. Good friends that know me would say...."You shy we don't believe it!" I have only worked 6 days total so I really don't know these people well, that may have something to do with it. Possibly judgment, I don't know why because I come off as a person that is confident but inside I am on the edge! I don't know if this makes sense to you but it's my story and I am stickin to it! lol!

[gma45]

I too am a perfectionist!

[roads]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

I am just unreasonably nervous when talking to people, especially those I look up to.

This remains my Achilles' heel, the social phobia I've never made any progress on tho it's the one I've spent the most time on. For me, it's when I'm talking one-on-one with someone I truly admire.

Oddly, I can now address them in groups--present papers or even lead spontaneous discussions when they are present, and I'm fine.

I've worked with therapists on this & approached it from every angle I can think of on my owe. I've tried just treating the symptoms with meditation, yoga breath, you name it.

So, Venus, I'll send you all my best energy, thoughts, & wishes regarding this & hope you discover your solution. It just might lead me to mine.